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This Week in SCOHA- January 23rd, 2020

Cooking with some real hot grease


SCOHA 2019/2020

Well the Junior Blackhawks are Scoha’s hottest team right now, rattling off 4 wins in their past 5 games. Despite getting thumped this past week by the Oil, these guys are cooking with some real hot grease right now so line up for some fries, it’ll take about 8 seconds to cook. Let’s dive in to last week’s action as the playoff picture has began to shape up.

JUNIOR DIVISION:

OILERS 9 BLACKHAWKS 3 Three players scored a pair for the Oilers as they slipped past the Hawks 9-3. Hope you had the over on your Proline ticket. Steve Ditta, Kyle Miobertallo and John Zanon with the 2 goals each for the winners who climb into the hunt of a jam-packed Junior division points race. Tough night defensively for the Hawks but they will be back on the ice all week preparing for their next matchup. Spare callup Shawn Rafacz scored 2 goals in a losing cause.

BRUINS 5 FLYERS 4: This game saw more ups and downs than the Pamela Anderson stolen sex tapes. 5 different players tallied for the Bruins while 4 separate players scored for the Flyers. These teams couldn’t be more similar. Their powerplay are both potent with absolute meat bombs from their point men. I hope to see another great game from these 2 in the playoffs.

REDWINGS 5 PENGUINS 1: Redwings Steve “True” North was pretty strong and free all night long as he scored a hatty in a 5-1 win over the ice cold Penguins. The Pens ran out of ink after a fast start but the Redwings responded, and then some. 3 points separate the Redwings, Bruins and Flyers atop the standings so this win kept the wings on top by a slim 2 points. Huge crowd on hand for this one as the canteen was giving out free popcorn. Arena staff are lobbying to put a stop to this promotion after a 3 hour sweep up after the game… stay tuned.

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

PENGUINS 3 FLYERS 2: The Flyers had the Penguins right where they wanted them. Tied 2-2 late but they managed to lose with only 15 seconds remaining. All was positive in the Flyers locker room afterwards, however. Players allowed media in for the first time in 9 games to mull over their latest loss. Dean McLaren scored the game winner to send the Penguins faithful home happy. Stick tap to Flyers goaltender Alex Greychuck who played well enough for at least a point but Greychuck didn’t chuck wood even if Greychuck could chuck wood when talking about the loss to reporters. Ok enough of that.

CANADIENS 4 BLACKHAWKS 3: Canadiens power forward Bill “Alcan Aluminum” Foley rolled out the game winner in the final period to complete the comeback against the Hawks 4-3 while Jim Marentette added 3 assists to continue his strong play of late. Both the Hotrum kids ate 3 Cliff protein bars and guzzled a can of grape Fanta before the game. What a difference as they both scored highlight reel goals in a losing cause. These 2 pulled the team bus on this night but they just couldn’t muster a win. Good effort, fellas!

LEAFS 2 BRUINS 2: Bruins have ties 2 games in a row for the 2nd time this season. Might be a record but that’s not a stat anyone gives a care about so let’s carry on. In a penalty-filled game, both teams skated until their blades wore out. Both goalies showed how goalies can bend, making several miraculous saves between the pipes. Final shots were 39-36 for the Leafs as both teams fans went home happy with the one point. This is Bruins Wayne Sliwinski’s favourite time of year. Playoffs are looming, he is catching his stride and the goals are all going in. Opposition teams better wrap the net in pallet wrap if they want to top this guy, good grief…

MASTERS DIVISION:

REDWINGS 4 BLACKHAWKS 1: Redwings Ed Walton has a motor attached to his skates, I swear to god. This guy is a whirling dervish out there and scored another 2 goals to lead his team to a 4-1 triumph over the Hawks. Captain Bill Kircos held a players only meeting after this latest defeat. We heard a garbage can get thrown across the room followed by a can of beer opening. Watch out for these guys next game, I certainly wouldn’t want to be the team playing them!

KINGS 2 FLAMES 2: I actually picked a tie for this game on my Proline… Flames Frank “Raspberry” Jambrosich scored the goal of the game that brought the announced crowd of 4 to their feet. Actually one fan was on crutched so only one foot could only have pressure on it.

BRUINS 6 SHARKS 6: Wow, the ol’ barn doors were open all the way, the hinges even snapped away from the wall. Bruins had 2 short handed goals while Peter Subar had an above par game with a hatty while Sharks got a pair from Larry “Cable Guy” Litzgus. Litzgus continues to fill the net like Captain Highliner fills his every morning with boston blue fish. A goal and 3 assists for Danny DiGiacinto (de Mayo) took home the game puck. His dog put a huge bite into it but it will still be displayed on his mantle until the mrs is fed up of looking at it.

STARS 6 FLYERS 5: The late game saw a plethora (word of the week) of goals. Stars hung on to a 6-5 win as Dale “The Real Dale” Brons scored the eventual game winner. He finished the game with 2 goals and 2 Assist to continue his climb up the scoring leader list. Props to Stars Patrick “no leash” McAleese who scored a pair for the winners. Flyers Dave Armstrong carried the laundry for the Flyers and even put it all away, scoring 4 goals in a losing cause. This guy could score 50 goals on one leg with someone’s grandpas brown sock covering his eyes, I swear!

Well that’s all from this end of the ice. The end of the regular season is looming. Playoff action will ramp up as well as more national tv coverage. Some players are looking forward to the Superbowl Sunday week off to rest some lingering groin pulls and sore backs. Good luck this weekend, I am predicting you will have a great game….

Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA – January 1st, 2020

Business as Usual


SCOHA 2019/2020

I’m sure there’s a lot of players hanging like an olive today after last night’s festivities, but the SCOHA Blog Headquarters is business as usual. Some bigtime scorers came to the rink last week ready to bulldoze the opposition while others drove to the arena to give it a sporting chance despite a persistent cough with phlegm. Let’s roll back the game film and review a busy last week of action at the epicenter of adult hockey culture….

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This Week in SCOHA – December 28th, 2019

Holiday Egg Nog Edition


SCOHA 2019/2020

Well some players got the ultimate gift in a Peloton super exercise bike while others got the opposite: a soda pop machine and a 1 yard Mars bar. Those guys are dreading this weekend’s games, lugging around 8 extra pounds of Molson muscle mixed in with gravy and those tasteless small dinner rolls that go stale after 2 days. Anyways, let’s quickly unwrap last week’s SCOHA action from both end’s of the ice... Holiday Egg Nog Edition.

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This Week in SCHOHA- December 12th, 2019

Nothin' to do on a Friday night


SCOHA 2019/2020

Well fellas, we are plowing through the holiday season without any major incidents so far. Ed Walton’s tree has fallen down twice but he will realize soon enough that he needs a tree stand to make it stay upright. Junior Division teams had the week off so they are all chored out and ready to lace up their twirlers again this upcoming weekend. Let’s put a bow on the past week that was in Scoha City.

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This Week in SCOHA – December 3rd, 2019

Spare change? Spare change?


SCOHA 2019/2020

Has there ever been a goalie with 2 shutouts in one night? Bruins' Joe Locicero shut the front door, shutting out the Stars 2-0 then filled in for the Bruins as they folded up the Sharks like a used picnic blanket by a touchdown. Great night Joe!!!2 weeks ago we saw more spares than a 10-pin bowling tournament. This past Friday night Junior Division saw a few teams with plenty of leg room while getting changed due to guys missing but hey, it’s a busy time of year for most. I took in the Junior games Friday night and lemme tell ya, these guys can skate! Penguins got some help with a roster addition that should help. This new Ali Poshni kid has speed and can stickhandle around sidewalk ants for crying out loud. I saw a sign in the crowd that said “Poshni a Beer” so he is warming up to Penguin fans already… He was given hockey genes at an early age and I am not talking about the kind of genes you wrap a belt around. At any rate, let’s barge through the weekend that was in SCOHA.

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This Week in SCOHA – November 26th, 2019

Dream A Little Dream


SCOHA 2019/2020

We’re all still chasing the dream of hoisting the SCOHA Championship trophy. Division standings are getting tighter than a snare drum as we approach the Christmas break. More than half of us still don’t have the damn tree up yet while others had things up 3 weeks ago, have fun with that January hydro bill… My predictions I posted before last weeks games didn’t pan out as expected but as my good buddy Wayne once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take…” That aside, let’s untangle the week that was in Scohario…

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