THIS WEEK IN SCOHA – December 2nd, 2020

Well so much for that. I spent $199.00 for the SCOHA Centre Ice Package for my tv then Terry goes and announces the season is suspended. Had the popcorn and colas ready for opening night, too…. A big nothing burger to say the very least.

Well the Draft Night 2020 Extravaganza went off without a hitch. Gord Bryce took his usual half an hour for each selection, disobeying the egg timer dings all night but he eventually got the last laugh, assembling a Bruins squad only Don Cherry would love. Grit, skill and determination were his 3 key puzzle pieces in compiling his dream team.

The newly-named United Division looks liked a bag of all-dressed chips with all types of flavoured talent scattered amongst the 4 teams. Some bigtime SCOHAIANS made the tough call to opt out for the season, more importantly master’s puck wizard Guy Shaver. Little does he know, his wife actually sent the email. Guy has been over at the arena shoveling the parking lot thinking we are starting up again this Sunday. Since his tent got thrown in the back of a garbage truck down at City Hall this week while hanging out with the protesters, he remains optimistic we will get this season up and running soon. Let’s give the arena skate sharpening kid some appreciation. He’s spent most of his lonely nights at the rink with the sharpener still on making cool sparks for something to do. Sticks might be increased to $800 each if and when we get back to the regular norm.. As of right now, there are more cases than the Hamilton Airport luggage carousel in our city. No one has a clue when we will lace up the twirlers again. I don’t know about you but I can’t wait for those damn chicken wings up at the Lounge…. Master’s Chris Barratto is using this off-time wisely. He set up a synthetic basement rink and is practicing his wrist shots nightly with his cat in net. His white cat is now a black one. Last we heard, Chris’s beard has officially reached his knees. Other than that, it’s been pretty dull without hockey. Everyone has watched all of Netflix twice, we are volunteering to do the dishes, and the damn lights have been up since November 8th. Keep positive, fellas. Barring any court challenges or recounts, we all hope to get back to the rink real soon. Classic hockey line of the year from legendary Edmonton broadcaster Cecil “Tiger” Goldstick, “If they played this game in my backyard, I would’ve closed the drapes”…  Chris Marttila