Well folks, the small Coffee Crisp ones are still the best chocolate bars from that mixed box, not up for discussion.

United Division:

Flyers 2 Leafs 1: Mike Rostecki scored the go-ahead goal back in the first period that held up as the game winner as the orange guys snuck past the Leafs 2-1 in a fast-paced game. Adam Briggs scored the other Flyers goal while Devin “will you close the damn window, it’s” Friesen replied for the Leafs, who sit in 3rd place with a 1-3 record. Plenty of time to go over some game film and get the train back on the tracks. Thanks to Zack Denham for filling in for Darren O’Brien in net for the Flyers. The Flyers aren’t accustomed to being a 2nd place team. They are currently 1 point back of the Bruins going into this weekend’s action.

Blackhawks 4 Bruins 4: Premium unfiltered entertainment as this game was the Cable14 Game of the Week. I even broke out the dill seasoning for my popcorn! Joe “shoeless joe” Shulist dropped a deuce and Dave “have” Mercer and Ron Cybalski added singles as the Hawks gained a valuable point with a 4-4 draw with the Bruins. Braden Lapointe, Jordan Campbell, Ben Alexander and Jason Aguanno rounded out the Bruins scoring in a definite playoff atmosphere. Fans stuck around afterwards to get a glimpse of their SCOHA heroes before they piled into their respective team buses.

Masters Division:

Bruins 5 Sharks 2: In a battle atop the Masters standings, it was the Bruins who came out on top 5-2 against a spirited Sharks team. Chris Scott had a can of Jolt Cola before the game then went out there and scored a hatty for the winning side. He took all 3 hats thrown onto the ice home, washed them, then returned them to their rightful owners. Definite early frontrunner to SCOHA Sportsman of the Year. Sharks had goals from Alfonso Tinebra and Bill “aluminum food grade” Foley in a losing cause. Bill is heavily invested in this team. He still runs a vhs machine to review game film and refuses to use ai to set his weekly lines. He is starting to get his game back up to par. His strides are smoother than a warm bowl of Ukranian cabbage and onion soup with lightly toasted triangles on the side.

Senators 2 Leafs 2: League newcomer Francois “from the far away remote town of” Jubinville scored his 2nd of the game with 7:51 left to ensure a 2-2 tie against a pesky Senator team looking to make a jump in the standings now. Some Chris Marttila guy and Brock Hotrum provided the goals for the Sens who at 1 win, 2 losses and tie, feel like they can bring more to the dinner table. They have a huge game this Sunday against the Bruins at 5:45, bring the kids. The Senators held Marc “taco” Bellhumeur in tacr for the most part. He assisted on the Leafs first goal but that was about it. Leaf rookie Steve Weddum played like his girl was up in the crowd, showing several speed bursts and quick puck-handling out there. Caught more than a few eyes with a strong game. Thankjs to Sandro Morrone for filling in for the Senators in net! Always appreciated, Sandro!

Grand Masters:

Stars 7 Sharks 3: Sharks Fred Doucette had his first 2-goal game since his impressive 1982-83 season with the Muskoka Murder Hornets of the Cheese Toast Hockey League but it wasn’t enough as the Stars blasted them 7-3 in front of an announced crowd of 8. 6 different players lit the lamp for the Stars while league newbie Leonard Lalonde subbed in for Brag Ballman in net. Nathan “your eyes are a bit droopy, better get some” Seepersaud chipped in with 3 assists for the winners while Sharks Guy “4-blade dual powered Remington” Shaver scored possibly the best goal of this early season so far.

Bruins 3 Blackhawks 2: Alastair Kermack scored the game winner with 7:13 left as the Bruins escaped with a 3-2 victory over the Blackhawks. Despite missing Terry “hitman” Hughes, the Bruins pivoted and showed everyone they are here to win it all, nothing else. Have fun yes, but lifting the damn cup at the end means more to them. Bruins Paul Buzzelli is looking to make a youthful impact on this veteran Bruin team. So far he has fit in well. Injuries are always a concern but he seems to be playing well of late. Blackhawks GM and captain Bill Kircos is looking not hit the reset button after an 0-3 start to the season. He told reporters after this game he is willing to do handstands while drinking Twisted Teas before heading out to the rink in search of his team’s first win.

Kraken 4 Flyers 0: Brian Deanes turned aside 24 shots for the 8-grain toasted bagel as the Kraken bullied the Flyers 4-0. Mike “12-string acoustic” Guitard skated like a deer out there, recording a goal and adding 2 hamburger helpers for a Kraken team looking to make an impact in a Grand Masters division that sees three teams tied for the lead with 6 points and a Flyer team only 2 points back looking to hang out with the leaders. Kraken veteran Rob Harrison played his 900th game, passing Borje Salming in that category. Congrats Rob! Stick tap to the guys sparing for the Flyers each week as they search for some players to fill out their roster. We will be posting an ad for players this week, fingers crossed!

PREMIUM PLUS TOOL PLAYERS OF THE WEEK:

UNITED: Joe Shulist  

MASTERS: Chris Scott  

GRAND MASTERS: Fred Doucette  

Well that’s all from this end of the ice. Have a great rest of the week, fellas. Masters and Grand Masters play this weekend then have a weekend off. United will play a double-dipper next Friday and Sunday. Great, fast hockey if you want to wander over Sunday and check it out!

Chris Marttila

SCOHA cub reporter

Ok, maybe the fans are not coming out in droves but at least some are coming out to watch our games. With illnesses and minor injuries starting to circulate amongst teams, the next guy must step up. We all know what we have to do.

Well folks, this week’s scribe will be a bit shorter as this fella deals with an eye infection that I didn’t see coming. Going to skip the small talk and get right to it. By the way, whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, you will be found. You have my Word…

Welcome back for another season, folks! We lifted the lid on the 84th season this past weekend and welcomed over 30 new players to the league! Arena corridors reeked of knee ointments all night, was good to be back.. Remember, this blog only goes by what’s on the game sheets. No emailing me saying you scored 3 instead of 2.

Well folks, here's a peeled back edition of everyone's favourite blog before we start eating more vegetables and rolled oats to shave down the 18lbs gained over the summer. For those filling my inbox asking when the draft will be, the answer is Sept.17 for United and Sept.21 for Masters and Grand Masters.

Bill "food grade aluminum" Foley has signed a lucrative deal to become the new GM and owner of Masters Sharks. Bill spent the better part of 6 seasons as a 4th line grinder for the Nipigon Elks before making the leap to Scoha. while Mike Vanderzee negotiated a deal to take over as Grand Masters Stars rep with an option for a 2nd year depending on the team's performance and if his team decides to listen to him. Mike brings a steady diet of skill and exuberance from his days as a gristed winger for the Lethbridge Bonnets of the now defunct Alberta Iron League.

Overall, we have a bunch of new Scohaiians joining the league. A revamped marketing plan and word of mouth spearheaded the mass recruitment which will more than offset some players that jumped ship to other leagues. We thank those players leaving for their time in Scoha and hope to cross paths again down the road.

Last i heard, United is full and there are only a few spots open for Masters and Grand Masters. Spread the word if you know of any players that haven't registered yet or want to join. Team reps have already started building their spreadsheets for the draft, should be another exciting year! Enjoy the last bit of summer and see you all soon.

Chris Marttila

Blog guy