Well folks, this week’s scribe will be a bit shorter as this fella deals with an eye infection that I didn’t see coming. Going to skip the small talk and get right to it. By the way, whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, you will be found. You have my Word…

United Division:

Bruins 4 Flyers 1: Look out for the deadly combination of dual-snipers Jordan Campbell and Jadon Aguanno as they plan on tearing up the United Division one game at a time. Jordan tucked a pair and Jadon added a beauty as the Bruins beat the Flyers 4-1. This Bruin roster is as steady as a versatile floor lamp and we are only 2 weeks in for crying out loud. Good start, fellas. Flyers lone goal was scored by Kyle Jackson who had a few chances but managed to bury one in the loss. Kyle is a model of consistency, we should all mirror our game after him.

Leafs 3 Blackhawks 0:

Peter DeNew turned aside 23 shots for the 12-grain lightly toasted bagel with cream cheese as the Leafs shut out the Hawks 3-0 in front of an announced crowd of 5. Resiliency was the hallmark of this Leaf victory and they plan on carrying on their hard work going forward. John “I smell smoke, we better all get out of the” Carvalho, Jesse Dunham and Steven Ross scored for the Leafs who redeemed themselves after a tough opening week loss.  

Masters Division:

Bruins 4 Senators 2: Shades of last year’s championship as the Bruins edge the Sens, this time 4-2. Rookie Steve “hickory, dickery” Ecker scored his 1st of his SCOHA career while Wayne Sliwinski, Richard Forseter and Al Herron picked up insurance goals. Sens were short 3 guys including their star goalkeeper but in this league you have to be ready for every game regardless. Bruins played a solid defensive game. Bruins ownership spared no expense in building a defensive team this year to win now. Watch out for these guys, you heard it here first. Paul Courville scored his first goal since the winter of 82 and some Chris guy also scored for the Sens in a losing cause.

Sharks 5 Leafs 1: Sharks are all set. Even with Marc Bellhumeur back in the Leafs lineup, he can’t do it all. Terry Lee lit the lamp twice as the Sharks took a bite out of the Leafs 5-1. I had +6.5 on my Proline ticket so that was toast. Newcomer Martin Lebeau (I think it translates to Marty Good) scored his 1st of the year and SCOHA career while Alfonso Tinebra and Marc Ayotte also chipped in for the guys in teal. Bellhumeur had the lone Leaf goal. Stick tap to Sharks goaltender Bruno is looking to win goalie of the year. He spent the offseason stopping tennis balls inside an emptied out swimming pool for better coordination. Keep a keen eye on Bruno, he is locked in.

Grand Masters Division:

Bruins 4 Sharks 2: Alastair Kermack takes the stairs all the time and it is certainly paying dividends out on the ice. His two goals propelled the Bruins to a big 4-2 win over the Sharks. Al Angelone and “new years” Yves Bisson also scored for the winners. Steve Kivell (all-around nice guy) and Dave Jarvis (nice guy but Steve is nicer) replied for the Sharks. I spoke candidly with Sharks GM Ron Cooper after the game and he said Gord “magic” Johnson is playing extremely well. He has made the turn in his career and can only get better from here. Good to hear, Gord is a great player on and off the ice. Bruins player/coach Gord Bryce admitted postgame that maybe grape jelly meatballs aren’t cutting it for a pre-game meal. He might switch things up next game. Stay tuned.

Flyers 3 Stars 0: I watched this game on Sportsnet+ and both “gladiators of the guarded gondolas” played well in their respective goal creases. Brad Ballman and Joe DeFaria played very well but one team had to win. Stars scored 2 empty netters, that’s how close this game actually was. In the end it was DeFaria with the shutout, the 42nd of his illustrious career. All 3 Flyer goals were scored by spares: Terry Gudgeon, Kevin “driveway” Seyler and Alastair Kermack. Great game to watch, guys!

Kraken 6 Blackhawks 5: Mike “6-string acoustic” Guitard strummed the right tune as he scored a hatty to lift the Kraken to a crazy 6-5 win over the Hawks. Andrew Horwath, rookie Dave Stinson and Walter “8 slice pepperoni” Domingos also scored for the Kraken. Lee Paule dropped a deuce for the Hawks and singles went to Ed Venema, Stan “from the far away land of” Breznicar and Kelly Rintjema also scored for the Hawks in a losing cause. Felt bad for the goalies in this one. Players are getting bigger by the day so it’s tough to navigate through the bodies in front of them. Last time I played goalie I had sponge pads on when I was a youth playing ball hockey on the street til the streetlights came on.

PREMIUM PLUS TOOL PLAYERS OF THE WEEK:

UNITED: Jadon Aguanno  

MASTERS: Terry Lee  

GRAND MASTERS: Mike Guitard  

 

Well that’s all from this end of the ice. Have a great Thanksgiving, fellas. See you in another week. Plenty of season left for those teams slow out of the gate. To those couple guys nursing some bumps and bruises already, get healed up soon! Individual stats will be posted shortly, just remember I can only document what was written on the game sheets.

Chris Marttila

SCOHA Blog guy

Welcome back for another season, folks! We lifted the lid on the 84th season this past weekend and welcomed over 30 new players to the league! Arena corridors reeked of knee ointments all night, was good to be back.. Remember, this blog only goes by what’s on the game sheets. No emailing me saying you scored 3 instead of 2.

Well folks, here's a peeled back edition of everyone's favourite blog before we start eating more vegetables and rolled oats to shave down the 18lbs gained over the summer. For those filling my inbox asking when the draft will be, the answer is Sept.17 for United and Sept.21 for Masters and Grand Masters.

Bill "food grade aluminum" Foley has signed a lucrative deal to become the new GM and owner of Masters Sharks. Bill spent the better part of 6 seasons as a 4th line grinder for the Nipigon Elks before making the leap to Scoha. while Mike Vanderzee negotiated a deal to take over as Grand Masters Stars rep with an option for a 2nd year depending on the team's performance and if his team decides to listen to him. Mike brings a steady diet of skill and exuberance from his days as a gristed winger for the Lethbridge Bonnets of the now defunct Alberta Iron League.

Overall, we have a bunch of new Scohaiians joining the league. A revamped marketing plan and word of mouth spearheaded the mass recruitment which will more than offset some players that jumped ship to other leagues. We thank those players leaving for their time in Scoha and hope to cross paths again down the road.

Last i heard, United is full and there are only a few spots open for Masters and Grand Masters. Spread the word if you know of any players that haven't registered yet or want to join. Team reps have already started building their spreadsheets for the draft, should be another exciting year! Enjoy the last bit of summer and see you all soon.

Chris Marttila

Blog guy