This Week in SCOHA – December 3rd, 2019

Has there ever been a goalie with 2 shutouts in one night? Bruins' Joe Locicero shut the front door, shutting out the Stars 2-0 then filled in for the Bruins as they folded up the Sharks like a used picnic blanket by a touchdown. Great night Joe!!!2 weeks ago we saw more spares than a 10-pin bowling tournament. This past Friday night Junior Division saw a few teams with plenty of leg room while getting changed due to guys missing but hey, it’s a busy time of year for most. I took in the Junior games Friday night and lemme tell ya, these guys can skate! Penguins got some help with a roster addition that should help. This new Ali Poshni kid has speed and can stickhandle around sidewalk ants for crying out loud. I saw a sign in the crowd that said “Poshni a Beer” so he is warming up to Penguin fans already… He was given hockey genes at an early age and I am not talking about the kind of genes you wrap a belt around. At any rate, let’s barge through the weekend that was in SCOHA.

JUNIOR DIVISION:

FLYERS 4 PENGUINS 2: Flyers Mike Haslam had an Instagrammable game, scoring a pair of goals while Bob Howarth wripped home his first of the season as the Flyers wrote off the Pens 4-2. Attendance was 2 and I was one of them. Penguins Glenn Rouse scored his 3rd goal in 5 games since he signed a lucrative mid-season contract that will carry through the 2024-25 season barring any unforeseen circumstances. Rouse brings a Boston Bruins style of play to the rink each week. He goes into more corners than a vacuum attachment and carries 4 grit sandpaper each shift. Off the ice, he will stick around until the beers are all gone so no one has to carry full ones home. Spoke to Flyers defenceman Blaine “Bringer of Rain” Betzold at the rink before the game and sure enough he scored a Rick Vaive clapper from the left side for a beauty. Headlines in the Scoha news this morning read “ALL BETZ ARE OFF” as he scored his 1st of the season to go alongside an industrial size bag of assists.

OILERS 3 REDWINGS 0: Spare goalie Tim “Miami” Vissor stole this game for the Oilers, turning aside 39 shots to preserve the shutout, 3-0 over the red hot Redwings. Arena staff are still sweeping up all the losing Proline tickets after this one. Charlie Polizzi was all over the place like a squirrel under a black walnut tree, scoring twice and adding a helper for the player of the game. Once the puck dried, the Redwings packed up the bus disappointed in their play but will get a few practices in this upcoming week, go over some game tape, and will be ready for next week.

BRUINS 8 BLACKHAWKS 3: Bruins Kirk Blancher was Scory McScoreface with a hattrick as the Bruins gave the Hawks a slap in the wrist and sent them to their rooms after an 8-3 win. Hawk players on the bench had a look on their faces like they just stepped into a cold shower. They had no answers for their lopsided loss but in all fairness, they were missing 4 key players but the Bruins pulled the ripcord early and ran away with this one. Greg Lintott unwrapped a beauty of a goal for his 1st of the season while spare goalie James Fielding impressed many in the nets for the winning side. Hawks Nick Troback tallied twice in a losing cause but still took the pink copy of the game sheet home for the side of the fridge.

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

BLACKHAWKS 4 BRUINS 2: Hawks spun the Bruins around like laundry, beating them 4-2 and they celebrated until early hours of the night. These guys are turning their season around. Captain Dave Langille is as cool as the other side of the pillow. He has shown no panic through this tough start of the season and remained positive for the most part. Jeff Davis lit the proverbial lamp twice for the Hawks who are out of last place for the first time since before the season started. Brock Hotrum added 3 assists as he continues his pre-game tradition of eating a bacon portobello mushroom melt. He said “if it’s not about melty cheese, savoury mushrooms and crispy applewood smoked bacon, then it’s just a distraction.” Great game fellas!

CANADIENS 4 FLYERS 2: The dismal season continues for the Flyers. Their propeller is broken, they can’t fly. This time out, a 4-2 defeat to the hands of Les Habitants. Dennis “Hardy Har” Haradyn scored the eventual game winner on an absolute bardown ding dong for the Canadiens, who continue their winning ways. Bill Templeman simply did Bill Templeman things in the crease. And after the game, he always has time to to sign a puck for the yutes.

PENGUINS 5 LEAFS 0: The Leafs offered up a concrete assessment of this game by simply telling reporters they were short guys. 6 skaters just isn’t going to cut it in this day and age. 5 different players scored for the Penguins. Ken “Starsky” Hutchinson got the game puck after his goal and 2 assist night. He has it hanging off his tree for the time being..

MASTERS DIVISION:

FLYERS 2 STARS 0: As previously mentioned, Joe “The Iron Blocker” Locicero foiled the Stars 2-0 with 37 saves on the night. Robert Jacobs scored both goals for the Flyers who earned a valuable point as we near the halfway point of the season. Stars Dale Brons was a dirtbike out there, but found himself out of the game and digging into the sliced oranges early…

FLAMES 5 KINGS 2: The Flames are uh-humm burning up the league. Points in 4 out of their last 5 as they got past the Kings 5-2. Ghislain Piche tossed the puck around like a frisbee all night, scoring a hatty for the winning side. This looks like a young Joe Nieuwendyk out there with the Flames #25. I can see a great career ahead for this guy, you heard it here first…

REDWINGS 4 BLACKHAWKS 1: Hawks have lost 2 straight games, what is this world coming to? John Hewitt scored the game winner as the Redwings won 4-1. The Wings are spicy hot lately, recording at least a point in 3 straight games as they continue to climb the ranks. 8 separate players got a point in this one as they dominated the Hawks from the drop of the puck. Ed “Cow Jumped Over The” Mooney played like Terry Sawchuk out there, turning away 43 shots for the win.

BRUINS 7 SHARKS 0: As Howie Meeker often shouted, “Golly Gee Willikers!” … That’s what was heard often from the sellout crowd as Joe Locicero recorded another shutout while subbing in for the Bruins. Troy from the island of Izlakar and Mark Gillis both scored a pair of goals for the B’s while Peter Subar added 3 apples for the winners. Are these guys going to lose a game any time soon? Good grief.

Well that puts a bow on another week of SCOHA action. This week is fast approaching as more teams are starting to find their groove as they hope to continue to climb the ladder while others are getting sick of 2 a day workouts and hours of game film. Have a great rest of the week, gang! And remember… keep your stick on the ice.

 

Chris Marttila