This Week in SCOHA – November 15th, 2019

Now that the driveway is shoveled, we have a couple days days to get the feeling back in our knees and backs. It’s time for some light bathroom reading as we pile up some mountains… of snow that is… from the week that was in SCOHA….

JUNIOR DIVISION:

BRUINS 3 REDWINGS 1: Kyle Tunis sandwiched a pair of 2nd period goals as his Bruins put a screeching halt to the Redwings 5 game winning streak with a 3-1 win. Bruins' Peter Thompkins stuck around after the game to sign autographs and tell old SCOHA stories to the many kids who can only dream of one day being a SCOHA hero!

OILERS 9 PENGUINS 4: If you are into stats like yours truly, you will notice the Oilers have started the season with a win, 2 losses, a win, 2 losses, a win, 2 losses. So fittingly, the Oilers won. They folded up the Penguins like grandma’s napkin and only used the corner to dab their mouth. 7 different scorers bulged the twine as the Bruins couldn’t solve a potent Oilers attack. Mike Czepita and Alfonso Tinebra both dropped a deuce for the winning side while Penguins Andrew Fedoruk had a pair in a losing cause. The Penguins are already looking forward to this weekend. They have reviewed miles of game film and I am calling it right now, they will win.

FLYERS 4 BLACKHAWKS 2: The Flyers are rolling, folks. 3 straight w’s, this time, a 4-2 win over the Hawks as Ryan Haslam has us all wondering how this guy doesn’t have a hockey skills dvd on the shelves at Blockbuster. 23 points in 10 games, are you kidding me? Both teams came out of their locker rooms like a cork out of a champagne bottle ready to play this one. Doug Moulton scored the eventual game winner. Moulton is the kind of guy who will shovel everyone’s sidewalk even though you are peeking through the corner of the drapes in your living room all warm with your lights turned off. He saw you but he doesn’t mind, he shoveled anyway.

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

PENGUINS 7 FLYERS 3: Mike Leblanc was the player of the game. Gary from Canadian Tire even took off one of his Team Canada knitted mittens to shake his hand afterwards. 3 goals and an assist later, the Pens folded up the Flyers, like a fitted sheet that no guy knows how to do right, by a score of 7-3. Bob Tenison, the perennial point producer, was all over the place like a moth on a porchlight once again, controlling the play the way he does each and every week. Some Chris Marttila guy scored 2 goals for the Flyers but he is just doing his job to put food on the table. Flyers season is turning pear-shaped but they hope to have their injured players back soon. They promise to be back like a vertebrae come playoff time to make a solid run at the cup..

LEAFS 5 BRUINS 4: Allan “Great Blue” Herron reeled in 2 goals and added an assist as the Leafs held off the Bruins 5-4 in front of a sold out crowd of 7. Steve Cromwell had the saucer pass down pat, adding a pair of assists for the winners. Tim Pettit keeps truckin’ on, scoring 2 goals in a losing cause. This guy is the glue for this Bruin team and is a fly in the slaw for the opposition who use most of their energy trying to slow him down. He is going to go far in this league, just you wait and see….

CANADIENS 5 BLACKHAWKS 4: Bill “Aluminum” Foley wrapped up the Blackhawks and put them in the fridge for later. 4 assists later, he was up at the bar smiling like he slept with a hanger in his mouth after his team broke the hearts of many Hawk fans. Make the final 5-4. Steve Boschman with a “pear” (pardon the fruit pun) and 2 assists for the winners while Brock and Conrad Hotrum both had a goal and an assist for the Hawks. Thanks for trying, Conrad lol

MASTERS DIVISION:

KINGS 4 STARS 2: Kings had 2 goals from #44 whoever that was, as the Kings handed the Stars their 4th straight defeat 4-2 as seen on Sportsnet’s Hometown Hockey telecast. Tony Vastano also had a pair for the Kings who got off to a tough start to the season but are saving their bullets fr the 2nd half of the season. Goaltender Scott Johnson saved the day out there for the Kings. Rumour has it, between whistles,  he went and caught all the chairs that girl threw over the damn balcony in Toronto. He even stacked them neatly and put them on the elevator to go back up without complaining. Stars had a pair of goals from Dale Brons, who has a multi-layered story so far this season. He played defence to start the year but is now up on forward and is ready to climb the point standings. He had defencemen spinning like flapjacks on a ferris wheel with 2 highlight reel goals in a losing cause, but still.

SHARKS 3 FLAMES 1: This Nick Misconi guy, go out and get his SCOHA rookie card before it sky rockets in value. Did anyone see his goal? The Sharks have now peeled away 2 straight wins and Misconi is going to help keep this puck rolling. He starts running the race as soon as the gun sounds. Don’t get me started about Downtown Lenny Brown, who patrols the Sharks' blueline like Sig Hansen from Deadliest Catch. He sticks around after each and every game to sign autographs and even gives the Fonz double-thumbs up for the kids. Makes them laugh every time.

BLACKHAWKS 4 FLYERS 1: Tymen Edelkoort is having a season like Mike Palmateer did in 78’. You need a screwdriver with a gooseneck to get anything in behind him. Blackhawks win this one 4-1 over a depleted Flyer lineup that is missing their big cheese Dave Armstrong who is recovering from injury. Kelly Rintjema lost his map to the rink, missing a second straight game. Let’s raise our glass to Hawks Robert DiGiovanni, who has the best homemade pre-game meal out of anyone. Our 3 cans of red bull have nothing on this guy’s energy out there. Arena crews are scurrying to replace divots made from his skates when he excellerates. Robert had a hatty for the winning side who haven’t lost since week 3 for crying out loud.

BRUINS 4 REDWINGS 2: The coleman stove ran out of propane. Redwings had the Bruins right where they wanted them but just ran out of gas in a 4-2 los to the high flying Bruins. Troy from the island of Izlakar spearheaded the win for the B’s who are playing a lot like the 85 Oilers. A well-oiled machine thanks to GM Gord Bryce, who drafted a team mixed with grit, perseverance, and skill. Oh.. and a few guys that keep the dressing room laughing. Bruins P.K. Subar and Eric “Gimme A” Sippel also chipped in with a pair of assists for the win.

Well this puts a bow on another week of frantic SCOHA action. Stick tap to the ladies working the shenanigans upstairs to reload the calories for us after our game! And can that guy in the kitchen make any bad food? Does he spin the pizza up in the air? Ask them to add bacon to your pizza and nachos for a few bucks and you will thank me later… friendly tip.

Sorry for the delay in posting this blog, I know “you people” like reading this earlier in the week but my week was nuttier than a five pound fruitcake. Rest up, fellas, another full slate of games are quickly approaching…

Chris Marttila