This Week in SCOHA – Nov. 27th, 2018


Another weekend in the books as the SCOHA season starts to ramp up, just in time for everyone to gain 12 pounds over the holidays. Junior Blackhawks are the hottest team right now, having won 4 straight and with a few ties before that, haven’t tasted defeat since Oct.12th for crying out loud. These guys are hotter than Judy Jetson right now. On the flipside, Junior Redwings are getting their losing streak out of the way before 2019 comes, dropping 5 in a row but are keeping it fun in the room. Keep an eye on Intermediate Bruins who are all having pre-game naps after a sluggish start. They are now inching closer to the logjam in the standings. Masters Kings won 5 straight but have a loss and a tie in their past 2. Intermediate standings see 4 points separating 1st to 5th, just bananas!

 

JUNIOR DIVISION:

BRUINS 5 OILERS 2: In a rematch of the 1990 Stanley Cup Final, the Bruins, led by Kirk “All Work” Blancher’s 2 goals, clawed past the Oilers 5-2. Andrew Clark was all over the game sheet with a goal and 3 assists for the winners. Oilers were missing their leading scorer, Mark Powell and 3 others which explained their power outage. Oilers have dropped 2 straight but refuse to hit the panic button. Oilers Dennis Haradyn post game, “We were missing a lot of guys, we are as tired as a pair of dentures after a cold buffet. Hopefully we will have a full team next week and get this back on track.” Steve Ditta fired home his 10th of the season in a losing cause.

 

BLACKHAWKS 6 PENGUINS 3: Someone call the damn fire department because hawks’ Ron Cybalski is on fire. 2 goals gives him 19 on the year as his team doubled up the Penguins 6-3. Legend has it, Ron got pulled over for driving with his head out the sunroof. He didn’t realize it, told the cop sorry, I was sitting on all my highlight dvd’s . He got off without a ticket. Hawks were missing 4 players but they sucked back some Jolt cola’s, went out there and got the job done. Game sheet said Penguins #24 had 2 assists so whoever you are, good game.

 

FLYERS 4 REDWINGS 1: Redwings were short 7 guys!!! Stick tap to Dino LaPorta (Backyarda) who subbed in. Must’ve been the Hallmark Christmas movies that kept half the team away. At any rate, Flyers win 4-1 and they were missing 4 guys. Doug Moulton was red hot, tallying 3 assists while Dave Holmes on Holmes scored a beauty for the Flyers. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Walter Blagdon sniped his 19th of the year. This guy took his hands off the handlebars this season and it riding roughshot over every goalie in the league. His new nickname is the Bulldozer, you saw it here first, kids.

 

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

CANADIENS 7 PENGUINS 4: Cheers to Mike Norman who notched his first 2 points of the season. Now everybody knows his name. (Bad Cheers tv pun). Mike Miscio had a few Red Bulls in the room then went out there and scored a hatty to lift the Habs to a 7-4 victoire over the Penguino’s. Paul Allain celebrated his 9th and 10th goals of the season but it wasn’t enough. Pens were missing workhorse Dave Armstrong, who trenches through the muck game in and game out. Call him the bus driver, and he loads up the gear for the team.

 

LEAFS 7 BLACKHAWKS 3: Leafs Guy Romeo hopped the glass to celebrate his 1st of the season while Bob Tenison continues his hall of fame season with 4 more goals as the Leafs folded up the Blackhawks like a used picnic blanket. Tension now has 16 goals while defenceman Paul McGraw can see the game from back home in his living room. You want to play a tough game, he can bring it too. He says get off his lawn, you better get the hell off his lawn. Miss having him on our team. Hawks’ Scott Maki scored his 1st of the year. Hope he got the game puck.

 

BRUINS 6 FLYERS 3: Someone tipped over the outhouse, there were some snarkiness out there with a steady parade to the penalty box. Bruins’ newcomer Randy Roubus loomed large on the blueline. Flyers didn’t mail this one in because the mailman was still on strike. Bruins’ Wayne Slewinski said screw the subtle complexity of the game and took the bull by the horns, scored 2 goals, added a helper, went into the corners like there was only one slice of bacon left at a truck stop diner, and got his team fired up for the win. Flyers’ Glenn “Goodfella” Mannella spoke to media after the game,” Well we let them control the game, that’s usually our job. Coach Wichman canceled our day off tomorrow so we aren’t looking forward to a hard practice.”

 

MASTERS DIVISION:

BLACKHAWKS 2 SHARKS 2: Some fans said this one was as exciting as a cauliflower crust pizza. Not many chances out there as the defencemen played tighter than a jar of peanut butter at a squirrel convention. Hawks’ Len “Downtown” Brown saucered a pass across the ice for a highlight reel goal and Jim Albanese also feathered a pass 48 feet in the air for a key assist in the game. 4 minors for the Hawks who must’ve like chatting up the time keeper.

 

STARS 8 REDWINGS 2: Holy Mackinaw! Pro Stars cereal was the pre game meal as the Stars, led by captain Chris “Meet Me at the” Baratto scored a mid-air Savardian spin-o-rama for a possible goal of the year candidate. Rode his stick back to the faceoff dot like Tiger Williams afterwards. Larry Hot Mitts” Litzgus had a hatty and 2 assists and Tony Montgomery had 3 apples for the winners. Wing’s Bob “No Panic” Turanic lit the lamp twice in a losing cause.

 

BRUINS 5 FLYERS 2: Bruins’ John “Just get in the” Carvalho scored 3 amazing goals and Alastair Kermack (and cheese) added his 10th of the season as the Bruins took care of the Flyers like Rosie O’Donnell on a tray of éclairs. Dale Brons set up 2 goals for the B’s while Bill Pauhl with an h scored a dandy for the Flyers.

 

FLAMES 5 KINGS 3: Jay Anderson (no relation to Pam) scored 3 and now sits at 10 for the year and Bob Tiranic added a goal and 4 assists as the Flames ran rampage over the Kings. Joe “Thank you Very” Muchynski tallied twice for the Kings while his netminder,  Joe DeFaria,  received a minor for throwing his stick. Anyone catch the distance on that toss? We will have to catch up with Joe for his thoughts on how that all unfolded.

 

Well that’s all from this end of the ice. Back to untangling these damn lights....

 

Chris Marttila

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