This Week in SCOHA – November 15th, 2022

For starters we need to tell the kids to stop banging on the glass in warmups with signs saying they want a signed Terry Gudgeon stick. This is getting right out of control and I raise the motion to stop this immediately, if not sooner. Anyways, tons of scoring this past weekend. Compiling the player stats was impossible, like trying to get Pavarotti into a wet suit. Anyways, let’s unpeel the onion from this past weekend’s action.

 

UNITED DIVISION:

FRI.NOV.11TH:

SHARKS 8 BRUINS 7: For these 2 goalies, the puck was smaller than a Nyquil cup. 15 goals and the City of Hamilton are still up on the damn ladders replacing the red bulb above the nets. Bruins were cruising along with a 5-1 lead before the wheels fell off the wagon. Next thing you know, they are loading up the bus and going home after an 8-7 loss. Justin Mol and Mark Powel both scored a pair for the Sharks while Brock Hotrum dropped a deuce for the Bruins. Highly entertaining game if you like offence but if your dad is Larry Robinson, one of the best defencemen of all time, you were banging your head against the wall.

SUN.NOV.13TH:

OILERS 4 BLACKHAWKS 4: hawks Marc Poulin was all over the damn place and even kept his tradition of filling the bench garbage can with his dinner going. Hey Marc, maybe re-think the kielbasa and cabbage soup next game. Marc scored a pair as the Hawks rallied to tie the slippery Oilers 4-4. Poulin played an integral part in the Quesnel Millionaires championship team back in 73’. His versatility isn’t shown on the back of his O-Pee Chee hockey card but is well noticed by his fellow teammates. This could very well have been the Pepto Bismol Upset of the Week but the Oilers went home with the single point. They will take it. Rick “Clickity” Clark tallied twice for the Oil and Dennis Klander scored. Both players registering their first goals of the season. Hawks Rob “don’t call me William” Bili also scored his first of the season. Lots of game pucks grabbed for the mantels before the wife takes it down in place of garland and fake red berries this weekend.

SHARKS 3 FLYERS 1: Didn’t get this one right on my Proline ticket. Upset Alert, the Sharks took a bit out of the Flyers 3-1. Ryan Haslam was a late scratch as he was too attached to the Christmas Baking Challenge on the Food channel. It was something about the green fondant on the cupcakes that kept his eyes glued to the tv set. Good thing his dad Mike didn’t stop by before the game, he scored the lone Flyer goal in the loss. Sharks got a strong game from Darren O’Brien who turned away 36 shots for the win. Newcomer Branden Lapointe scored twice for the winners. Fudge Cromwell had 8 backhand saucer passes on the night, a personal best. Huge win for the boys in teal.

BRUINS 5 CANADIENS 3: Bruins Devin Friesen was seen signing jerseys and hats after the game in the parking lot after he scored a monumental 1st goal of the season. Captain Crunch Wayne Sliwinski scored a pair for the B’s who got past the Habs 5-3 in a penalty-filled game. Alan “pickled” Herron scored a beauty of a goal for the winning side and apparently one of the 4 fans watching took a photo of his celebration. If that person could forward it to Alan, it would be greatly appreciated. Bill “Reynolds Wrap” Foley tucked home another 2 goals for the Habs. Does this guy have 3 red bulls before each game? Good grief.

MASTERS DIVISION:

FRI.NOV.11TH:

BRUINS 3 REDWINGS 2: Ok, Gord Bryce has his Bruins team playing some aggressive hockey lately and it’s starting to show in the standings. A big 3-2 win over their arch-rival Redwings thanks to a game-winner by veteran leader Dennis “Ernie” Whitwell. Steve Horner returned to action and did his usual thing… scored twice. Horner and the Bruins go together like acorn squash soup and a warm cardigan for crying out loud. I see the Bruins making a bigtime charge up the ladder over the next month, you heard it here first…

FLAMES 2 PENGUINS 1: What can I say about Henri Marfisi that hasn’t been said already? Gets a tripping penalty and the game winning goal all in a crazy 2nd half of the game to seal the win. These Flames are burning up the league and aren’t taking the pedal off the floor any time soon. Dave Graham skates like a deer out there and don’t get me started about Marc Verrier who has a reach like Go-Go- Gadget dammit. Penguins Mike “golden” Archer scored a highlight reel goal for the Pens who ran out of ink.

SUN.NOV.13TH

BRUINS 7 BLACKHAWKS 4: What did I tell you? These Bruins have the wheels back on the Red Flyer wagon and they are back in cruise control. Bob “come on it’s your” Tirnanic had a 4-point night and Dennis Haradyn scored his 1st of the campaign for the winning side. Gary Guthro could set up goals from the broadcast booth if there was one at the Mohawk Quad pad. For the Hawks, goaltender Joe Defaria registered an assist and now has more points than 43% of the league players, nice job Joe! Larry Litzgus scored a pair along with Tony Vastano, who turns opposition goalies into chicken pot pies when he is on his game. I heard he buys only non-salted soda crackers to keep up his torrid pace on the ice. Seems to be working!

FLYERS 6 PENGUINS 3: Mike Lubrick, ate 2 bowls of pasta before the game. Bad news for the Penguins and the guy beside him in the locker room. Mike scored his forst of the season and added 3 assists to propel the Flyers to a 6-3 win over the Penguins. Patrick McKenna also scored his 1st and leaped over Bernie Geoffrion in the all-time scoring list. The flying Irishman (his name sounds Irish) celebrated up at the bar after with a Guinness and a smile. Penguins Terry Lee scored a memorable 1st of the season also as a lot of players got the piano off their back this past week.

FLAMES 3 STARS 0: Flames John Jansen scored the game winner as the Flames continued to light up the opposition. Tymen Edelkoort wears imaginary goggles that tell him that’s going to happen next. They are called Next Glasses I think. Anyways, he just knows where the puck is going to go about half an hour beforehand. Tymen stopped 34 saves for the bagel. Stars Chris Barratto was unavailable for comment after the game. Apparently he is toiling with the thoughts of some lineup changes to get the offence going again. I will update when I hear anything…

REDWINGS 6 SHARKS 3: Welcome to the Scott Maki Show with special guests…. No one because this night was all about Scott, the Flying Finn who scored a hatty and even leaped into the crowd until he realized the only one watching the game was the Zamboni driver. Who cares, Maki is apparently still celebrating the 3 goals and it’s Wednesday! Great game, Scott! The Redwings called up Larry Sipos for this one and it helped. The guy broadcasting kept getting tongue-tied saying Sipos and Sippel all damn night but who cares, a win is a win and the Redwings will take it. Sippel, Sipos, Voisin.. say that fast 3 times… Jonas Scott filled in for Richard Pacquet admirably while at the other end of the ice surface, Downtown Len Brown blasted home his 1st of the season in a losing cause.

Well that wraps up another week of SCOHA action from this end of the ice. Winter’s coming folks, get out the winter boots and prey there’s no visitor hanging out in them. See you at the rink this weekend. Lots of players made their way up to the bar this past week, it was great to see! Don’t forget to add bacon to your team pizza!!! Player stats are already posted on the website.

Chris Marttila

SCOHA Blogologist and Stat Guy