This Week in SCOHA – November 9th, 2022

Hello again, folks. Let’s start this off on the right foot by wishing those fellow Scohaians that are nursing injuries or are trying to shake off a virus speedy recoveries and hope you are back at the rink very soon. It’s never fun to miss games, not to mention the before and after game fun we all look forward to.

 

 

UNITED DIVISION:

 

CANADIENS 7 OILERS 3: The Canadiens circled around the offensive zone like pigeons following a lobster truck. 7 unanswered goals… well they were answered because the puck went in the net. Never understood that statement. Bill “Aluminum” Foley lit the lamp 3 times and added a helper for the winning side. Habs captain Mike Miscio was more excited than the time Meagan met Oprah for crying out loud. This Canadiens team just threw it into another gear and you heard it hear first, they are going to be a tough opponent the whole rest of the way. Oilers were missing some key spokes in their wheel, mainly star defenceman Justin Whitwell, wiley veteran Blaine “place your” Betzold and Dennis “this land is your land, this land is my land” Klander but that’s no excuse. Oilers are guaranteeing a better effort for their fans this upcoming weekend versus the Hawks.

 

FLYERS 4 BRUINS 1: This Flyer team has been assembled to challenge adversity throughout the season. When it gets cold, player/coach Mike Haslam will have his team doing wind sprints out in the parking lot even if it isn’t windy out. They beat up on the Bruins 4-1. Bruins played more nervous than a bunch of little chickens reading what’s on the menu that night. Flyers Mike Rostecki scored the game winner for the guys in orange while captain Wayne Sliwinski scored the loan goal for the B’s. newcomer Chris Conroy was a late scratch from the Bruins lineup. This highly skilled rookie skates like a deer out there and can put the puck in the net with a black sock over his eyes. Watch out for this guy.

 

 

SHARKS 4 BLACKHAWKS 4: the Hawks have more ties than Don Cherry’s closet. Their 3rd of the season as they tied the Sharks 4-4 in an action-filled contest. Sharks Dave Mercer scored twice while Marc “Taco” Bellehumeur also scored a pair for the Hawks. Watch hawks defenceman Dave “Magic” Johnson play the game, I dare you to. Bring a tablet with you to take notes, too. Dave’s pre-game meals consist of a different chicken wing sauce for every mood. But let’s talk about this Sharks club for a minute. They are dripping with confidence right now. Their goaltender Darren O’Brien used to be the drummer for Brain Cabinet so you know he has quick feet to make that big save at any given time.

 

 

MASTERS DIVISION:

 

FLYERS 9 SHARKS 3: The timekeeper ran out of ink before this game was 8 minutes old. She was madder than the time Dora the Explorer asked where the key to the gate was. 9 goals by the Flyers as the took care of things 9-3 over the Sharks. Dave Armstrong could score from the lobby right beside that arcade game that you direct a hook to a stuffed animal. Dave scored another 3 goals to tie him with Mike Bossy on the all-time scoring list. Ken “I’m not weird, your pants are” Wiersma and Guy “barbasol” Shaver both dropped a deuce for the winners. A bright spot for the Sharks was Dale Brons who tallied a goal and added 2 assists. This guy is going to go on a tear very soon, fellas, you heard it here first and it’s not up for discussion. Shark’s goalkeeper Joe LoCiccero folded up like a Peterborough street map after a leg injury, we hope he is ok! Stick tap to the goalie who eventually came on to fill in for the Sharks.

 

 

STARS 3 BRUINS 2: Whoever said this game was duller than a real estate gala is hugely mistaken. Missing team superstar Steve Horner, the Bruins left it all out on the ice, including the room key. Paul “jersey” Shorer scored all 3 goals for the Stars and took the game puck home for his mantle even though the dog will most likely enjoy it for a snack. Bruins got a quality game from their future hall of famer Bob “it’s not mine, its your” Tirnanic as well as the usual strong game from Gary Guthro. These guys would be on my team every year if I ran a team and if I was in masters Division. Great game, guys!

 

BLACKHAWKS 5 PENGUINS 1: This Larry Litzgus fella is going to do well in this league, I have a sneaky suspicion. 4 goals for the Larrinator as the hawks folded up the Pens like an origami swan 5-1. Diamond Bill Kircos also got a nice goal then decided to coast back to centre ice riding his stick like Tiger Williams used to, saluting all 4 fans on his way by. Penguins got another goal from Steve Kivell who is the gold standard for all SCOHA players. He did everything but drink out of a water fountain and rob a bank but his team just couldn’t solve hawks goalie Joe “near and” Defaria

 

FLAMES 3 REDWINGS 1: I could be wrong, I’m not a zoologist, but the redwings need some scoring punch. They have all the tools in the toolbox to turn this thing around. I say they will find a way, especially with the talent they have on paper. Unfortunately they ran into a (bad pun coming) red-hot Flames squad who are playing like they want the playoffs to start immediately, if not sooner. A big 3-0 shutout as Tymen Edelkoort steered away 34 shots for the shutout. Flames got a huge game from Darren “green giant” Corneau as he scored a pair for the big win. This guy can stick handle around the Sherman Access without losing control of the puck. I’ve played shinny against this guy, he’s a keeper.

 

Well that wraps up another week of SCOHA shananigans from this end of the ice. Best of luck untangling the Christmas lights this weekend. Just put a crisp 20 in the swear jar before you start.

 

See everyone at the rink and hey, come up to the bar afterwards and switch the pepperoni for bacon on the pizza, you will thank me later.

 

Chris Marttila

 

SCOHA Blogologist / Stat guy