This Week in SCOHA – December 7th, 2021

Right off the bat, let’s acknowledge Masters goaltender Joe LoCicero for his first installment of “Scoha Heroes Having Coffee” podcast that hit Apple Music, Disney Plus and Spotify last week. Joe’s first episode saw special guests Bruce MacDonald and Joe Venditti join him for some laughs and stories from past years of SCOHA. Glad to hear they are both keeping well. Great guys. Can’t wait to hear who the next mystery guests are…

Also, thanks to the messages about this weekly blog. Some players are even saying they feel smarter after each edition.

This past week saw the Junior Division have the night off. The Flyer’s Haslam trio held a family games night that went a bit sideways when they decided to combine a game of Twister and chili night. We won’t go into detail but needless to say, there won’t be another games night there for a while….

Intermediate Flyers and Blackhawks pulled off a trade prior to this past weekend’s games. I fell to my knees in Walmart when I heard about this. Blackhawks sent A.A.N.G. (all-around nice guy) Jeff Davis to the Flyers for future considerations to clear some cap space and to help solidify a struggling Flyer club. There’s a warm water feeling in the Flyers locker room that they can salvage their season with this key cog in the wheel. A big thank you to Jeff for helping out the league!

Everyone’s Proline tickets were ripped up and strewn about the bleachers when the Masters Kings and Flames played to a 2-2 tie. A lot of us had the “over 5.5” goals on this one but the two goalies had something to say about that… Sorry buddy, I’m not making it out tonight, I’m at home trying to figure this game out.

JUNIOR DIVISION:

No Games Scheduled

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

BLACKHAWKS 2 BRUINS 2: Bruins Richard Forster had a Jolt Cola before the game. His perseverance on the puck and his attention to detail rubs off on the others. That being said, R.F. scored both goals as his Bruins tied the Blackhawks 2-2 in front of a loud deafening crowd as part of School Night at the rink. Kids aged 5-12 from local schools filled buses for a free night of SCOHA action. Every shot on goal brought a thunderous scream from the kids, something that helped fuel Forster’s solid game. Sub-in goalie Matt “Hitman” Hartwick filled in admirably in the Hawks crease while Chris “great” Scott and Steve Cromwell scored a goal each for their side.

FLYERS 5 CANADIENS 5: Canadiens Bill “aluminum” Foley switched up his pre-game routine and it paid dividends. He scored a pair of goals and added an assist as the Canadiens and Flyers tied 5-5. Mike Desrorges kept the train rolling with a goal and 2 helpers as he continued his torrid pace on the score sheet, good grief. The only way to slow this guy down is lay a few banana peels on his front step, lemme tell ya. Flyers Jim Marentette scored a couple true snipes, assisted on another and went 38 for 38 at the faceoff dot. Brock “hot wheels” Hotrum also lit up the score sheet with 3 apples for Team Orange, this is a recording Let’s pause for this week’s SCOHA Spotlight brought to you by Duracell. Wiley veteran Glenn Manella toiled in the European system for over 8 seasons before latching on to a roster spot with the Flyers. Although you won’t hear his name announced much, he is content soaking up all the SCOHA memories just like a grade 3 school trip to Pioneer Village for maple syrup. He often mans the blueline with Ryan “go-train” Maybrey. These two have complete opposite styles of play but it works. They go together like bathtubs and toasters.

MASTERS DIVISION:

STARS 2 SHARKS 0: Mike “12-string acoustic” Guitard scored the game winner as the Stars made a Sharkuterie board of the Sharks 2-0. They even added some of that spicy Italian meat that has a tint of orange to warn you and left the pits in the olives. Alex “how much wood could a woodchuck cut if a woodchuck could chuck” Greychuck with the 26-save shutout. This guy is playing some outstanding hockey, hotter than a cascabel chili right now. Peter “don’t call me P.K.” Subar scored the other Stars goal. These guys are flying on all cylinders right now, recording points in their last 5 games. Paul “Jersey” Shorer is keeping the locker room loose with his comedic jabs at his teammates. He could have everyone in stitches if he went on stage for Yuk Yuk’s open mic night. In all honesty, I like coleslaw just as much as the next guy but this Stars team is playing with heart lately. I have them climbing the ladder every week in the SCOHA Power Rankings. Watch out, these guys are for real.

KINGS 2 FLAMES 2: No confirmed outbreak of goals in this one, folks. Both goalies saw more rubber than Pam Anderson on a Tuesday afternoon. Guy “Remington” Shaver is pretty popular this time of year. He is fast, comfortable and convenient and comes with a handy travel pouch. Whether you’re making the switch from manual razors or looking for an electric upgrade, ask Guy about his full range of foil and rotary Shavers. Anyways, Guy had the game tying goal with a shave under 7 minutes left to secure the single point for the Kings. Joe LoCicero stood on his ear lobes all night. Ted “is that Pluto? No sorry son, it’s” Marszalek also saw a plethora of shots, turning aside 32 saves for the tie. No penalties called in this game as both teams respected the yuletide spirit.

FLYERS 5 BLACKHAWKS 1: Blackhawk Down. The Hawks hadn’t lost in 3 games entering this game but ran into Richard “Slazenger tennis” Pacquet and his glove hand that could slice tomatoes. Make the final 5-1 Flyers. Pat “8 foot storm” Sergi scored a highlight reel goal with 5 ticks left in the first period to secure the W for the Flyers. Dale Brons is a guy you should be targeting in your SCOHA fantasy draft. He comes to the rink with a Timmies extra large triple triple in his hand with dreams of making the scoresheet every single night. His pre-game meal? He goes hunting with a bowl and spoon and scoffs down 2 cans of Libby’s Zoodles with a glass of milk as a chaser. You heard it here first. Stick tap to Enzo Giammichele with quite a spectacular goal midway though the 1st period. Kid can skate like a deer out there.

BRUINS 4 REDWINGS 1 Bruins are back on track, boys and girls. Captain Gord Bryce held a players only meeting a few weeks ago, now they have won 2 straight. Final score 4-1 Bruins over the pesky Redwings. Dave Armstrong with the hat trick. Repeat…repeat… the sounding joy. Dave is so smart, he figured out the Caramilk secret. Rob “4-cheese chicken” Nacha set up Armstrong twice. These guys clicking out there, they go together like an old lady and 27 cats. Clean game between the wickets for Bruin’s goalie J.J. “don’t call me Rita” MacNeil. This Redwings hockey club refuses to give up. Fans are still coming out to see them play. Captain Terry Gudgeon told reporters after this one that he will be running 2 a day practices with no pucks a few times this week and banned 2nd helpings for Christmas dinners until his team can show a bit more speed and agility on the ice. He will also be bringing his shortwave transistor radio into the room for added motivation next game. Hey, did anyone see Redwings Mike Christensen’s goal? Had the whole bar leaning up against the glass watching.

HOT TAKES: brought to you by Schneiders Red Hots. We still don’t know what’s in them.

Hottest teams right now are the Masters Stars (4 wins, 1 tie in their last 5), Intermediate Blackhawks (9 points in last 6 games) and Junior Bruins (points in last 3 games)

Well other than that, Intermediate and Masters have this weekend off. There’s a full slate of games Friday night in the Junior division if you are looking for something to do. Quick note before I go, the Salvation Army Christmas kettle collection is electronic this year. You can send all donations to my email account. Enjoy the rest of the week, fellas, catch up with you later…

Chris Marttila