This Week in SCOHA – November 19th, 2019

Scohaville is ready to turn up the heat as winter weather has hit us in the face like a bird on a clean window. 3 games finished in a tie which messed up several Proline tickets. Intermediate Canadiens remain on fire with their 7th straight win while other teams are continuing to have more knots than a sailboat... Fans are starting to fill the bleachers, losing their lungs cheering on their favourite Scoha heroes. Let’s peel back the onion on the week that was…

JUNIOR DIVISION:

FLYERS 7 OILERS 4: Bob Tiranic sunk the Oilers with a hattrick as his team cruised to a 7-4 win. See Bob’s 3rd goal? He pulled off a celly like he just scored a date with Kate Upton! Great game! Ryan Haslam scored a pair for the winners but he does that every week, while Rob Moon cleared space for an Oilers goal along with Jeff Foster, his first of the season.

BRUINS 7 PENGUINS 4: This Justin Mol guy is all over the ice like the 8 squirrels in my backyard every morning looking for one nut. 2 more goals as the Bruins put a cap on the pens 7-4. Bruins Peter Tompkins has more stories to tell than Mother Goose. His in-depth, unwavering perception of the game is a must-have for any locker room. If Scoha ever has a weekly podcast, I will bbm message Peter to be a guest.

REDWINGS 2 BLACKHAWKS 2: Redwings goalie Al Ringer is around to help everyone out. He got an assist to help the Redwings skate to a 2-2 tie with the Hawks. Hawks’ Kyle “don’t call me Lee Harvey” Oswald scored his first 2 goals of the season while Brent French added a pair of assists. Jeff Davis and that Laporta kid scored again for the Wings. Let’s talk about Redwings Yves Bisson, most underrated guy in the room. He’s the human Swiss army knife, prepared for any situation. War chest full of tape, stones, and extra socks. Fills the team water bottles and is happy to do it. Keep it up, Yves!

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

FLYERS 4 BLACKHAWKS 4: As my buddy Steven Tyler once sang, “Same ol’ Song and Dance..” as the Flyers and Blackhawks couldn’t gain a valuable 2 points, settling for a 4-4 tie in front of a robust crowd of 3. The lights above the ice made more noise. At any rate, Hawks’ Steve Saulnier and some Chris Marttila guy scored a pair for each side to lead the way. Dave “Mayor of Scohaville” Wichman added a pair of apples along with Hawks’ Peter DiPietro to secure the tie. The Flyers see the light at then end of the tunnel. Players are rehabbing injuries but appear to be ready for red jersey, non-contact practice drills.

PENGUINS 5 BRUINS 3: Hope you bought a program for this one, folks… Bruins were missing 7 players, I think they all had a private box at the Tiger Cat game but who knows. The spares filled in admirably but it wasn’t enough because they were playing Bob Tenison and his 2 goals that sealed the deal on this night. Bob drove the team bus home afterwards and refused tips. Bruins got a pair of snipes from Wayne Sliwinski but just like Webster, fell a bit short.

CANADIENS 6 LEAFS 3: Habs’ promising young upstart Dwayne Kavanagh doesn’t want to ride the bus in the minors anymore. His knees ache from the lack of legroom and the egg salad sandwiches give him gas. He scored a pair of beauts to lead the Canadiens over the Leafs 6-3. Team captain Mike Miscio has his team flying on all cylinders. Goalie Bill Templeman keeps stealing games, don’t step on his cape up at the bar or things could get messy. Leafs Steve Cromwell averages about a point a game, sees the ice well and isn’t afraid to go into the corners. He is a #120 sandpaper, useful for removing old finish or scratches. Yes I googled that.

MASTERS DIVISION:

FLAMES 2 BLACKHAWKS 2: Hawks Ed Venema was a snake out there… a goal and an assist was enough to get the game puck as his team tied the Flames 2-2. Both goalies stood on their ear lobes for most of the night. Fans stood to their feet several times to applaud them and both saluted the crowd for their generosity. Flames John Jansen also scored a goal and added a helper for his team who haven’t tasted defeat since week 6.

KINGS 4 SHARKS 0: What did I tell you last week… Kings are ready to fold up the Masters division like a used tent. Big 4-0 whitewash of the Sharks who keep screwing up my Proline ticket with their unpredictable play. Missing 3 key players, the Kings had newcomer Howie Micks driving the train, scoring a goal and setting up a pair for the winning side. Run out of Micks? Give Howie a call…. Kings towering defenceman John Toth scored his 1st of the season then stuck around afterwards to sign autographs for the kids. John Toth could use his hockey stick to high-jump the Trump wall. No wonder no one can get around this guy. Good grief. He scored his goal from the parking lot for crying out loud.

BRUINS 3 FLYERS 0: Give the Flyers a boatload of credit for their effort. Playing a Bruins team who haven’t even lost yet this year, they showed us all they have plenty of fight in them. With their star player Dave Armstrong resting a bad injury, Flyers are depending on other players to chip in offensively. They ran onto a hot goaltender in J.J. MacNeil on this night but left it all on the ice in a 3-0 defeat. Bob Tiranic scored 2 Bruins goals and Peter “P.K.” Subar added another.

REDWINGS 4 STARS 1: Ken “The Robot” Zrobok had a can of Jolt Cola before the game and scored a hatty as the Redwings flew past the Stars 4-1. Stars were missing 5 guys including power forward Bernard “beef” Boulianne, who we all hope is back on the ice very soon! Redwings goalie Ed Mooney slammed the door off the hinges all night to preserve the win.

Well that’s another week of action from this end of the ice. Let’s hope for a big Grey Cup win from our team!

Chris Marttila