This Week in SCOHA - October 11th, 2019

High scores were definitely on the menu last week as SCOHA pucks went home sore. Several players are getting acclimated to their new team’s playbooks while team rivalries are heating up like a bowl of uncovered pea soup in the microwave. Grab a bagel. Grab a coffee and sit down for your weekly staple.

JUNIOR DIVISION:

FLYERS 5 BLACKHAWKS 0: Bruce “Best” Buynink posted the shutout as his Flyers beat the Hawks 5-0. Buynink plays a simple game in the crease. He is relaxed like a warm bath out there. The kid is going to go far in this league, you heard it here first. So is Mike Haslam, a hat trick to all but solidify his legacy amongst the ranks of fellow Scohidians. Ryn Haslam also helped deliver the flyers with a goal and 3 assists.

REDWINGS 3 BRUINS 2: Ross “saucer pass” Lacasse scored the eventual game winner as the Redwings held off the Bruins 3-2. Bruins Justin Mol scored both goals for the Bruins in a losing cause but was still given the game puck for his mantle. This seesaw affair had more ups and downs than a toilet seat on Thanksgiving evening and you can thank the broccoli and cauliflower casserole for that.

PENGUINS 6 OILERS 4: My pick for scoring champ, Dino Laporta, did everything but knock a grandma down on an icy sidewalk. He scored another 3 highlight reel goals that had us all on the edge of the sofa cushion. His unmatched wisdom on the ice surface will make his team a contender to lift the damn trophy at the end of the year. Get your polaroid instamatics ready for the championship photo, gang. Chris Charlton was also in charge out there, racking up a modest goal and 2 helpers to secure the win for the Pens.

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

CANADIENS 7 LEAFS 5: The Canadiens continue to do a lot of good things under the hood. Despite taking 5 minor penalties, Les Canadiens were tres excite on route to the big win over their arch rival Leafs. It was Dwayne’s World out there as Dwayne Kavanaugh had 2 Dr.Peppers before the game and went out there and popped in a hatty for the winners. Bill “Aluminum” Foley dropped a deuce to help his team with the W. Leafs Walt Blagdon tallied a pair for the in a losing cause.

PENGUINS 6 BRUINS 1: Pens’ Mike Leblanc and Walter Domingos delivered a pair of pepperoni pizzas each as they helped down the Bruins 6-1. Oddshark.com had the over at 5 so the spread was covered and then some. After an opening night loss, the Penguins seem to have untangled the lights, reeling off 4 straight wins. These guys have the trains making all stops to Union Station with no delays. Watch out for them.

FLYERS 7 BLACKHAWKS 4: Some Chris Marttila guy who writes the weekly blog had a game for the ages. 3 goals and a helper as the Flyers kept the Hawks winless on the year 7-4. My proline ticket took a crap because I thought this would be a defensive battle right down to the final horn. Gary Poole swam to the deep end with no problems for the Hawks, scoring 3 goals on the night. Flyers sat in the box 5 times but had intense penalty killing all night thanks to active sticks.

MASTERS DIVISION:

BLACKHAWKS 3 REDWINGS 2: Hawks’ Bruno Digiovanni went upstairs where mamma keeps the oven ready lasagna noodles for the game winner as his team held off a fierce Redwings squad desperate for a win. Gord Johnson with his lavish style of goaltending was the difference, turning back several 5 bell shots to make the game interesting. Tymen Edelkoort stood taller in the Hawks net to preserve the W. Let’s pause and talk about Hawks team captain Bill Kircos. His team speaks volumes of his leadership on and off the ice. If your car breaks down, call Bill Kircos. He’ll come as soon as possible, fix the problem, and tell you what you could’ve done to prevent it. A player’s only meeting was held post game as the Wings remain positive and I call it, they will go on a winning streak starting next weekend.

KINGS 5 FLAMES 2: The Kings poured an empty kfc bucket of water over the Flames to capture their first win of the season. Alastair Kermack and Munish Baranowski both scored a pair of beauts for the winning side as they are confident they can turn an 0-4 start to the season into a great 2nd quarter. Kings technician of the tangled twine, Scott Johnson made more stops than the Barton 2 on a Monday morning. Speaking to reporters after the game, he was all smiles like he slept with a hanger in his mouth, excited to get the first win under his Wrangler belt.

BRUINS 2 SHARKS 1: Bob Tirnanic lit the proverbial lamp for the game winning goal as the Bruins dodged the Sharks 2-1. Both goalies played Vezina-style games out there but the Bruins prevailed. Both teams will be airing their gear out an extra day as they both left everything out on the ice.

STARS 6 FLYERS 0: Richard Paquet stopped about 48 shots as the Stars were all aligned in a 6-0 win over the Flyers who were missing their scoring machine, Dave Armstrong as he rehabs a leg injury. Armstrong did it all for the Flyers before the injury, making margarita pizzas during the intermission and offering the other team a slice. Stars’ Dave Jarvis scored 3 goals while Dale Brons was heard whistling the Globetrotter song while stickhandling up the ice.

Well that puts a lid on another week of SCOHA action. Hope all those dealing with injuries get healed up and back on the ice soon. Stick tap to the refs keeping games under control and the timekeepers for their hard work so far. Terry Gudgeon is even installing elevators on behalf of the league, this guy’s pillow is still in the plastic he never rests. Great work Terry!

Happy Thanksgiving, gang!

Chris Marttila