This Week in SCOHA – November 14th, 2023

The “Grey Cup Doesn’t Matter Because the Ticats Aren’t Playing” Edition.

So let’s get right to the rumour swirling that SCOHA will play a few games in Japan next year as part of a Global Series to get more fans to follow SCOHA but league commissioner Terry Gudgeon quickly squashed those silly thoughts. “Not likely… ever.” Guess that’s why they call them rumours. Ever eat Chinese food then go to hockey? Never have, never will. That would sit in your stomach like a block of cheese the size of a car battery. At any rate, let’s peel the onion back from the week that was in Scohaville.

United Division:

Bruins 5 Oilers 2: The Oilers are still trying to find their way and that was evident against a fast-skating Bruins hockey club that were all business, winning 5-2. Devin Friesen scored a pair of goals while Bruno “Carlos” Santanato turned away 15 shots, many of the 5-star garden variety, for the win. Oilers goaltender Justin Ross saw more rubber than the TransCanada Highway, facing 29 shots in the game. Stick-tap to Nicole Mol who logged the shots on goal. Oilers Steve Ditta good job scoring a pair of goals in a losing cause. Steve continues to be a scoring threat out there for this Oilers team, an early favourite for team mvp.

Redwings 4 Sharks 1: Shots were 34-9 for the RedWings, folks. Their goalie, Brad Ballman left the game after his groin folded up like the top of the Chinese food bag before they staple it closed with a menu for next time. Spoke to Brad this evening via text and he is still pretty sore and knows he can’t rush getting back to action with this type of injury. Get well soon, fella. Alan Herron makes a living scoring goals, he signed a stick endorsement deal with Titan last week, that’s how good he is. Herron scored twice for the winning side. Justin “swiss chalet festive special” Deschatelets also scored a beaut for the Wings who are playing some greasy hockey right now.

Blackhawks 5 Flyers 4: Marc Poulin scored the game winner as the Hawks snuck past the Flyers 5-4 in what was being called the game of the season so far. Poulin is scoring goals just like he did back in 94’ for the Springfield Isotopes where he tallied 30 goals and added 4 assists. This game went back and forth like a ping pong game, or a table tennis game, same damn thing as far as this guy is concerned. Hawks sniper John, congratulations, you’ve won a brand new” Carvalho was all over the place, scoring a hatty for the winning side. I don’t care what you say, if Johnny didn’t show up, Hawks would’ve lost.. probably 4-2. Great game, fellas!

Masters Division:

Flyers 6 Stars 4: Jonas “Great” Scott and Richard Paquet were the “Guardians of the Guilded Gazebos”. Scott was filling in for Joe LoCicero and played well enough to win the game 6-4. Did anyone see Bob Wallace’s goal? He is looking for a video copy of it but needs to be converted to vhs if it’s not too much trouble, thanks. Stars Chris Barratto spoke to reporters after the game and said, “My team doesn’t panic when pressure arrives. It’s a long season, folks. These guys will be okay.” Barratto then booked Glanbrook ice for 6am Monday morning for a no-pucks practice.

Blackhawks 7 Sharks 3: The Hawks scored 4 second period goals, led by Darren Corneau’s hat trick, to thump the Sharks 7-3. This Corneau kid has plenty of upside to his game. He led the ECHL’s Quad City Mallards in scoring 3 out of past 4 seasons before signing with the SCOHA Blackhawks for 3 years, 6.5 million a year. Nick Miscione, a pending free agent at season’s end, piled up a goal and added 3 assists for the winners. I know Miscione said he won’t talk contract extension until the summer but I have a feeling GM Bill Kircos wants to nail this down sooner than later. To be continued….

Bruins 3 RedWings 3: Of course I had the over 6.5 on this game, never fails. Steve Horner scored another 2 goals. A typical horn section might range in size from 2 to a half dozen or more, with some combination of trumpets, trombones and saxophones. Yes I googled it just now, why would I know that? Anyways, Wings’ Dave “La Legende” Langille scored again and now sits only 4 back of Steve Yzerman for all-time Redwing goals. I say he passes Stevie Y before Christmas.

Penguins 3 Kings 2: Bruno DiGiovanni scored another clutch goal for the Penguinos as they crowned the Kings 3-2 and he is so printing this off and hanging it on his fridge door. Not only that, Robert DiGiovanni chipped in with a goal and an assist so hit 2 copies on the printer, fellas! You guys are playing some serious hockey out there, keep it up! This pre-game mixture of coffee and pasta sauce is definitely working for these 2 snipers. I want a signed puck.

Well that wraps up another week of SCOHA action. Saw a few players limping around this past weekend up at the bar so here’s hoping those bumps and bruises heal up soon. Everyone says the level of play amps up after Christmas so we’ve got a bit of time to get up to speed. Thanks refs and timekeepers for your continued hard work, it is noticeable every week.

Keep the puck moving, fellas!

Chris Marttila

SCOHA Blog Guy

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