This Week in SCOHA – November 1st, 2022

The possum lodge edition you ask? Well United Division sniper Brent Haslam showed up at the rink Sunday night, unzipped his hockey bag and a live possum jumped out and scared the daylights out of everyone in the proximity. Easily the Panasonic play of the Week, folks and I am not making this up. You might ask how did he not hear this thing running laps around his gear while he was carrying it in the damn arena.. or how did it not piss all over everything. Those are questions you will have to ask him yourself. Or I will and will report back next week. 

At any rate, I was away for work last week which is why you didn’t see the weekly roundup on here but I am back ready to go. Week 6 of this nagging sprained thumb from summer hockey is feeling about 90%. Thumbs up to that. 

 UNITED DIVISION: OCTOBER 28TH 

CANADIENS 5 BLACKHAWKS 3: These Canadiens are unpredictable this year which is why I stay away from them on Proline. They hosted the Blackhawks who are on the verge of getting this season back on track and beat them 5-3. Bill “Holiday” Innes scored a pair as Andrew “I’m not a cook, I’m a” Baker to help the Habs gain a big 2 points. Walter Blagdon, who is only 12 points from passing Denis Savard for all-time Blackhawk point lead, scored a beaut and celebrated like he’s done it 88 million times. Peter Tompkins also scored for the Hawks and described it to everyone up at the bar afterwards. 

 OILERS 3 FLYERS 2: This game had all the earmarks of a playoff game. The Oilers hung on to the narrow 3-2 victory and leapfrogged the Flyers in the standings. Duane “from the planet” Marzi scored the eventual game winner while Tim Visser stood tall yet again in the Oilers crease. Wiley veteran Paul Cleary also chipped in with an assist for the winning side. Flyers Mike Rostecki had a goal and an assist while Dino Giudice grabbed a couple assists in a losing cause. Both goalies played like it was game 7 out there. I had the under 5.5 goals for this one so I did alright. 

UNITED DIVISION: OCTOBER 30TH 

FLYERS 6 CANADIENS 1: The Flyers didn’t even have time to air out their gear from Friday’s loss and they were back on the ice against the Habs. Playing with a bee in their bonnet and a possum in their bag, the Flyers trounced the Canadiens to get back on track. Flyers goalie Lino Cosco hasn’t lost back-to-back games since December of 84’ so we all had a feeling he would win this one. Lyle Allen scored a pair, so did 4 other Flyers while Mike Leblanc scored the lone Habs goal. 

 BRUINS 7 BLACKHAWKS 7: Kidding me? The city got called in to replace the damn bulbs in the goal lights at both ends of the ice. Bruins’ Richard Forester chopped down the opposition, scoring a hatty as the bruins almost squandered a big lead, settling for a 7-7 tie against a determined hawk team. Newcomer Chris Conroy dropped a deuce for the Bruins while at the other end, Dave “magic” Johnson scored a hatty for a club on the verge of turning this season around. That Walter Blagdon superstar also scored again to continue his impressive start to the campaign. 

 OILERS 3 SHARKS 1: John “Behind Door #2 is a brand new” Carvalho carried on scoring goals, potting the go-ahead marker midway through the 2nd period as the Oilers remained on fire with a 3-1 victory over the Sharks. Ken “The Giraffe” Hutchinson also scored for the Oil who now sit atop the standings with 6 wins under their belts. Jeff “highway 400” Barry tallied for the Sharks who gave it their all, just fell a bit short. The Steve “fudge” Cromwell backhand-saucer pass count for this game was 8. 

 MASTERS DIVISION: OCTOBER 30TH 

PENGUINS 4 REDWINGS 1: Captain Steve Smith flew the team plane to the this one, constantly shouting at his team to keep their seatbelts on for the bumpy ride. Little did he know, defenceman Al Oddie can juggle 3 opened beers without spilling a drop while wearing a black sock around his eyes. Hey did you see William Reid’s goal? Good grief, folks, this guy should have to use the other end of his stick out there, it’s just not fair!  

 SHARKS 11 BRUINS 2: Sharks were missing 6 players so he spares took over this game. John Elter was just walking around the bruins zone like he owns the damn place and then underhands junior bacon cheeseburgers to his line mates who finished the job. Rumour has it Elter will sign with LIV golf next summer. The Bruins were without John Horner and Gary Guthro, two prominent players from the B’s roster. Tim Manning scored both Bruins goals in this one, his durability is undeniable. Apparently Gary was at a benefit for hemmroids, it was standing room only. #87 wasn’t listed on the gamesheet but he had a great game, three goals and an assist. Bruins fearless leader Gord Bryce didn’t speak to reporters after the game because he kept his team on the ice and bag skated them until their Jolt Colas from before the game came up. 

 FLAMES 4 FLYERS 2: these Flames are hotter than Wilma Flintstone at a potato sack race. Another win, this time 4-2 over the Flyers. Flyer fans are saying they lost because star forward and all-around nice guy Dave Armstrong was a late scratch from the lineup but it’s a full team game, folks. Ghislain Piche score a pair for the winners while Nick Miscione and Alistair Kermack replied for the Flyers. This was a close game from start to finish as all 7 fans were on the edge of their seats!  

STARS 7 BLACKHAWKS 1: Robert DiGiovanni is putting up rec league slow pitch numbers this season. He scored a hattrick and set up another as the Stars lit up the Hawks (and the damn sky) 7-1. Stars were missing Chris “beans” Barratto who was at the benefit with Gary Guthro. Hawks Larry Litzgus was more tired than a pair of dentures after a cold buffet after this game. This guy could skate his ass off the whole game without resting or asking for a drop of water, you heard it here first. 

Well that closes the book on another week of SCOHA action. Remember the clocks go back this Saturday night! Also let’s thank the refs and scorekeepers for their great job so far, it goes a long way. 

 Have a great rest of the week, see you at the rink.. 

 Chris Marttila 

SCOHA Blogologist