This Week In SCOHA – September 26th, 2022

The Opening Night Edition

Welcome back, gang! Some players carried on where they left off last year while some needed a blow torch to get the rust off the blades after a crazy first night of SCOHA action. Masters Division veteran Guy “Braun Series 7” Shaver was seen in the grocery store buying avacodos and eggs so you know his mind is on a stronger season even though he spent the majority of game day afternoon sitting on the standard with stomach pains reading the Spectator funnies.



In the inaugural evening of this merged division, even though we are still awaiting confirmations and analysis, the fans seemed to like the pace of the games. Per Darren Dreger from TSN, “Many players amped up their off-season regiments in anticipation of a higher speed of hockey, and that was evident after night one. For those who thought the merger would be a flop, they can throw that argument in the trash where it rightfully belongs ...” Thanks Darren.


Jeff Nolet should’ve been drafted by the Canadiens so the fans could chant “Nolet.. Nolet Nolet Nolet….” or whatever that dumb song is the Hab fans sing. But he didn’t so he is going to put up major numbers for a remodeled Bruin team looking to regain their championship form. Captain Wayne Sliwinski and Nolet scored twice each to help the Bruins claw the Sharks 5-2 in front of a modest crowd of 12. Jeff Davis is on the Bruins now. He started his illustrious pro career with the Flin Flon Bombers back in 78 where he led the league in points and penalty minutes. A fan favourite, Davis brings locker room veteran leadership which will be beneficial if the Bruins want to play deep into the playoffs. Sharks’ Joe Shulist (not the bar) scored a beauty in a losing cause. This guy can score, folks. You will see his name on this blog more than a few times this season.

BLACKHAWKS 2 CANADIENS 2: Blackhawks promising young upstart, Marc Poulin, kept up his annual tradition of filling the bench garbage can with whatever he ate for a pre-game meal. Fellow teammates are more than happy he didn’t stop by Mahal East Indian Restaurant before the game. He also threw up a few laser beam passes to his teammate sniper Marc “Fries Supreme from Taco” Bellehumeur during the game that made the fans stand up in unison. Turns out both goalies played well resulting in a 2-2 saw-off. This game ruined my proline ticket but look out, I will win next week. Canadiens’ rookie Andrew Baker dropped a deuce while the previously mentioned Bellehumeur and Peter Carusi replied for the Hawks.

FLYERS 4 OILERS 2: Flyer’s goalie Lino Cosco has plenty of saves stored in a warehouse at low prices. If you are a member, you can get free samples of these saves at the end of each aisle as the Oilers found out. Cosco made several 5-star saves as his Flyers double up the Oil 4-2. The Haslam clan also did their thing out there, more hustle than downtown Chicago on a Wednesday night. Ryan Haslam must’ve ate whatever Andrew Baker did because he also dropped a deuce. Ryan French added a bit of mustard to things with a nice snipe for the winners. Oilers rookie Justin Whitwell had 2 jolt colas before the game and was flying out there. He added a goal along with John “I’m done hearing about it, just get in the” Carvalho in a losing cause.


STARS 3 FLYERS 3: Dave Armstrong continued to straight-arm the league with a 2-goal performance. This guy can do it all and rumour has it he single handedly captured all 4 coyotes in Burlington with one hand on his hockey stick. Alastair Kermack also chipped in with a few assists for the winning side. Let’s slow things down a bit and talk about wily veteran Bruno DiGiovanni. He owns a good 5’7” frame and plenty of two-way acumen. Bruno is a versatile forward who can be used in all game situations. Is willing to play a physical game, too. If I was a SCOHA gm, I would definitely have this guy on my squad.

FLAMES 5 PENGUINS 1: Brian “whipper” Watson was on a mission in this game. Tied his skated extra tight for the season opener. Brian scored a pair as the Flames set the Penguins on fire 5-1 in front of an announced attendance of 8. The 50/50 draw of $6 went unclaimed so it will carry over to Sunday. Henri Marfisi looked good out there, too, must’ve had a few Oh Henry’s in the locker room before the game as he went out there and shelved a pair of beauts for the winning team. Pens player/coach Steve Smith replied for the baby blue shirts.

HAWKS 9 SHARKS 2: The Sharks were beaten 9-2 with a candlestick in the library by a guy named Colonel Mustard. Troy “from the far away land of” Izlakar hasn’t lost a step out there even though he ate wings all summer and used his shorts for a napkin. Troy scored 3 goals, added 3 assists and propelled himself to the top of the scoring race. Only thing he didn’t do was parallel park the damn team bus for crying out loud. Lee Paule and cagey veteran Dave Langille also scored a pair for the winners. Langille moved past Maurice “The Rocket’ Richard with that 2-goal performance. He will be presented with a silver stick prior to next week’s game.

BRUINS 2 REDWINGS 2: Talk about a defensive battle. You didn’t need a step ladder to feel the excitement heading into this game. Both teams bulked up over the off-season. Some by accident and some because of Redwings GM Terry Gudgeon putting them on a strict diet regiment. Bruins newcomer Steve “don’t start yet, you have to wait for the” Horner scored two goals while Max “2-for-1” Pizzingrilli and Kelly Rintjema added some saucy goals for the Wings. The Princess Auto Workhorse of the Game went to Bruins captain Gord Bryce. A SCOHA hero on and off the ice, Gord took time in the summer to re-craft his game. His tenacity without the puck in this game was noticed by all his teammates. He was tossed the game puck in the room after but he missed it and spilled his can of beer all over the floor but that’s ok, he grabbed another one.

All and all, it was a great opening week of action. Thanks to the timekeepers and refs for their efforts. Only 9 penalties called 7 games, not bad fellas. Hope I didn’t jinx it for this weekend. Anyways, welcome back those players that took a break from the league and it was great to see a bunch of new players fitting in well with their respective hockey clubs.

Have a great rest of the week, we will see you all back at the rink this weekend.

Chris Marttila

League Blog Guy / Stats

by Chris Marttila

Stats guy, blog writer

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