This Week in SCOHA - March 22nd, 2022

Ok, someone spiked my 18th beer last Thursday as I pretended to be a true Irishman. I noticed a lot more players wandering up to the Lookout Lounge this past weekend, signs of everything re-opening just in time for SCOHA playoffs. Thanks to the few guys who came up to me to praise this weekly blog. I appreciate the unbridled enthusiasm for the writeup! Let’s get right to the action!

JUNIOR DIVISION:

FLYERS 5 OILERS 1: Flyer’s fill-in goalkeeper Lino Cosco deserves to have a huge wholesale superstore named after him after this performance! Flyers folded up the Oilers like a napkin 5-1 as Ryan Haslam lit the damn arena on fire with 3 goals in a row in the 2nd stanza. Clarence “what’s your clearance” Smith added a pair of apples for the winners. Mike Czepita pit scored the lone goal for the Oil who had a closed-door players-only meeting after the game. Unfortunately, they locked themselves in and had to wait for the rink kid to let them out. These Haslams are lugging the mail lately for the Flyers who appear ready to make a big run at the cup this year.

BRUINS 3 REDWINGS 2: The Bruins claimed 1st place with their 3-2 victory over the Wings. Dino LaPorta scored all 3 for the B’s. Can you please dial it down a bit, good grief. He is quickly galvanizing the spirit of SCOHA hockey right in front of us and we don’t even know it. Bruin’s newcomer Mike Dobson almost took out the PA announcer with his slapshot in the second period. Sent that whole section of 2 spectators scurrying for a new viewing area. Redwings Justin Bisson put together quite a good season for the red and white. He was a green banana toiling in the minors before he got the call to the big club and ripened into a true Scohaiian. Bisson (Justin, not Yves) scored a nice goal that we will all see on the Cable 14 plays of the month I’m sure….

Regular season is now done for the Junior Division, let the playoffs begin!!!

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

FLYERS 4 BRUINS 3: 4 different Flyers lit the lamp as they held on for a 4-3 win over the bruins. Bruin’s Mike LeBlanc scored a pair of sweet goals. He is looking to carve a niche in this league and games like this will certainly help his cause. LeBlanc stuck around after the game to meet the 4 fans that tagged along on the road trip. Bruins welcomed back Richard “she said hi to me first, I didn’t” Forster to the lineup after a brief hiatus with a knee ailment. He told reporters it’s still a bit sore but was glad he got back out there, win or loss.

BLACKHAWKS 5 CANADIENS 4: Marc “recess is over, didn’t you hear the” Bellehumeur scored the game winner late in the third period to lift the hawks over the Habs 5-4 in a see-saw affair that saw more twists and turns than a harlequin novel. Canadiens Brian Spilak scored a pair of snipes as they were missing two key players (Bill Foley and Mike DesRorgers). Hawks were missing their player/coach Paul McGraw who was at Comicon in Toronto trying to figure out if batman killed Robin.

MASTERS DIVISION PLAYOFFS:

BRUINS 3 FLAMES 0: Bruins player/coach/GM/ticket wicket ripper/all around nice guy Gord Bryce was up at the bar smiling like he slept with a hanger in his mouth after this big win. B’s nomad of the knitted nylon (goalie) J.J. MacNeil posted the 38-save shutout. He stacked more pads than the stock boy in aisle 3 at Shoppers Drug Mart for crying out loud. Great game fellas! Dave Armstrong only got one lousy goal.. pffff.

BLACKHAWKS 4 SHARKS 3: Ok, this Mike Haslam guy is like a butter heist, better catch him before he goes on a roll, this kinda thing can spread. Haslam scored all 4 goals then loaded up the team bus, even with Bill Kircos’ sweaty socks that smell like the big globe cracked at the bottom of Woodward Avenue for heaven’s sake. 6 penalties in this game as the animosity was dialed up to eleven. Hawks’s Len Brown was caught with wing sauce all over his face during a post-game interview so things are definitely getting back to normal. Brian Deanes turned away 41 shots for the win. He took the game puck home but his dog chewed the hell out of it.

STARS 5 KINGS 5: I give up on Proline. Took the under on this one. Someone owes me three quid. Stars Peter “snoop-a-loop” Subar scored a pair to preserve the tie. King’s cagey veteran and a great guy Dave Langille did what he does well, play a great playoff game. He scored a goal and added two helpers. This guy can stickhandle around 4 cats if we asked him to. Anyone know what Steve Smith had for a pre-game dinner? A goal and three assists tell me there was a Red Bull on hand to chase meal down. Stick tap to the magicians of the meshed mansions Joe LoCiccero and Alex “how much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck“ Greychuck for their efforts in this game.

REDWINGS 4 FLYERS 2: Redwing’s Howie Micks is like CityTv… everywhere!!! Another 2 goals and an assist as his Wings took care of the Flyers 4-2. Flyers Bruce Gumby (and the range) scored the goal of the playoffs so far but it wasn’t enough, but he still got the player of game honours in his locker room. This Joe Defaria goalie is going to make a name for himself in this damn league, you heard all about it here first, fellas…

Intermediate Division still have one week of regular season games before the playoffs start. Several scouts have been watching all the games to get a leg up on next year’s draft. Hey, don’t forget to register early for next season so we know if we have enough troops to bump up junior and intermediate to six teams! I think we can reach this goal but we’ll see. Play your cards right and I will post the draft picks live next season as they happen! Anyways, rest up, this weekend’s games will be even faster as every game is important.

Chris Marttila

SCOHA E-Columnist-in-chief