This Week in SCOHA – November 16th, 2021

Fellas, the goals are coming fast and furious, just like the 9 squirrels in my backyard who are paying ridiculous rent but still won’t go away. Our SCOHA Hero Spotlight this week, brought to you by Duracell Flashlight, is Masters Blackhawk Bill “Captain” Kircos. This promising young upstart has toiled in the ranks of many European clubs. His puck tenacity is second to none and he runs through warmups with the Avengers song in his head ready to destroy every puck out there. Off the ice, Bill donates a lot of his earnings to save the Whales, enjoys mystery books and long walks along the beach. His Blackhawks won their first game of the season over the weekend so there is reason to celebrate in the rocker room again. Great job guys! 

JUNIOR DIVISION: let’s all hope for a speedy recovery for Flyer’s sniper Sean McKeown who is nursing a broken leg from Fridays action. We all feel for you, Sean, and hope you heal up quickly. Hate hearing about these injuries. 

FLYERS 7 REDWINGS 4: Ryan Haslam all cheering for the Flyers lately. 2 wins in their last 3 games has the team running on all cylinders. Haslam scored a pair of goals5 others also bulged the twine as the Flyers fended off the Redwings 7-4. Redwings Walter Blagdon did everything but drive the team bus home, scoring 3 in a losing cause. David “Sherlock” Holmes solved Flyers goalkeeper Bruce “Best” Buynink for the Other Wings goal. Someone owes Buynink dinner or something, this guy made several 10-bell saves for the victory. 

BRUINS 4 OILERS 1: When Luca LaPorta has the puck, no one gets up and heads to the concession stand for a bag of popcorn and a cola. The Bruins rookie seems to have it all figured out on the ice, scoring a pair of beauts in his team’s 4-1 win over the Oil. Ross “I’m The King Of” LaCasse scored the lone goal for the Oilers who have dropped 2 straight but don’t worry about these guys, they will be just fine. A simple bump in the road, that’s all.  

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION: The Blackhawks are a model of consistency, it’s not easy to poke holes in the way these guys are playing lately. On the flipside, don’t count out any team in this division. Each team is loaded with talent and anything can happen before the end of the long season. 

BLACKHAWKS 4 BRUINS 0: Bruins netminder Tim Visser has had the Hawks number so far this season. Hawk players were seen before the game performing witchcraft in hope of getting the puck past him. It must’ve worked as the rolled past the B’s 4-0 in front of a loud Hawks crowd. Marc “Saved By The” Bellhumeur was all jacked up on Mountain Dew, scoring a pair and adding an assist for the winners. Shawn James chipped in with a pair of apples while Brad “Berlin Wall” Ballman turned aside 34 shots for the bagel. Bruins had their chances. Captain Wayne Sliwinski had 9 shots on goal and 4 penalty minutes to make his presence felt.  

CANADIENS 4 FLYERS 3: The Flyers came out of the gates with urgency. Captain Jason Hoffman is a lightning rod for the Flyer fanbase. His constant pursuit of the puck reminds me of my cat Nuffers when we get the laser pointer out in the living room on an uneventful Sunday morning. Flyers fell inches short, falling 4-3 to those pesky Canadiens. Habs Wayne “Hitman” Hartwell scored a goal and the tandem of Bill “Aluminum” Foley and Mike DesRorges continue to fill up the game sheet as per usual with a goal and an assist each. Captain Mike Miscio also tallied for the winners. He is in his contract year and will be seeking a drastic pay raise in the off season. We will follow any developments as they unfold.  

Masters DIVISION:

FLYERS 7 FLAMES 2: The Flyers put a halt to a 3-game losing streak as they extinguished the Flames 7-2.  Scoring sensation Dale Brons played the part of the snow plow driver burying the end your driveway the second you thought you were done shoveling. 5 goals for Brons and that’s the ballgame. Ken Wiersma mittens added 3 assists as the Flyers didn’t take their foot off the breaks all night. At the other end of the ice, Jason Anderson did all he could, scoring both goals for the Flames. The puck was bouncing around like a tennis ball on a rockpile. Fortunately, it bounced the right way for the Flyers. 

STARS 5 BRUINS 3: Bruins Troy “From The Land Of” Izlakar came to the rink ready to play. Let me tell ya, Izlakar and Chris Barratto are in sync out there, they go together like pulled pork poutine and waffles. At the end of the game, the Stars won 5-3 and have now won 2 straight. The Bruins headed back to the locker room disappointed but wiley veteran Terry Hughes told reporters they will get out Gord Bryce’s Betamax during the week and watch the game tape to see what went wrong. Hopefully Gord found the remote in the sofa. Expect a more spirited effort this weekend. Glad I won’t be on the receiving end of that game! 

BLACKHAWKS 4 KINGS 1: Stick tap to the Hawks. First win of the season and they celebrated accordingly. Brian Deanes from the top rope!!! The Hawks goaltender stopped 41 saves for the solid win between the pipes. Nick Miscione has the energy of a Bermese mountain dog. 2 goals to propel his team to the victory and continues to establish himself amongst the best in the league. I told you last week these guys would turn things around. Dump and Chase: this style of play has been going on since we started walking upright. A different strategy certainly helped the Blackhawks on this night. 

SHARKS 3 REDWINGS 0: Betway had the under/over at 5.5, these 2 teams fooled them. Quite a defensive battle as Sharks held off the Redwings 3-0. Once again, Tymen Edelkoort showed fans why he was signed to a 4 year, 55-million dollar deal in the off-season. His eyes get as big as pie plates when the puck enters his zone. Sidebar story was Gord Johnson scoring the eventual game winning goal for the Sharks. Teammates liked the energy Johnson came to the arena with. His locker room presence, along with the DiGiovanni Brothers weekly banter amongst themselves makes for quality entertainment. Their pre-game meal of 4-cheese Italian Cheez-Its is something never heard of but it seems to work. Just an FYI, Netflix film crews have been following the Sharks around on and off the ice and will have a 4-part series airing some time in 2022, should be interesting, can’t wait. 

Well that’s about all from this end of the ice. Feel like buying shares in SCOHA? All payments can be directed to my Hotmail account :) Have a great rest of the week, fellas. See you at the rink.  

Chris Marttila