THIS WEEK IN SCOHA – November 2nd, 2021

1 out of 4 players’ gear is starting to smell like cheese. 4 weeks into the season and the 19-month gear air-out is wearing off in a hurry. The cold winter is coming so that means our hockey bags will be out in the garage or just staying in the back of the truck all week. Not good times.

Some teams have already found their groove, some are wearing out the VCR going over game footage from the week before. Let’s rip open the envelope from last week’s action and see what shook down at the Quad… truth be told, we had some newspaper reporters on hand from the North York Mirror, Porcupine Bugle and the Flin Flon Reminder to take in all the action.

JUNIOR DIVISION:

OILERS 8 REDWINGS 1: I have heavy knowledge from the packed media booth that the Oilers brought a case of Hawaiian Punch soda into the room for extra energy. It paid off and then some as they rolled to an 8-1 win over the Redwings. The scorekeeper ran out of ink so let’s just say more than a few players tallied a point. Oilers captain Steve Ditta good job getting his team prepared through the week. They have won 3 straight and have no desire to take the foot off the pedal anytime soon.

BRUINS 4 FLYERS 0: This game was pretty intense, just like camping. A spirited affair saw the Bruins shut out the Flyers 4-bagel. Flyers Blaine “Place Your” Betzold spent more time in the box then the day I brought my kitten home from the barn for crying out loud. Players from both sides dove into the Halloween candy early, making for some hyper play from start to finish. Steve Cuthbert is the president of the goalie unions club. He can get off the sofa in 8 minutes notice and get to the rink ready to play. He can eat a mixed sub (no onions) on the way and have his goalie pads buckled up before pulling into the damn parking lot. That Dino Laporta can put the puck in the net eh fellas. 2 more goals as he switched to jersey #19, the number Joe Thornton wore when he was a Bruin.

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

BRUINS 8 FLYERS 4: The Flyers had 3 guys on their bench. They were more tired than a pair of dentures after a cold buffet. Brock Hotrum dropped 8 pounds this game but gained them back when he ate a few Coffee Crisps when he got home. Wayne Sliwinski showed up for a while before getting tossed like a paper airplane midway through the 3rd period after getting 3 penalties. He said post game that he was the only one that got some hot water in the showers. Three Bruins scored a pair og goals each for the winners while Jim “Cheech” Marentette lit the lamp twice for the Flyers.

BLACKHAWKS 3 CANADIENS 1: Spare goalie Wayne Clark played a solid game between the pipes for the Hawks as they won their 3rd out of 4 to start the campaign, 3-1 over the Habs. Tim Pettitt wears white 3d glasses on the ice where they can tell him through small speakers where the puck will go 5 seconds in advance. He scored 2 goals so they work. Shawn James set up a pair of goals for the winners while team captain Paul “Sick Paws” McGraw played a steady game on the blueline, keeping the Canadiens frustrated all night. Bill “Tin” Foley replied for the Canadiens in a losing cause.

MASTERS DIVISION:

REDWINGS 6 FLYERS 1: Larry Litzgus, one of the best names in pro hockey, scored 2 goals and added 2helpers as the redwings soared by the Flyers 6-1 in front of an announced crowd of 18,900. It was the first Shoppers Drug Mart buy 1 ticket, get 25 free promotion night. The arena staff are still cringing after having to sweep up all the spilled popcorn in the stands. Flyers Pat Sergi scored the lone goal for the Flyers who are 2-2 after 4 games.

SHARKS 4 BLACKHAWKS 0: Dave Cathcart tore up the ice. Arena crews were pressed into action to repair it so the game could continue. He scored a pair of goals to lift the Sharks to a 4-0 whitewash of the Hawks. Tymen Edelkoort with two o’s turned away 39 saves for the shutout and the game puck. No alarm bells just yet for the 0-4 hawks. Bill Kircos will have the team practicing hard all week before their next game.

BRUINS 7 FLAMES 3: Gord “The Bryce is Right” just might win the GM of the year as early predictions dictate. A big 7-3 win over arch-rival Flames was the highest rated TV ratings since 1983, a promising stat as we all are getting back to the new normal. The scoring was handed out like candy with several Bruins hitting the sheet throughout the night. When was the last time Dave Armstrong went home without getting at least one point? Good grief. And that Terry Hughes ain’t no slouch. He scored a goal and added 2 apples for the winning side. The B’s have no won 3 straight and these guys are my early favourites to win the cup. You heard it here first folks…..

KINGS 5 STARS 1: Joe Locicero put 2-sided tape on his goalie pads for extra stickiness. Turned out to be the TSN play of the game as the Kings won their first game of the season, a big 5-1 win over the Stars. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Guy “Gillette track 2” Shaver who set up 3 goals after someone loosened the lid on his water bottle before he took a big sip. He wasn’t too happy but good thing for the Kings he took it out on the Stars. No word on who loosened the lid but fingers are pointing to team joker Mike Vanderzee. Shaver is promising revenge.

Well that’s about all from this end of the ice. Stick tap to the arena staff getting us checked in pretty quickly and to the time keepers who are looking after the numbers each week. Try adding bacon to your team pizza and nachos up at the bar, you will thank me later…..

Chris Marttila