This Week in SCOHA - April 14th 2020

Masking the Inevitible Edition

SCOHA 2019/2020
Well the Easter Bunny in now in quarantine. Too many people got too close to him over the weekend, thanks alot, folks.
Apparently many SCOHA players are growing facial hair and baking their own bread during these troubling times. Masters Chris Baratto is going to win the ZZ Top karaoke trophy when this thing is over with his already out of control beard is now a tripping hazard. He has also started doing puzzles to pass the time but his cat keeps pawing the side pieces onto the floor.
As news hit this morning that the annual SCOHA golf tournament has been put in the bunker for this year, Intermediate Flyers rep Dave Wichman was pretty upset at the decision. Despite many broken windows in his backyard, he has fine tuned his golf game and was ready to show off his new skills out on the fairway. Meanwhile, Masters Bill Kircos was excited to show off his new plaid capris at the big golf day but will have to put those back in the drawer until next year.
Easter was a time for us players to break out our kitchen skills to help out at home. Not sure if anyone saw the story on CHCH News but Sharks speedster Guy Shaver almost burned the block down after he fell asleep and forgot about the turkey in the oven. Lost are all his old WWF thumb-wrestlers as well as the complete Bee Gees record collection he cherished so much. Fire marshalls are still investigating the blaze but thankfully, due to the broccoli-like odours coming from his hockey bag, his gear was not damaged. To make matters worse, no one went online to join his online Zoom party he set up over the weekend.
Let’s all hope our league goaltenders are staying in good health, remember, you are an essential service to our league! Strength & Conditioning pamphlets are being assembled for our players who wish to keep in tip top shape during the pandemic. Not sure which shape it will result in but we are here to help you get through this. #scohastrong
On that note, I hope everyone is keeping well. I have started watching Bloodline on Netflix. I give it 4 bananas out of 5. Give it a chance if you are done watching the tiger idiot, you won’t be disappointed. 
Chris Marttila

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