This Week in SCOHA – October 22nd, 2019

This weekly blog should be interesting, I am home sick and I’ve been sipping on a vintage 2006 NyQuill. Let’s uncork what’s been happening on the ice…

JUNIOR DIVISION:

While we were fighting over who got the one wing on the utility turkey, these guys played games on Friday the 11th.

REDWINGS 5 FLYERS 3: The Redwing’s are heating up like my temperature right about now.  3 straight wins as they shot down the Hawks 7-2 back on the 11th, then this past weekend, they knocked off the Flyers 5-3. Someone ask this Dino Laporta kid what his pre-game meal is for crying out loud. He had another 2 goals and an assist, that makes 13 goals in 7 games! He will be demanding a 10 year max deal in the summer, just watch. Flyers had a pair of snipes from Ryan Haslam who is also on fire, tied for the league point race with Laporta, both have 17 points.

OILERS 4 BRUINS 1: Oilers rebounded after 2 straight losses to upend the visiting Bruins 4-1. Five different players lit the lamp for the winners while Kyle “bluefin” Tunis reeled in a goal for the Bruins. (Note: I actually googled “types of tuna”)

Bruins are w-l-w-l-w-l in their past 6 games. Proline will have them to win this week, just you wait and see…

BLACKHAWKS 4 PENGUINS 2: The Hawks must’ve liked the timekeeper’s smile as they served 5 minor penalties but prevailed 4-2 over the Penguins. Mike Troback was a mountain out there, scoring a pair en route to the victory. Hawks’ Kyle Oswald is well on his way to the Marty McSorley penalty minute champ, adding another 4 to his tally. Way to go Kyle!

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

CANADIENS 4 PENGUINS 0: Mike “Hit And” Miscio has his team running on all cylinders, sitting atop the Intermediate standings. 5 wins and 1 loss with a defensive core that can get themselves out of more trouble than O.J. flippin Simpson. A 4-0 whitewash of the powerhouse Penguins has everyone considering these guys as legitimate contenders for the cup. Someone throw a clean black sock around Bill Templeman’s eyes while he plays so we can get a puck past him. Arms flailing like the guy that thinks he runs an orchestra. Bill “Aluminum” Foley keeps wrapping around pucks and putting them in the cheese drawer. Another 2 more dingers for the Habs. Watch out for these guys.

LEAFS 8 BLACKHAWKS 5: Another tough one for the Hawks. Feel bad for these guys. Their team bus is in need of some repair. Good thing they are getting these losses out of the way early. No one is taking them lightly, and they are going to start bringing Red Bulls into the room for pre-game boosts. Nino Magliaro gets the best pre-game meals. Energy stuffed shells and tomato sauce made from scratch. 3 goals for Nino as his Leafs blanked the Hawks 4-0.

BRUINS 5 FLYERS 4: The Flyers injury bug has hit them like a bad cloud outside the Taco Bell bathroom. 5 were missing as they fell short 5-4 to the pesky Bruins. Credit the Bruins tumultuous forecheck led by promising young upstart Wayne Slewinski. He had a pair of goals to lead the way. Spare player Dino Laporta had a pair for the Flyers who slept well Sunday night. Back to the drawing board for this Sunday’s game against the 1st place Canadiens at 7pm. Bring the kids.

MASTERS DIVISION:

BRUINS 4 STARS 2: A battle of the 2 top teams saw a spirited affair from the opening faceoff. Four different Bruins scored as the Bruins beat the league leaders 4-2. Gord Bryce had more trips than Cheech and Chong, racking up a pair of tripping penalties for the winners. Stars got a potential goal of the year from captain Chris Barratto who turned that puck into a quick $38 on Kijiji after the game… signed of course.

FLYERS 5 FLAMES 1: With their top scorer nursing an injury, the Flyers had a player’s only meeting before the game. They agreed to treat every shift like game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals. They are now only 3 points out of 1st place. They brought in old hockey cards for motivation. They played angry Metallica songs on their phones in the room. Big win 5-1 over the Flames. Five separate players ignited the Flyers who played like a team on a mission.

REDWINGS 4 KINGS 2: Redwings got a game for the ages from Terry Gudgeon who saucer-passed 3 assists to help his Redwings get their 1st W of the season, 4-2 over the Kings. Gudgeon explained that he re-taped his stick and drank 3 double-doubles before the game as why he is all of a sudden in the discussions for team leader in points. I called it last week, folks…. This Redwing team is going to make a charge up the standings in a hurry. $500 they make the playoffs.

BLACKHAWKS 2 SHARKS 1: I’ve seen a lot of goaltenders run clinics out there but this was just ridiculous! Tymen Edelkoort and Brian Deanes were like 2 duelling piano players in a western bar. In the end, the Hawks caged the Sharks 2-1. Fans waited outside for autographs after the game but both teams snuck out the back door outside room 23. Terry Gudgeon was asked by reporters about the fan snub and chimed in “50/50 draws are barely breaking 8 bucks! We need more fans at the rink! This won’t help….”

Well before I set a record for amount of times blowing my nose while writing a blog, that’s all from this end of the ice. Have a great rest of the week, see everyone at the rink this weekend!

Chris Marttila