This Week in SCOHA –September 10th, 2019

We are off and running! Several players changed teams over the off-season while some teams have their deck chairs somewhat in the same spot. Let’s dive into week one of action…

JUNIOR DIVISION:
OILERS 5 FLYERS 3: The Haslam’s showed their usual minestrone of moves out on the ice but it wasn’t enough as the Flyers lost 5-3 to the Oilers. Alfonso Tinebro fired home a pair for the winners while three different players tallied for the Flyers. Stick tap to Gabriella the timekeeper for the most neatest penmanship on the game sheets, almost looked like the numbers were typed for crying out loud..

BRUINS 7 PENGUINS 2: Kirk Blancher and Peter Tompkins both sniped a pair as the Bruins got out of the gate with a convincing 7-2 win over the Penguins. The Pens ran out of ink early in this one as the Bruins scored 4 goals in the first period. Cory “Monty” Hall set up 3 goals for the winners.

REDWINGS 10 BLACKHAWKS 3: I will say it right now, Dino Laporta backyarda will win the scoring title in the junior division. The guy is a damn unicorn out there, showing no off season rust scoring 4 goals and adding an apple as his Redwings peed on the Hawks parade 10-3. Hawks’ Ron Cybalski did all he could, scoring a hatty in a losing cause. 

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:
CANADIENS 3 PENGUINS 2: The Penguins are heavy favourites to take home the cup but the Canadiens wanted nothing to do with that shade. Make the final 3-2 Habs. Bill “Aluminum” Foley was a litigating factor in this game. A jam-packed crowd of 4 watched this guy control the play in both ends of the ice.
When the horn sounded, the Habs packed the Pens into an uber x and sent them on their way.

LEAFS 4 BLACKHAWKS 2: Alan “Pickled” Herron scored twice as the Leafs fed the Hawks a 4-2 loss. Garnet Wilson opened up a can on the Hawks, making several key stops for the victory. Brock Hotrum scored both Hawk goals in his first game in the white red and black. We spoke to Hotrum post game and all he said was his team had fun no matter if they won or lost then urged his team to go up to the bar afterwards for a cold glass of milk.

BRUINS 3 FLYERS 2: The Flyers took it off the pills in this one. Bruins had spare goaltender Tony between the piped and he looked like Animal from the Muppets behind the drums. Glove save after glove save as the Bruins, minus their captain Wayne Slewinski, took down the Flyers 3-2. Back to the drawing board for the Flyers as they will go over game film and get ready for the Canadiens this weekend.

MASTERS DIVISION:
FLYERS 7 SHARKS 6: Dave Armstrong is going to score a hundred points this season with a black sock covering his eyes. He scored 5 and added a shiny apple as his Flyers hung on to spear the Sharks 7-6.
Larry Litzgus lit the lamp 3 times for the Sharks who had their chances, just fell a bit short. We asked Sharks Guy Shaver about Armstrong’s game: “Well Shaver me timbers, that guy is damn good!”

FLAMES 5 REDWINGS 3: Mike Vanderzee had 2 cherry pre-game Gatorades which made a difference as the Flames beat the Redwings 5-3. He was like CityTv... everywhere! 

BRUINS 3 KINGS 2: Gord “the Bryce is Right” scored the game winner as the big bad Bruins staved off the Kings 3-2 in front of a packed house. Peter Subar chipped in with a goal and an assist for the winners while Tony Vastano and Alastair Kermack scored for the Kings who, despite only playing one game,  are guaranteeing a win this Sunday for all their fans. 

STARS 4 BLACKHAWKS 2: Dale Brons was all over the ice like a moth on a porchlight. He scored 2 beauts then helped load the team bus as the Stars beat the Hawks 4-2. Stars goalie Alex Greychuck played 2 games for SCOHA then raced down the mountain and played a third game at Gateway Arena. This guy must’ve been more tired than a pair of dentures after a cold buffet but you know what… he would do it again in a second.

My Jolt Cola 3 Stars of the Week go to:
Junior Division: Dino Laporta, Redwings
Intermediate Division: Alan Herron, Leafs
Masters Division: Dave Armstrong, Flyers

Great start to the season, a lot of SCOHA fans put dents in their couches watching all the action. All 3 divisions will be like a meat grinder all season long. Can’t wait to report all the action. Team reps PLEASE remember to fill out the name’s on the game sheet with jersey numbers, this week was a gongshow trying to figure things out. I hope to have the player stats done by end of week. 

That’s all from this end of the ice. Have a great rest of the week, see you all Sunday!

Chris Marttila