This Week in SCOHA – December 19th, 2018

Just another day on the beach for the usual point-getters this past weekend as the rivalries are warming up before the new year. Stick tap of the week goes to Master’s Blackhawks Bob “Deep Fryer” Schweyer returned to the lineup and skated like a deer running through the woods, making his way onto the gamesheet, albeit a penalty.

Welcome back, Bob!



PENGUINS 7 OILERS 4: The Oilers started fast out of the gate this season but are in need of some bridge repair as they have struggled of late. Hey that rhymed... At any rate, Penguins had points from everyone but the arena mop guy as they climb within 4 points of the league leaders. Mike Haslam added a goal and 2 apples and newcomer Jay Demitroff chipped in with a goal and 3 assists. Add my name to the bucket of those thinking this Penguin team has all the parts to make a run at the cup this year. 65 goals leads the damn league in that department and they aren’t letting the foot off the gas any time soon. Oilers’ Steve Ditta did all he could with a goal and a helper in a losing cause.


REDWINGS 5 BLACKHAWKS 2: Redwings’ Steve Cromwell drove the team bus and made no stops along the way, scoring 2 and saucering a beaut for an assist as the Wings took care of the Hawks 5-2. Wings’ Yves “Never Miss” Bisson tallied his 1st point of the campaign, a damn swell assist for the winners while Steve “We The” North added his 2nd goal of the year. Hawks had no answer for the Wings goalie Lane Dunlop but Nick Troback managed to score his 2nd of the season. Give Blackhawks Chris “You’re Not Gunna” Baliva credit for another strong game, this guy never stops hustling, his cardiovascular endurance puts us all to shame...


FLYERS 4 BRUINS 0: Somebody call 911, Flyers’ Dave “Homes on” Holmes is on fire! 2 huge goals helped the Flyers take off, 4-0 against a tired Bruins team. Bruins’ Nick Mol spoke to media after the game saying their team bus didn’t roll into the hotel until 5am on gameday and there were carolers knocking on hotel room doors at 10am. Flyers Charlie “Officer” Polizzi drove in a pair of assists for the winners. Cheers to Al Ringer for the shutout! He took the game puck home for the mantle.



BLACKHAWKS 2 CANADIENS 1: Habs’ Rob Baker was lucky he put his laundry away in time to head out to the rink. Too bad his socks didn’t match, threw him off all game, as the Hawks won a big game 2-1. Jeff Davis led the way with a goal and a shiny apple for the winners while the Habs set up a gofundme page to try and raise the puck past a determined Hawks goalie, Steve Cuthbert. This guys game is as big as the prairie sunset. Definitely a wise draft choice.


LEAFS 3 BRUINS 0: Leafs were missing half their team, they all fit in a damn Uber for crying out loud. Didn’t matter, they beat the Bruins 3-bagel. Guy Romeo had a few espresso’s pre-game and went out there on a mission. Scored a goal and grabbed a helper, nothing short of spectacular. Bruins held an optional skate Monday to try and repair things. It’s still a long season, these guys will start rolling up teams and tossing them in the back of moving vans like carpets before too long, just wait, I called it.


FLYERS 4 PENGUINS 4: Yours truly wrapped up the tying goal with a buck 20 left in the game as we tied the buzzsaws of the league 4-4. These guys have been ripping it up lately, it was good to grab the point and load up the bus and get out of there. Flyers’ Dave “The Mayor of SCOHA” Wichman was out there celebrating his 35th birthday. He ate the candles and blew out the cake, jumping into the play at every given opportunity. After the game, he layed under the Christmas tree upstairs at the bar to remind his team he is a gift! Pens’ Dave Armstrong shredded some more cheese, adding 2 more goals to his totals, definitely not old or marble.



BLACKHAWKS 2 STARS 2: Welcome Back, Kotter! Hawks Bob Schweyer laced up the twirlers after a lengthy absence and didn’t disappoint. Fans littered the ice with chants of Bobby Bobby Bobby! Every time he touched the puck. He signed autographs for the kids afterwards and fielded questions from a rather robust media scrum. Stars’ goalkeeper Brian “Mean Jeans” Deanes made several highlight-reel saves to preserve the tie. Guy Shaver with his umpteenth goal of the season. This guy is like TD Bank. Reliable. He can fill the water bottles without looking at the tap. Hawks gritty play of late landed them in the box 4 times but managed to leave the rink with a point thanks to goals from Scott Wheeler and Kevin Boyd. They hope to have Ed “Shaky” Walton back in the lineup soon but for now he is sofa-bound enjoying the Christmas Baking Championships over on Food Network. He is learning to make extra special cookies for his team...


FLYERS 3 FLAMES 1: Flames/Flyers are always a treat to watch. Both teams play so hard, the puck was seen crying after the game. Flyers John Annibale set up 2 goals while Peter Fantauzzo oscillated around the crease for a highlight reel goal for the Flames. Brought the fans to their feet.


KINGS 7 REDWINGS 1: Kings Henry “Nifty Mittens” Marfisi has kids wanting a #17 Redwings sweater this Christmas. His rookie card was spotted on Ebay for over $500. Another 2 tucks for this sharpshooter. Stick tap to Walter Iszula for his first 2 goals of the year and Charles “Hot Stove” Hostovsky for his 2nd and 3rd tallies of the year. Redwings’ Vince Mercuri continues to play out of this world, scoring the lone goal in the loss. Thanks to Wings’ goalkeeper Scott “Magic” Johnson for stopping by our table for a chat after the game. He is trying to stay positive after a few tough losses but refuses to let it affect the holiday season. He still hopes to get a pack of black socks and a hot wheels car under the tree but knows Santa has the last say on that. We discussed mid-century architecture, biomedic engineering, fossil fuel emissions and metamorphic rock shifting. Thanks for the chat, Scott! 


BRUINS 4 SHARKS 1: Bruins Joe LoCicero aka the magician of the meshed mansion shut the front door on the Sharks with a big 4-1 win. Post-game, Bruins revealed special long-sleeved team shirts to wear up at the bar and around town. Not quite the black turtle neck Dale Brons prefers to wear to the disco but they look pretty sharp. Sharks played softer than a warmed-up brie wheel on Christmas Eve but after a quick team meeting after the game, say they will be ready to play a lot harder this week.  Can anyone stop Gary Guthro? This guy is sneakier than salt and pepper. Another 2 goals for the winners.


Well that’s another SCOHA week in the books. Visit our website for individual player stats and standings. Another week before the holidays and teams are hoping to find a big win under the tree before the cat pulls it down. From this end of the ice to yours, have a safe and happy holidays, fellas. If you haven’t already, join our SCOHA Facebook page. Tons of fun.



Chris Marttila

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