NOTE: There was an error in the Intermediate and Masters schedules. The first 4 weeks are now posted and the rest will be fixed soon.

Players signed up as of August 27th 2019        

Junior   76/84   Intermediate  84/84   Masters 112/112 - a goalie is needed for Junior (Friday nights)


New incentive! Get $100 off if you register for 2 divisions. Retroactive if you have already signed up. 


Team Name Win Loss Tie Points GF GA
Bruins 1 0 0 2 7 2
RedWings 1 0 0 2 10 3
Oilers 1 0 0 2 5 3
Flyers 0 1 0 0 3 5
Penguins  0 1 0 0 2 7
BlackHawks 0 1 0 0 3 10
Team Name Win Loss Tie Points GF GA
Leafs  1 0 0 2 4 2
Canadiens 1 0 0 2 3 2
Bruins 1 0 0 2 3 2
Penguins 0 1 0 0 2 3
Flyers  0 1 0 0 2 3
BlackHawks 0 1 0 0 2 4
Team Name Win Loss Ties Points GF GA
Stars 1 0 0 2 4 2
Bruins 1 0 0 2 3 2
Flames 1 0 0 2 5 3
Flyers 1 0 0 2 7 6
Kings 0 1 0 0 2 3
BlackHawks 0 1 0 0 2 4
RedWings 0 1 0 0 3 5
Sharks 0 1 0 0 6 7

This Week in SCOHA –September 10th, 2019

We are off and running! Several players changed teams over the off-season while some teams have their deck chairs somewhat in the same spot. Let’s dive into week one of action…

OILERS 5 FLYERS 3: The Haslam’s showed their usual minestrone of moves out on the ice but it wasn’t enough as the Flyers lost 5-3 to the Oilers. Alfonso Tinebro fired home a pair for the winners while three different players tallied for the Flyers. Stick tap to Gabriella the timekeeper for the most neatest penmanship on the game sheets, almost looked like the numbers were typed for crying out loud..

BRUINS 7 PENGUINS 2: Kirk Blancher and Peter Tompkins both sniped a pair as the Bruins got out of the gate with a convincing 7-2 win over the Penguins. The Pens ran out of ink early in this one as the Bruins scored 4 goals in the first period. Cory “Monty” Hall set up 3 goals for the winners.

REDWINGS 10 BLACKHAWKS 3: I will say it right now, Dino Laporta backyarda will win the scoring title in the junior division. The guy is a damn unicorn out there, showing no off season rust scoring 4 goals and adding an apple as his Redwings peed on the Hawks parade 10-3. Hawks’ Ron Cybalski did all he could, scoring a hatty in a losing cause. 

CANADIENS 3 PENGUINS 2: The Penguins are heavy favourites to take home the cup but the Canadiens wanted nothing to do with that shade. Make the final 3-2 Habs. Bill “Aluminum” Foley was a litigating factor in this game. A jam-packed crowd of 4 watched this guy control the play in both ends of the ice.
When the horn sounded, the Habs packed the Pens into an uber x and sent them on their way.

LEAFS 4 BLACKHAWKS 2: Alan “Pickled” Herron scored twice as the Leafs fed the Hawks a 4-2 loss. Garnet Wilson opened up a can on the Hawks, making several key stops for the victory. Brock Hotrum scored both Hawk goals in his first game in the white red and black. We spoke to Hotrum post game and all he said was his team had fun no matter if they won or lost then urged his team to go up to the bar afterwards for a cold glass of milk.

BRUINS 3 FLYERS 2: The Flyers took it off the pills in this one. Bruins had spare goaltender Tony between the piped and he looked like Animal from the Muppets behind the drums. Glove save after glove save as the Bruins, minus their captain Wayne Slewinski, took down the Flyers 3-2. Back to the drawing board for the Flyers as they will go over game film and get ready for the Canadiens this weekend.

FLYERS 7 SHARKS 6: Dave Armstrong is going to score a hundred points this season with a black sock covering his eyes. He scored 5 and added a shiny apple as his Flyers hung on to spear the Sharks 7-6.
Larry Litzgus lit the lamp 3 times for the Sharks who had their chances, just fell a bit short. We asked Sharks Guy Shaver about Armstrong’s game: “Well Shaver me timbers, that guy is damn good!”

FLAMES 5 REDWINGS 3: Mike Vanderzee had 2 cherry pre-game Gatorades which made a difference as the Flames beat the Redwings 5-3. He was like CityTv... everywhere! 

BRUINS 3 KINGS 2: Gord “the Bryce is Right” scored the game winner as the big bad Bruins staved off the Kings 3-2 in front of a packed house. Peter Subar chipped in with a goal and an assist for the winners while Tony Vastano and Alastair Kermack scored for the Kings who, despite only playing one game,  are guaranteeing a win this Sunday for all their fans. 

STARS 4 BLACKHAWKS 2: Dale Brons was all over the ice like a moth on a porchlight. He scored 2 beauts then helped load the team bus as the Stars beat the Hawks 4-2. Stars goalie Alex Greychuck played 2 games for SCOHA then raced down the mountain and played a third game at Gateway Arena. This guy must’ve been more tired than a pair of dentures after a cold buffet but you know what… he would do it again in a second.

My Jolt Cola 3 Stars of the Week go to:
Junior Division: Dino Laporta, Redwings
Intermediate Division: Alan Herron, Leafs
Masters Division: Dave Armstrong, Flyers

Great start to the season, a lot of SCOHA fans put dents in their couches watching all the action. All 3 divisions will be like a meat grinder all season long. Can’t wait to report all the action. Team reps PLEASE remember to fill out the name’s on the game sheet with jersey numbers, this week was a gongshow trying to figure things out. I hope to have the player stats done by end of week. 

That’s all from this end of the ice. Have a great rest of the week, see you all Sunday!

Chris Marttila

SCOHA Summer Update – July 9, 2019

Surf's up

Go ahead, have seconds at the bbq, we still have plenty of time before off-season regiments are handed out by team captain’s. With about a month before the big SCOHA Draft, several players are contacting their agents to see how much wiggle room their teams have to re-sign them or opt for free agency. Some players had great turnaround seasons last year and will be demanding bigtime cash while other’s stats sagged a bit.

Junior division Redwings workhorse Ryan Aikens has been running up and down Battlefield Park stairs every day. This guy is going to break all SCOHA point records next season, you heard it here first. Oilers captain Steve Ditta is contemplating his roster already and reports say he has had a few conversations with other teams. He is remaining tight lipped on those chats, let the speculations begin. Kawai would he mess with that roster!!!

Sub player of the year Dino Laporta has been lazing in the sun at Laporta Backyarda and hopes to play for 8 teams this upcoming year! Good player! He is the top UFA out there by a mile!

Those Haslam brothers have been upping the training. Running in circles around the pool for more leg strength. These guys are eager to start the season. They trampled opposing teams like boots on carpenter ants all last year. Looking to repeat as champs! They are like the 80’s Stastny’s…

Rumour has it some teams are ready to peel back the onion and start all over after a dismal season while others are looking to upgrade for a SCOHA dynasty team. We caught up with Intermediate Flyers chief Dave Wichman on the golf course after his team’s awful championship to the Leafs. “We didn’t finish the season the way we envisioned. We will meet with team brass and assess each player and make some decisions on draft day. I would be lying if I said my phone hasn’t been ringing but we will see what happens. We are always looking at improving our hockey club on the ice and character players in the locker room.”

Bruins Wayne Sliwinski has been running the Kenilworth stairs daily in anticipation of a rebound season. When reached for comment, he said, “No questions, I have 3 more trips of the stairs to finish in 8 minutes….”

Leafs goalie Bill Templeman was seen at a local paint ball field deflecting paint balls away with his blocker on, similar to his play most of last season.

Meanwhile, in the Master’s division, Bruins goaltender Joe Locicero has been working on his off season program, throwing a tennis ball up against the wall and catching it in his goalie glove since May. Flyers John Toth has promised he wil be using an even longer stick this upcoming season that will stretch the width of the damn rink so good luck getting around him, good grief.

Bruins’ Dale Brons was last seen at Hutch’s on the beach chirping the seagulls driving them crazy on the beach. He has been training since the last horn went so watch for a solid season from this guy.

Well that’s all the notes I have so far this off-season. We hope any injuries are healing well and we see them back on the ice and up at the canteen hanging out with all of us.


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA – May 26th, 2019

Special Golf Edition

May 25, 2019 Jim Mercanti Memorial Golf Tournament

On the eve of the 2019 Jim Mercanti Memorial Golf Tournament, players and organizers had their eyes on the CHCH weather forecast while dusting and shining up their weapons of grass destruction. Tournament morning saw clear skies as the weather gods were on our side but couldn’t promise anything later on.

Last time I used my 4 iron it was to kill a huge spider in my basement and even that took me 7 strokes...

The day started with a smooth check-in that made the Delta Hotel front desk look like a Bad News Bears practice. Pre-tournament bbq sausage and seeing all the guys again helped with the nerves of shanking the first tee-off of the day, that’s for sure….

Our foresome, unannounced as the “Sultans of Swing”, started off with some excellent play but began to taper off toward the end as we began tick checks from looking for stray golf balls in the rough that we say the wind got a hold of. Turns out a few airplane wings over at John C. Munro airport will need buffing out on Monday morning. For most of us players, we yelled “fore”, shot “six” and wrote down “five”…

Glenn Manella of Intermediate Flyers fame, had one of the shots of the day, dropping a 62 foot putt for birdie. Groundhogs escaped their homes for a quick selphie with their new golf hero. We all began singing to Glenn “I like big Putts and I don’t know why….”

Then the Storm of the Century put a small damper on the day. Clouds rolled in like a black tarp above the course. Lightning began and thank god we weren’t holding steel ro…. Oh wait…..

A hundred or so golf carts flocking back to the event tent reminded me of long weekend cleanup, trying to fit 43 empties into a 24 beer case. Absolute craziness, but we all escaped the storm unharmed. But talk about 200 wet dogs in a tent that felt like it was going to take off like Mary frikkin Poppins.

Next up was the amazing steak dinner to cap off the day. The only gristle was left back on the fairway when Masters' Scott Johnson flubbed 3 swings on the 13th. Great food with great people! I have never seen such an impressive baked potato station. Every guys dream of buckets of cheese, bacon and sour cream! We won.

Paul McGraw emcee’d the proceedings and Bill Kircos helped dole out the prizes in what was a very well-organized day. Golf claps to all that attended and those involved and to Advil for today’s couch day. Can’t wait for next year’s tournament.

Email me below with any golf day piks you would like posted……..

Chris Marttila

2018/2019 Champs

2019 Junior Champs - Penguins

2019 Int Champs - Leafs

2019 Masters Champs - Stars

Junior Championship 
Bruins  2   VS  Penguins4              
Intermediate Championship 
Leafs  7      VS    0
Masters Championship 
Flames  1     VS      Stars  2        
Gord Johnson's Pics from First Ontario Centre Games are at

SCOHA game worn jersey sets for sale!   $75 each set.

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