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This Week in SCOHA – Jan. 8th, 2019

As the regular season gets closer to playoff time, teams are getting prepared for the final push to position themselves for the playoff run.

Penguins - 7 Blackhawks - 4
The Penguins gained soul possession of 1st place by beating a depleted Blackhawk line up. The Haslam's ran the show each getting 2 goals for the winning side with Michael also adding an assist. It appeared to be a chippy affair with so many penalties that at one point the Blackhawks had more players in the sin bin then on the bench.

Bruins - 7 Oilers - 3
Another high scoring game that saw the last place Bruins move up a position from the bottom while knocking the Oilers down to 2nd place. Justin Mol was the top scorer for the Bruins with the Hat Trick. The Oilers put in a good effort in the 2nd period after being down 5 - 0 to get within 2 but just ran out of gas.

Flyers - 5 Red Wings - 3
This game was a tight one, tied 2 - 2 after the first. The Red Wings had the lead in the 2nd for just over a minute before Walter Blagdon tied it up with his 2nd goal of the game. Walter also added an assist to the game winning goal scored by Charlie Polizzi. The Flyers are now tied with the Oilers for 2nd place.

Leafs - 7 Habs - 5
A beauty battle between 2 of the original 6 teams. This was a seesaw affair with both teams exchanging goals leading to a 2 - 2 tie after one. The 2nd period was no different as both teams took turns with the lead before the Leafs slammed the door shut with 2 goals 18 seconds apart. Bob Tenison added 5 more points to his stats with the Hat Trick and 2 assists to maintain his strong lead in the scoring race. Rob Baker and Mike Miscio also had a pair of goals each for the losing side.

Bruins - 3 Penguins - 1
If this game was decided by penalties the Penguins would have won 3 - 1. Dave Armstrong opened the scoring for the Penguins and then 39 seconds later Glenn Rouse evened it back up. Rob Train scored the game winner with 4:24 seconds left in the first and then it was nap time. Not much more to say about this game.

Blackhawks - 2 Flyers - 0
The Flyers must have thought that with Chris Martilla on vacation there wasn't going to be a blog so there wasn't any point in doing anything exciting. Which is exactly what they did. If it weren't for the 2 goals by the Blackhawks the score sheet would be completely blank as there were no penalties either. 2 thumbs up to Steve Cuthbert with the shutout.

Blackhawks - 4 Bruins - 3
The Blackhawks welcomed back Ed Walton after missing a few games for knee surgery. He responded with a goal and assist to lead his team in the win. Kevin Boyd also had a pair of goals and an assist for the winning team. Dale Brons showed no ill affects from his ailing back to score a pair for the Bruins. Joe Locicero who not only holds the 2nd place position in least goals against with a 2.76 GAA. He now also leads the goalies in points after getting another assist on the Bruins 2nd goal.

Kings - 7 Stars - 2
Astronomers were left bewildered as there were no Stars to be seen on this night. King Henry owned the night with 2 goals and 2 assists to lead his team to a royal thumping. Mike Vanderzee, Munish Baranowski, and Joe Muchynski, also had 2 points each to bolster their standings in the top 10 scoring race. Walter Iszkula had a helping 'hand' with 2 points as well. Not much to say about the Stars who at one point this year were in the top 3 of the standings. The Kings look like they have a stranglehold on the President's Trophy leading all teams in all divisions with 26 points.

Sharks - 6 Flames - 2
It was Lucky 7 night as #7 Mark Shadwell had a goal and 2 assists, #17 Jim Albanese had 2 goals and an assist, # 71 Mike Archer had 2 goals, #77 Kevin Robinson had an assist, and #75 Ron Cooper had an assist. Peter Fantauzzo had 2 goals in the first to tie the game up for the Flames but were easily extinguished by the Sharks in the 2nd.

Flyers - 5 Red Wings - 0
J.J. MacNeil was the first star in the SCOHA 'Feature Game' with the big shutout as the Red Wings continue to struggle with finding the back of the net. 5 different players scored for the Flyers including Domenic Guistini who also had a pair of assists. The game was so out of reach by the midway point of the 2nd period Bruce McDonald was caught eating a hot dog on the bench while Joe Venditti was calling in his pizza and wing order to the 'Lookout Lounge'.

That's all Folks.
A big hat tip and a high five to Chris Martilla who does this every week.

This Week in SCOHA – January 3rd, 2019

Back on the ice after the Christmas break where some of us realized we are now a 2XL and brown socks and slippers are cool. Junior Penguins have put together a modest 4 game winning streak while Intermediate Canadiens have only one loss since mid- November, these guys are hotter than Wilma Flintstone in a 2 piece right now. Over on the Masters side, Vanderzee has his Kings rolling over teams like Nana rolling out the dough for her special cookies. At any rate, let’s unpack the week that was in SCOHA...



PENGUINS 4 FLYERS 0: Flyers mindset was still on the sofa watching the Hallmark specials with that annoying aunt that just won’t go home. Ross Lacasse unwrapped a can of whoop ass, scoring 2 and helping out on another as the Penguins took care of the Flyers. Felix Potvin-like performance in the nets for the Penguins who are on fire and have no intentions of sliding down the hill on their stomachs any time soon. Dave “Magic” Johnson added 3 apples for the winners.


BLACKHAWKS 4 OILERS 1: Oilers dynasty season has hit a fork in the road of late, only 1 win in their last 6 which has tightened up the standings like a jar of Grandmas homemade beets. Hawks’ Brett Rivers came to play, scoring a pair and adding an assist for the Hawks who erase a 3 game losing streak in a convincing way. Oilers will fire things up again soon, this team is built from the ground up, nationally ranked. Insane.


REDWINGS 5 BRUINS 2: Dino “Suitcase” Laporta is the fill-ins of all fill-ins. This guy wears out workboots so bad, his foot is sticking out. He pulled the team but to the rink. 2 goals and an assist helped propel the Wings to a thirs straight W and Wayne Sliwinski notched a deuce for thge winning side. For the Bruins, Hallsy added his 2nd snipe of the season in a losing cause.



With star forward Rob Baker performing in the Nutcracker down at the Grimsby Legion, the Habs were short a key guy but managed to squeak out a 3-2 win over a depleted Penguins lineup. Habs’ Mike Miscio scored 2 goals and celebrated like he’s done it more than once. Like a Sunday morning tap in for par. Easy. Penguins’ Dave Armstrong scored his umpteenth goal of the season in a losing cause.


LEAFS 2 BLACKHAWKS 2: Now every team in all 3 leagues have at least one tie. Hey what about a 3 minute 2 on 2 overtime? Just a thought. .. Hawks Lucas Warren with his 3rd dangle of the year and Gary “The Whirl” Poole added his 2nd of the campaign. Leafs Guy Romeo scored a goal for the ages with one hand on his stick, one leg in the air, and a coors light in the other hand. Impressive. He skated circles out there like a donkey being let loose on a beach. Great game!

In the nets, both goalies showed why they are Vezina Trophy candidates. More saves that the dvd box set of Baywatch.


BRUINS 5 FLYERS 4: Bruins Wayne Sliwinski is as smooth as a 70’s cigarette commercial. Another 5 point night sealed the victory against a Flyers team that had bus legs. Captain Dave Wichman added postgame, “We skated like we were in cheesecake out there.” We need to regroup, get our bearings straight and get out there next week and get the W”

Flyers Veljko Gavric scored a beaut from the slot for the Flyers in the loss. Flyers have 1 win and a few ties in 8 games and feel like we are getting shoved around the litter bin too much. Look out for a more spirited game this week.



FLYERS 7 STARS 5: Old fashioned shootout at the ok coral as the Flyers topped the Stars 7-5. Flyers Bill Paul lit it up with a 3 point effort, as did John Annibale. On the Stars side of the scoresheet, Eric Sippel and Larry Litzgus fired home a pair while Pat MacAleese added 3 helpers. Both teams filled the nets like Captain godamn Highliner. Good game, fellas.


REDWINGS 7 BLACKHAWKS 2: redwings hadn’t won since Jesus was a baby, 9 games ago. Huge effort by this hockey club got them back in the winning column. Champagne is still being cleaned off the dressing room walls. Danny Digiacinto (De Mayo) scored a pair for the Wings while Danny Gabriele had a helper hatty (3 assists). Gabriele after the game, “It’s not what you eat between Christmas and New Years, it’s what you eat between New Years and Christmas. We are turning this season around. Full off-ice regiments, we are going all the way this year! Blackhawks will go over some game film and promise to be ready for next week.


FLAMES 7 BRUINS 3: In our nationally televised game of the week, The Flames lit up the Bruins thanks to Peter “the Fonz” Fantauzzo with 3 goals and 2 assists. The Bruins got swished around like Listerine but don’t worry about these guys, they will be sniffing around at the end of the season... Stick tap to Bruins goalie Joe LoCicero with an assist on the Bruins 1st goal. Big red shiny apple for the corner of his desk.


KINGS 4 SHARKS 2: Big crowd on hand to watch this steam bomb of a game. Shark’s Jim Albanese played like he had flares behind his skates. Fit him for an orange onesie, he is a crook out there with the puck, He scored a dandy and added a helper for his team but it wasn’t enough, Kings win this one 4-2, who have won 4 in a row and are poised to go on another streak. Kings Joe “Ohhh you Didn’t have to but Thank You Very “Muchynski tallied 2 goals for the winners.


Well that’s all from this end of the ice, I am on vacation for a bit, Masters Stars Chris Barratto will be writing up the blog of all blogs next week so show him some love. Next 3 or 4 games will be intense, just like camping. Good luck this weekend, guys.


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA – December 19th, 2018

Just another day on the beach for the usual point-getters this past weekend as the rivalries are warming up before the new year. Stick tap of the week goes to Master’s Blackhawks Bob “Deep Fryer” Schweyer returned to the lineup and skated like a deer running through the woods, making his way onto the gamesheet, albeit a penalty.

Welcome back, Bob!



PENGUINS 7 OILERS 4: The Oilers started fast out of the gate this season but are in need of some bridge repair as they have struggled of late. Hey that rhymed... At any rate, Penguins had points from everyone but the arena mop guy as they climb within 4 points of the league leaders. Mike Haslam added a goal and 2 apples and newcomer Jay Demitroff chipped in with a goal and 3 assists. Add my name to the bucket of those thinking this Penguin team has all the parts to make a run at the cup this year. 65 goals leads the damn league in that department and they aren’t letting the foot off the gas any time soon. Oilers’ Steve Ditta did all he could with a goal and a helper in a losing cause.


REDWINGS 5 BLACKHAWKS 2: Redwings’ Steve Cromwell drove the team bus and made no stops along the way, scoring 2 and saucering a beaut for an assist as the Wings took care of the Hawks 5-2. Wings’ Yves “Never Miss” Bisson tallied his 1st point of the campaign, a damn swell assist for the winners while Steve “We The” North added his 2nd goal of the year. Hawks had no answer for the Wings goalie Lane Dunlop but Nick Troback managed to score his 2nd of the season. Give Blackhawks Chris “You’re Not Gunna” Baliva credit for another strong game, this guy never stops hustling, his cardiovascular endurance puts us all to shame...


FLYERS 4 BRUINS 0: Somebody call 911, Flyers’ Dave “Homes on” Holmes is on fire! 2 huge goals helped the Flyers take off, 4-0 against a tired Bruins team. Bruins’ Nick Mol spoke to media after the game saying their team bus didn’t roll into the hotel until 5am on gameday and there were carolers knocking on hotel room doors at 10am. Flyers Charlie “Officer” Polizzi drove in a pair of assists for the winners. Cheers to Al Ringer for the shutout! He took the game puck home for the mantle.



BLACKHAWKS 2 CANADIENS 1: Habs’ Rob Baker was lucky he put his laundry away in time to head out to the rink. Too bad his socks didn’t match, threw him off all game, as the Hawks won a big game 2-1. Jeff Davis led the way with a goal and a shiny apple for the winners while the Habs set up a gofundme page to try and raise the puck past a determined Hawks goalie, Steve Cuthbert. This guys game is as big as the prairie sunset. Definitely a wise draft choice.


LEAFS 3 BRUINS 0: Leafs were missing half their team, they all fit in a damn Uber for crying out loud. Didn’t matter, they beat the Bruins 3-bagel. Guy Romeo had a few espresso’s pre-game and went out there on a mission. Scored a goal and grabbed a helper, nothing short of spectacular. Bruins held an optional skate Monday to try and repair things. It’s still a long season, these guys will start rolling up teams and tossing them in the back of moving vans like carpets before too long, just wait, I called it.


FLYERS 4 PENGUINS 4: Yours truly wrapped up the tying goal with a buck 20 left in the game as we tied the buzzsaws of the league 4-4. These guys have been ripping it up lately, it was good to grab the point and load up the bus and get out of there. Flyers’ Dave “The Mayor of SCOHA” Wichman was out there celebrating his 35th birthday. He ate the candles and blew out the cake, jumping into the play at every given opportunity. After the game, he layed under the Christmas tree upstairs at the bar to remind his team he is a gift! Pens’ Dave Armstrong shredded some more cheese, adding 2 more goals to his totals, definitely not old or marble.



BLACKHAWKS 2 STARS 2: Welcome Back, Kotter! Hawks Bob Schweyer laced up the twirlers after a lengthy absence and didn’t disappoint. Fans littered the ice with chants of Bobby Bobby Bobby! Every time he touched the puck. He signed autographs for the kids afterwards and fielded questions from a rather robust media scrum. Stars’ goalkeeper Brian “Mean Jeans” Deanes made several highlight-reel saves to preserve the tie. Guy Shaver with his umpteenth goal of the season. This guy is like TD Bank. Reliable. He can fill the water bottles without looking at the tap. Hawks gritty play of late landed them in the box 4 times but managed to leave the rink with a point thanks to goals from Scott Wheeler and Kevin Boyd. They hope to have Ed “Shaky” Walton back in the lineup soon but for now he is sofa-bound enjoying the Christmas Baking Championships over on Food Network. He is learning to make extra special cookies for his team...


FLYERS 3 FLAMES 1: Flames/Flyers are always a treat to watch. Both teams play so hard, the puck was seen crying after the game. Flyers John Annibale set up 2 goals while Peter Fantauzzo oscillated around the crease for a highlight reel goal for the Flames. Brought the fans to their feet.


KINGS 7 REDWINGS 1: Kings Henry “Nifty Mittens” Marfisi has kids wanting a #17 Redwings sweater this Christmas. His rookie card was spotted on Ebay for over $500. Another 2 tucks for this sharpshooter. Stick tap to Walter Iszula for his first 2 goals of the year and Charles “Hot Stove” Hostovsky for his 2nd and 3rd tallies of the year. Redwings’ Vince Mercuri continues to play out of this world, scoring the lone goal in the loss. Thanks to Wings’ goalkeeper Scott “Magic” Johnson for stopping by our table for a chat after the game. He is trying to stay positive after a few tough losses but refuses to let it affect the holiday season. He still hopes to get a pack of black socks and a hot wheels car under the tree but knows Santa has the last say on that. We discussed mid-century architecture, biomedic engineering, fossil fuel emissions and metamorphic rock shifting. Thanks for the chat, Scott! 


BRUINS 4 SHARKS 1: Bruins Joe LoCicero aka the magician of the meshed mansion shut the front door on the Sharks with a big 4-1 win. Post-game, Bruins revealed special long-sleeved team shirts to wear up at the bar and around town. Not quite the black turtle neck Dale Brons prefers to wear to the disco but they look pretty sharp. Sharks played softer than a warmed-up brie wheel on Christmas Eve but after a quick team meeting after the game, say they will be ready to play a lot harder this week.  Can anyone stop Gary Guthro? This guy is sneakier than salt and pepper. Another 2 goals for the winners.


Well that’s another SCOHA week in the books. Visit our website for individual player stats and standings. Another week before the holidays and teams are hoping to find a big win under the tree before the cat pulls it down. From this end of the ice to yours, have a safe and happy holidays, fellas. If you haven’t already, join our SCOHA Facebook page. Tons of fun.



Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA – December 11th, 2018


No games this week but I had a chance to chat with Bruins goalkeeper Roman Bratovz up at the Hot Stove Lounge and we chatted about his past SCOHA achievements and had some laughs over a few Carlsberg’s. Roman’s resume boasts 2 league MVP awards and 2-time Bruins MVP trophies. His skin is still peeling from his trip to the Dominican where he signed autographs at the local school where he handed out pencils like they were going out of style. He is well known at that resort’s swim-up bar where miraculously, he didn’t have to leave the pool all afternoon to relieve himself in the bathroom. Great job, Roman, have a great 2nd half of the season and thanks for stopping by to chat.



CANADIENS 4 FLYERS 2: Appears both refs missed out on the Hamilton Santa Clause parade so they had one themselves over at rink 4. A total of 12 minor penalties were called as the parade to the box slowed the game down to a crawl. More whistles than Pamela Anderson jogging past a construction site. Habs’ Dave Braid and Rob Baker chipped in with 2 points each while Flyers Veljko “Maverick” Gavric scored his 2nd of the year, going bottom left corner on a snipe.

Most of us got a chance to talk to the penalty box scorekeeper and thanked her for her hard work and dedication this year.


BRUINS 3 BLACKHAWKS 2: Bruins’ Dino “Good Job” Guidice found the net for the short-handed game winner as the Bruins won a thriller 3-2 over arch-rival Blackhawks. Wayne Slewinski also helped out the winners with a goal and a shiny apple as the Brew Crew continue to climb the standings. I took the “over” on my Proline ticket on this game, that was 10 bucks not well spent. Hawks’ John Hewitt did his part, scoring 2 but his team just couldn’t solve the Bruins smoldering defence, like running into a buzzsaw.


PENGUINS 8 LEAFS 2: Pens’ Dave Armstrong gets the gold star of the week to stick on his hockey helmet after notching 4 goals as they won a squeeker 8-2 over the Leafs. This guy is money. They had to open the roof on the team bus on the way home.  If this guy sits on his wallet, he’ll break the ceiling he is so money. In Leafs defence, they were missing 5 guys including goalie Bill “Temple of Doom” Templeman and scoring hero Bob Tenison. Players held a closed door meeting afterwards. Guy Romeo emerged first but refused comment with the media.



BRUINS 7 REDWINGS 1: Bruins John Toth skated circles around the ice like he was playing with a Spirograph set. Him and teammate Jimmy Bartlett both went top cheese for their 2ng goals of the season for the win. John “Get in the” Carvalho added 3 assists for the winners. Redwings got a goal from Vince Mercuri who is playing out of this world this year.


FLAMES 3 BLACKHAWKS 1: Flames’ Frank “the Tank” Jambrosich’s name barely fits on the back of his jersey but the puck certainly fills the net as he scored 2 big league goals in a 3-1 victory. What a game as the rest of us watched from the bar. Fans are starting to invest in this Flames team, the landscape has shifted and these guys are thinking championship, look out masters division!


KINGS 4 FLYERS 3: Kings’ Henry “Quick Release” Marfisi continues to pick up loose change and throw it into the Coinstar machine. 2 more goals for this guy who is playing on a different playing field right now. Joe “thank you very” Muchynski is also having a banner campaign for the Kings, also scoring 2 as they snuck by the Flyers 4-3. Flyers goal scoring machine John Annibale was held to 2 goals as he was all over the place like moths on a porchlight. Great game by both teams.


SHARKS 6 STARS 4: Mike Archer spearheaded the drive with 2 roof jobs as the Sharks forward went around defencemen like they were grandma’s in the left lane. Stars’ Guy Shaver with another 2 goals, wow. The only way to stop this guy is if his car runs out of gas on the way to the damn rink. This game had everything, should’ve seen Stars’ Chris Baratto’s saucer pass over 5 sticks for the ripest apple of the season on their 4th goal of the game. Bar staff are still cleaning up all the popcorn off the floor after that one.


Anyways, that’s all from this end of the ice. Heads up, if you are thinking about flooring it up at the bar after the game, ride program is all over the place like white on rice. Don’t want to see anyone in hot water. Full player stats will be posted on our website and there are a few masters schedule changes posted on their also.


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA – Dec. 4th, 2018

Another action-packed week of SCOHA hockey that has many fans sitting on the edge of their sofa’s.  Just a heads up, message your team rep if you detect any gamesheet errors and have them email me before the 8pm Monday deadline so I can fix it before posting the weekly update. That being said, let’s dive in and take a closer look at this past week’s results before I forget all these cheesy one-liners...



BRUINS 6 BLACKHAWKS 2: Glenn Erskine handed out 3 apples and Andrew Clark tucked away 2 goals as the Bruins took care of the Blackhawks 6-2 on Friday night while the rest of us were home putting up the tree. 3 wins in a row for the B’s as they are hitting their stride at the right time. 2 points now separate 2nd and 5th place in a jammed up Junior Division race. Blackhawks’ Mike Troback had his work boots on, collecting 2 goals for the Hawks who had a modest 4 game winning streak snapped.


OILERS 6 FLYERS 5: Oilers subbed in Dino LaPorta (backyarda) and it paid dividends as he scored 2, grabbed an apple on the way out and even sat in the box for 2 to make his presence felt on the ol’ game sheet. Dennis “Heradactal” Haradyn fired home his 1st goal of the season and celebrated like he just won a spiral ham at the Christmas bizarre. Steve Ditta nother great job, scoring 2 and adding 2 helpers for the Oilers who get back into the winning column after a couple losses. Flyers played with a depleted lineup as the sniffles are running rampid throughout their locker room. Ron “Good Grief” Vankleaf tallied a pair for the Flyers while Carlo Greco notched a productive 3 point night.


PENGUINS 6 REDWINGS 5: it was a typical #68 and #87 Penguin show down at the igloo as these guys continue to bulldoze their way through the schedule as the Pens slid past the Redwings 6-5. The Wings made things interesting with 2 late goals but couldn’t get the equalizer, making it 6 straight defeats but are keeping their chins up in the dressing room. “We are still having a fun season, the wins will come, the effort is there, we are just running in to some hot goaltenders”, said Ryan “my back is still” Aikens after the game. “Let’s load up the bus and get a good sleep before practice tomorrow”, he added.



PENGUINS 4 BRUINS 3: Bruins played alot of the game with no goalie, not even a rubber boot or a jersey hanging off the cross bar! This game should’ve been 84-2. Pens’ Dave Armstrong scored a goal and added an assist. This guy keeps it so damn simple out there, he loves books. Also on the penguins side of the sheet, Mike “Electric” Guitard had a solid game. He is so smooth out there, twists an Oreo open and all the cream is always perfectly on the one side! Golf clap as he scored his 1st of the season. Bruins Wayne Slewinski did his part, scoring a hat show but that backfired like a 73 Dodge Monaco as the Brew Crew lost a big game.


FLYERS 4 BLACKHAWKS 3: Flyers Mike “Hagandaas” Hawes aka the Green Hornet, lit the lantern for his 1st of the year then celebrated until the wee hours as the Flyers held off the Hawks 4-3. This game went back and forth like fans were watching a tennis match, but the Flyers hung on to erase a 2 game losing streak. Flyers dman Ryan “Long Branch” Maybrey went through the Hawks team a few times, did everything but bonk them all on the head with an empty wrapping paper tube.  Hawks were led by Walt Blagdon who is your typical apple machine, adding another 2 assists to his basket. Strong games by bother tenders but Flyers squeeked out the W. Flyers welcomed back gritty forward Ryan “Hall Monitor” Hall after being absent for 10 games. Turns out he still had last year’s schedule under the gino’s pizza fridge magnet.


CANADIENS 4 LEAFS 1: Habs’ Rob Baker scored his 10th and finally got an assist! Hey goalies here’s a tip, he’s shooting.

Rob continues his romaine lettuce off-ice regiment and despite the constant trips to the bathroom, is feeling a heck of alot better out there. Canadiens’ promising young upstart Alfonso “Tinman” Tinebro chipped in with a sweet goal that would make Guy Lafleur raise a brow. Leafs were missing 9 foot 3 goalie Bill Templeman this week but their fill-in played a solid game despite the loss.



FLYERS 7 BLACKHAWKS 2: Look out league, the John Annibale freight train is back on track. 2 goals helped lift the Flyers off the ground, beating the Hawks 7-2. Flyers are runway is wide open and they are ready for takeoff after hanging low for a few weeks. These guys are for real. Robert Jacobs gingle-heimered the Flyers with a pair of beauts for the winners and Bill Pauhl grabbed 3 apples off the shelf.


STARS 6 FLAMES 2: Stars’ Kelly Rintjema is always in the right spot at the right time. Grabbing points like they are going out of style. Another 2 assists for him in this game. He is a lot like my cat, Nuffers, always has eyes wide open for anything to jump at and is all over it like a moth on a porch light. 2 wins and a tie for the Stars in their past 3 games. Good job, fellas. Stars’ Guy “Remington” Shaver continued his smooth play of late, scoring 2 for the winners. Sub goalie Alex Greychuck filled in admirably in Brian Deanes’ absence.


SHARKS 3 REDWINGS 3: While the rest of us were roped in to a hot chocolate and a drive around to look at Christmas light date night, these 2 teams were battling it out on the ice. Sharks’ Mark “Slim” Shadwell with 2 goals while Danny DiGiacinto (took me 8 tries to type that name right) was on Shark Patrol on this night, scoring his first 2 goals of the year.


KINGS 2 BRUINS 2: For those fans clammering for a high scoring affair, good luck with that. A defensive battle where things were tighter  than a snare drum. Not many chances but hey, let’s still give the goalies a high 5 for their effort. Bruins tied the thing up with only 25 ticks left on the clock. Kings’ Munish Baranowski put his whistle away and scored a sweet goal. Kings’ Mike Vanderzee was buzzing around the ice like he was on a mission. I mean this guy drinks dirt bike juice before the game.


At any rate, that was the week in a nutshell. Fans are starting to fill the seats, concession sales are booming, and TSN is looking at adding SCOHA to their broadcast schedule. Special thanks to Masters Whirling Dervish Jimmy Albanese for stopping by our table Sunday night for some nostalgic stories about the league.  And oh ya, ask for bacon on your teams’ free pizza, you will thank me later. That’s all from this end of the ice..


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA – Nov. 27th, 2018

Another weekend in the books as the SCOHA season starts to ramp up, just in time for everyone to gain 12 pounds over the holidays. Junior Blackhawks are the hottest team right now, having won 4 straight and with a few ties before that, haven’t tasted defeat since Oct.12th for crying out loud. These guys are hotter than Judy Jetson right now. On the flipside, Junior Redwings are getting their losing streak out of the way before 2019 comes, dropping 5 in a row but are keeping it fun in the room. Keep an eye on Intermediate Bruins who are all having pre-game naps after a sluggish start. They are now inching closer to the logjam in the standings. Masters Kings won 5 straight but have a loss and a tie in their past 2. Intermediate standings see 4 points separating 1st to 5th, just bananas!



BRUINS 5 OILERS 2: In a rematch of the 1990 Stanley Cup Final, the Bruins, led by Kirk “All Work” Blancher’s 2 goals, clawed past the Oilers 5-2. Andrew Clark was all over the game sheet with a goal and 3 assists for the winners. Oilers were missing their leading scorer, Mark Powell and 3 others which explained their power outage. Oilers have dropped 2 straight but refuse to hit the panic button. Oilers Dennis Haradyn post game, “We were missing a lot of guys, we are as tired as a pair of dentures after a cold buffet. Hopefully we will have a full team next week and get this back on track.” Steve Ditta fired home his 10th of the season in a losing cause.


BLACKHAWKS 6 PENGUINS 3: Someone call the damn fire department because hawks’ Ron Cybalski is on fire. 2 goals gives him 19 on the year as his team doubled up the Penguins 6-3. Legend has it, Ron got pulled over for driving with his head out the sunroof. He didn’t realize it, told the cop sorry, I was sitting on all my highlight dvd’s . He got off without a ticket. Hawks were missing 4 players but they sucked back some Jolt cola’s, went out there and got the job done. Game sheet said Penguins #24 had 2 assists so whoever you are, good game.


FLYERS 4 REDWINGS 1: Redwings were short 7 guys!!! Stick tap to Dino LaPorta (Backyarda) who subbed in. Must’ve been the Hallmark Christmas movies that kept half the team away. At any rate, Flyers win 4-1 and they were missing 4 guys. Doug Moulton was red hot, tallying 3 assists while Dave Holmes on Holmes scored a beauty for the Flyers. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Walter Blagdon sniped his 19th of the year. This guy took his hands off the handlebars this season and it riding roughshot over every goalie in the league. His new nickname is the Bulldozer, you saw it here first, kids.



CANADIENS 7 PENGUINS 4: Cheers to Mike Norman who notched his first 2 points of the season. Now everybody knows his name. (Bad Cheers tv pun). Mike Miscio had a few Red Bulls in the room then went out there and scored a hatty to lift the Habs to a 7-4 victoire over the Penguino’s. Paul Allain celebrated his 9th and 10th goals of the season but it wasn’t enough. Pens were missing workhorse Dave Armstrong, who trenches through the muck game in and game out. Call him the bus driver, and he loads up the gear for the team.


LEAFS 7 BLACKHAWKS 3: Leafs Guy Romeo hopped the glass to celebrate his 1st of the season while Bob Tenison continues his hall of fame season with 4 more goals as the Leafs folded up the Blackhawks like a used picnic blanket. Tension now has 16 goals while defenceman Paul McGraw can see the game from back home in his living room. You want to play a tough game, he can bring it too. He says get off his lawn, you better get the hell off his lawn. Miss having him on our team. Hawks’ Scott Maki scored his 1st of the year. Hope he got the game puck.


BRUINS 6 FLYERS 3: Someone tipped over the outhouse, there were some snarkiness out there with a steady parade to the penalty box. Bruins’ newcomer Randy Roubus loomed large on the blueline. Flyers didn’t mail this one in because the mailman was still on strike. Bruins’ Wayne Slewinski said screw the subtle complexity of the game and took the bull by the horns, scored 2 goals, added a helper, went into the corners like there was only one slice of bacon left at a truck stop diner, and got his team fired up for the win. Flyers’ Glenn “Goodfella” Mannella spoke to media after the game,” Well we let them control the game, that’s usually our job. Coach Wichman canceled our day off tomorrow so we aren’t looking forward to a hard practice.”



BLACKHAWKS 2 SHARKS 2: Some fans said this one was as exciting as a cauliflower crust pizza. Not many chances out there as the defencemen played tighter than a jar of peanut butter at a squirrel convention. Hawks’ Len “Downtown” Brown saucered a pass across the ice for a highlight reel goal and Jim Albanese also feathered a pass 48 feet in the air for a key assist in the game. 4 minors for the Hawks who must’ve like chatting up the time keeper.


STARS 8 REDWINGS 2: Holy Mackinaw! Pro Stars cereal was the pre game meal as the Stars, led by captain Chris “Meet Me at the” Baratto scored a mid-air Savardian spin-o-rama for a possible goal of the year candidate. Rode his stick back to the faceoff dot like Tiger Williams afterwards. Larry Hot Mitts” Litzgus had a hatty and 2 assists and Tony Montgomery had 3 apples for the winners. Wing’s Bob “No Panic” Turanic lit the lamp twice in a losing cause.


BRUINS 5 FLYERS 2: Bruins’ John “Just get in the” Carvalho scored 3 amazing goals and Alastair Kermack (and cheese) added his 10th of the season as the Bruins took care of the Flyers like Rosie O’Donnell on a tray of éclairs. Dale Brons set up 2 goals for the B’s while Bill Pauhl with an h scored a dandy for the Flyers.


FLAMES 5 KINGS 3: Jay Anderson (no relation to Pam) scored 3 and now sits at 10 for the year and Bob Tiranic added a goal and 4 assists as the Flames ran rampage over the Kings. Joe “Thank you Very” Muchynski tallied twice for the Kings while his netminder,  Joe DeFaria,  received a minor for throwing his stick. Anyone catch the distance on that toss? We will have to catch up with Joe for his thoughts on how that all unfolded.


Well that’s all from this end of the ice. Back to untangling these damn lights....


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA – Nov. 20th, 2018

What a week of action! Thanks to the team reps who did their part in crossing off players scratched from the lineup. Besides a few phantom jersey numbers getting points, things went as smooth as a double crown and coke on a Friday evening. Let’s check out some highlights (and low lights) ....



BRUINS 3 REDWINGS 2: Justin “Eastgate” Mol scored the eventual game winner with only 51 ticks left on the clock as the Bruins snuck by the Redwings 3-2. Fans got their money’s worth as both teams went up and down like a fiddler’s elbow all night. Captain Greg Lintott also added a goal and a hamburger helper for the winners. Wayne Sliwinski stayed out of the box long enough to score for the Redwings who’s elevator brought them to the bottom floor of the standings with the loss.


BLACKHAWKS 5 OILERS 2: Is this a typo? No it’s not because I am typing it. The Oilers actually lost. Ron Cybalski, whose heroics this year doesn’t grow on trees, sawed his way through the Oilers, scoring 3 and adding an assist. Nick Troback and Kyle Oswald can treat themselves to a Denny’s grand slam breakfast after scoring their 1st goals of the season for the winners. On the other side of the ice, Oilers’ Ted MacKenzie and Mark Powell both registered their first penalties of the season. They sat in the box, felt shame, and then they were free. Powell pulled up his pants and tallied a goal and an assist but it was too late.


FLYERS 6 PENGUINS 3: Walter Blagdon continued his dominance, scoring a pair and adding an apple as the Flyers uncapped the Pens and chewed up a 6-3 victory. I get nervous when I see Blagdon shoot a beef meatball toward a defenceman’s shinpad, this guy has a canon of a shot. Tom Mitchell lit the lamp twice for the Flyers while John Mogford  (minus the Sons) scored a beauty of a goal in the opening period.  Both teams are now tied in the standing with 11 points each.



CANADIENS 3 BRUINS 3:  Pregame media scrum turned sour when Canadiens’ Rob Baker was asked what his teams game plan was going in. Baker snarled, looked the camera right in the eye and said, “No one’s talking...  now get lost!” 9:26 later, he found the back of the net to give Les Habitants the lead. Bruins Jon Williamson and John Cvijajovich (say that fast 3 times) both scored their 1st goal of the season while Bruins’ welcomed Randy Roubos into the fold, signing him to a lucrative deal full of performance incentives. Roubos tallied an  assist in his Bruins debut. I would venture to say the Bruins won’t be in the league basement for long. Captain Wayne Sliwinski runs a tight ship and we all know his squad will be ready for playoffs when games mean a lot more...


PENGUINS 6 BLACKHAWKS 4: Penguins Paul Allain is a sniper. I bet when he goes down east, lobsters holding cilantro and lemons jump right out of the damn water onto his plate and say “help yourself, buddy”.  A hat trick by Allain helped the Pens get past the Hawks in an entertaining 6-4 win. Walter Blagdon, speaking of snipers, notched a goal and an assist for the Hawks who give up 1st place in the division to the Penguins. Arena staff are still cleaning up the popcorn, there were so many people watching.


LEAFS 4 FLYERS 3: Leafs goaltender Bill Templeman fought through a battle zone for the last few minutes of this one. Flyers were pressing harder than double grill cheese in a Panini press but Templeman had the Berlin wall set up.

Bob Tenison has his foot floored on the gas yet again, racking up another 3 points while Brock Hotrum snuck 2 past the Leaf goalie before exiting the game with a grade double zed groin pull. He is day-to-day but is looking forward to massage therapy this week, until he realizes it will cost 20 bucks a song. Flyers were also missing Ryan “Lakeshore West Go Train” Maybrey, who will be back in the lineup this weekend. Leafs are now sniffing the division leaders and are poised to take over as contenders. Guy Romeo was unavailable for comment post game.....



FLYERS 2 REDWINGS 1: Robert Jacobs was in the market for a game winning goal and he did just that as the Flyers snuck by the Redwings 2-1 in front of a boisterous crowd. Joe “The Show” Venditti scored a Savardian Spinorama goal for the Flyers while Bill “The Webmaster” Curran replied for the Redwings. After the final horn, both teams complimented each other’s game. Wings Terry Gudgeon made himself available to the media postgame, “Well, the thing is... they have active sticks breaking up our rush and they are quick to move the puck out of their own end..”  Flyers stalward defenceman Gregg Hutchinson played a solid game on the blue line, swatting away any Wings player that came near him, causing nightmares for the opposition.


FLAMES 8 SHARKS 3: Good grief, the scorekeeper went through 3 pens before this was all said and done. Stick tap to Flames’ Dave Jarvis who scored his 1st 2 goals of the season. The Flames passed the puck around like Cheech and Chong passing a giggler around at a campfire. For the Sharks, who are now 5-5 on the season, Mike Archer spearheaded his team with 2 goals while Jimmy Albanese tore up the ice like Brian Boitano after a espresso, scoring a goal in a losing cause.


BLACKHAWKS 4 BRUINS 1: With head coach Bob Schweyer behind the Hawks bench wearing his signature SCOHA fedora, he watched his team trounce the Bruins 4-1. Ed “Shaky” Walton had the moves like Jagr and smiled all the way back to centre ice like he just won Lottario for the 2nd time. Sad news is that Walton will miss a considerabl amount of time with knee rehab. Maybe he can meet up with Intermediate Flyers’ Brock Hotrum at the massage therapist.  Hawks Frank Bortolin fired home his 1st and Len “Downtown” Brown notched his 1st assist of the season for the winners.

Bruins’ Terry Hughes must’ve had Red Bull in his water bottle as he was flying out there like a tsunami was behind him. Meanwhile, Bruins’ Gord Bryce who I am told was called “Sunwing” after the game by his teammates. 2 penalties in the game, both for “trips”.


STARS 2 KINGS 2: Kings’ Ken “Not my Fault” Nault scored his 1st of the season and Stars’ Kelly Rintjema hit the sheets for 2 goals as the Kings and Stars finished up tied 2-2. Stars’ Chris Baratto spoke to reporters after the game, “Both goalies played great but our goalie was gooder. Bill Nye the Science guy has nothing on our keeper.” We were all hoping Kings’ Munish Baranowski would’ve scored a game winner in this game, headline would’ve read MUNISH LIGHTS UP THE STARS, oh well maybe next time.....


That’s all from this end of the ice. Special shout out to some past SCOHA hockey heroes who stopped by the bar on Sunday night for some good laughs. Dave Wichman and yours truly had about 8 guests sit down with us and share some old stories from the league and tournaments. Hope they come back to see everyone again soon!


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA - Nov.14th 2018


PENGUINS 6 BRUINS 1: The Bruins game plan to get out of their 5 game winless slump got eaten by their dog. Mike Haslam fired home a pair of goals and an assist to slide the Penguins to a convincing 6-1 victory. Kevin Clark also added two goals for the winners who move to 2nd place but miles away from the Oilers.


OILERS 4 REDWINGS 2: Redwings Steve North, no relation to adult film star Peter, exploded for his 1st goal of the season in a losing cause, as the Oilers continued their winning ways. Mark Powell was all over the ice, skating so fast we couldn’t read the ads on the boards, scoring a deuce for the winners. Oilers are the first SCOHA team to score 50 this season and have alot more in their can of whoopass. They haven’t lost since we were all in shorts around the pool on September 28th for crying out loud. Someone topple the division leaders!


BLACKHAWKS 9 FLYERS 1: The Flyers were thrown into Hell’s Kitchen where the Blackhawks were cooking up a pot of old fashioned drubbings. Dennis Cybalski led the pack with 4 goals and 2 assists for the game’s first star. Some fans overheard the Harlem Globetrotters whistle song while the Hawks cycled the puck down deep. Ron Cybalski chipped in with a goal and 4 helpers as the Hawks have a point in 4 straight.



BLACKHAWKS 3 CANADIENS 2: Walter Blagdon was all over the ice like flies on a rib roast, collecting 2 goals and adding a helper as the Hawks won a barn burner 3-2 over the struggling Canadiens, who have but one win in their past 4 games. Rob Baker post game, “This Blackhawk team is rolling, there’s not enough mustard for those hotdogs. We were tired, our ligaments in our knees feel like pastrami.”


Canadiens’ Dave Braid scored his 1st of the season in a losing cause but took the game puck home for the mantle.

FLYERS 5 PENGUINS 5: With plenty of scouts in the crowd, the Flyers tied the game with one second left on the clock to grab a point against the surging Penguins. Flyers’ Dave Wichman, showing no ill effects from nagging foot injuries, fired home a goal and 2 apples. Dan Chapados isn’t no slouch either, also scoring a goal and 2 assists for the Flyers.  Al Granata scored his 1st of the year and Luc Guillemette dangled for a pair of goals on the Pens side of the gamesheet.


LEAFS 6 BRUINS 1: The Leafs went to Walmart, picked up a Swiffer Wetjet and cleaned up the Bruins 6-1. With William Nylander still not signed, the Leafs are powering on. A picture perfect game as Jason Aguanno and Chris Scott split the game puck for their 1st goals of the year. Paul Clearly saw the net well, scoring 2 goals for the winners.  Another solid game on the Leafs blueline for Paul McGraw. He skates like a deer out there. Wash the cheese off your Doritos fingers and watch Leafs goalie Bill Templeman play, he has a glove hand that could slice tomatos.



REDWINGS 4 BLACKHAWKS 4: Steady Eddie Walton showed off some crazy skills with a goal and an assist. I mean, this guy’s moves are greasier than the Bacon Bacon box set from little Caesar’s Pizza. Hawks callup Steve Cromwell filled in admirably with 2 goals, hope they bought hima beveridge after the game. Redwings Danny Gabriele was like an angry hornet out there, buzzing around then getting his 1st goal of the season and Vince “Dont call me Freddie” Mercuri scored a hatty and an assist.


BRUINS 4 FLAMES 2: Bruce MacDonald notched his 1st of the season and Dale Brons added a pair as the Bruins won their 3rd straight over the Flames. Bruins are not 2 point out of 1st place, 2 behind the powerhouse Kings.


KINGS 4 SHARKS 2: Charles “Hot Stove” Hostovsky and Al “Just call me Al” Angelone both scored their 1st goals of the season as the Kings won their 5th in a row. Sharks had Jim Albanese back in the lineup after sitting on a beach for 89 days. He set up the Sharks 1st goal with more saucer passes than a 50’s diner.


FLYERS 7 STARS 5: Flyers Gregg Hutchinson’s hammered home his first 2 goals of the season along with 2 assists as the Flyers flew by the Stars 7-5. Stars’ Larry Litzgus dug in his skates, scoring a hat trick and an assist in a losing cause. Stars Chris “Meet me at the” Barratto scored a dandy then showed off his Mike Foligno goal leap, banging his head on the score clock above. He is day to day with a sore noggin.


Well that’s all from this end of the ice... check out the website for all the players stats and come on up to the bar after the game for some good laughs with all your SCOHA hockey heroes...


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA - Nov.6th 2018


OILERS 2 PENGUINS 2 – Quite the battle between the top 2 teams in the division, ending up in a 2-2 saw off. Both teams matched each other’s speed, giving the 5 fans something to cheer about at more than one occasion. Both goalies made some beauty saves, worthy of the front page if we had a league newspaper. Steve Ditta great job collecting a goal and an assist for the Oil while the Haslam brothers sandwiched together a goal each for the Penguins. The tie snapped a damn swell 4 game winning streak by the Oilers.

FLYERS 7 BRUINS 2 – Holy hockey sticks, the Flyers fired up the cappuccino machine before the game and skated for miles, upending the Bruins 7-2. Walt Blagdon has a plastic bag of hats thanks to his 3 goals and all the fans showering the ice with ball caps. Stick tap to Tom Mitchell for notching his first 2 goals of the season. Chris Piche was as cool as the other side of the pillow in the Flyers net. Shawn Rowell had the saucer passes flying with 3 assists for the winners who snapped a 3 game losing streak.

BLACKHAWKS 5 REDWINGS 2 – Dennis Cybalski (aka Johnny Hustle) chipped in with a 4 point night, Rick Clark fired home a pair as the Blackhawks took care of the Redwings 5-2. Dave Kat, who admitted his team was dog tired, scored for the Wings who look to get back in the win column this week.


FLYERS 6 CANADIENS 0 – The Flyers played a Canadiens team more tired than a pair of dentures after a cold buffet, folding up the habs like a lawnchair by the score of 6-0. Canadiens were missing their sniper, Rob Baker, who was out in Welland attending a holiday card painting workshop. Mike Miscio was nursing a sore leg , gave it a go but exited the game after a few shifts. We hope he is back out there soon. The Flyers took the leash off and let the dog run as Jay Hoffman scored a hatty while Conrad and Brock “Hot Wheels” Hotrum continued to play an excellent brand of hockey. Ryan “Go Train” Maybrey carried on his defensive play as a Canadien was overhead saying it’s like trying to skateboard around the CN tower for f sake... Dave “Coach” Wichman threw on the twirlers and rejoined the lineup after his foot was more bruised than Donald Trump’s ego after a pep rally.

PENGUINS 1 LEAFS 0 – March of the Penguins continues as they waddled away with a 1-0 win and now boast a modest 3 game winning streak. Garnet Wilson stopped all 48 shots he faced in the penguins net, crumbling up pucks and putting them on a salad for all to see. Leafs played with more call ups than Bell Canada has ever seen. “No one knew half the guy’s names out there, we were all Buddy”, Leafs Guy Romeo said after the game. Both goalies played great, complimented each other’s game afterwards, and shared a glass of milk up at the bar afterwards. A lot of Proline tickets for the “over” were seen wrapped up in the arena lobby after this defensive battle.

BLACKHAWKS 4 BRUINS 2 – John Hewitt iced 3 goals as the Hawks creamed the Bruins 4-2 to retain first place in their division. The Hawks can feel teams breathing down their necks so snapping their 2 game losing streak came at a good time. Tim Pettitt sacked a goal and an assist for the Bruins who were pressing for the equalizer late but Jeff Davis scored an empty netter for the victors.


SHARKS 4 FLYERS 1 – Mike Laing blasted his 1st of the season and Richard Paquet dusted off 21 saves as the Sharks dismembered the Flyers 4-1 . The Sharks really tightened the screws defensively, something player coach Ron Cooper praised after the game. “We are here to win, not to entertain the fans with a 9-8 game. Defense is our style, and defense wins championships. Side note: the 50/50 for 3 bucks still has not been claimed, winnings will be doubled for next game, bring the kids.

FLAMES 2 REDWINGS 2 – The Flames have more crazy ties than Don Cherry this year, recording their 4th in a row. Redwings picked up 2 goals from Vince Mercuri, who played out of this world all night, while teammate Terry kept Gudgeon along, adding 2 assists. Marc Verrier and Bob Tirnanic sunk a goal each for the Flames. Let’s cheer these fellas on in hopes of a win this weekend, not another tie...

BRUINS 5 STARS 4 – If you were home sorting socks, you missed one hell of a hockey game. The Bruins and Stars provided an entertaining game, eventually won by the Big Bad Bruins 5-4. 5 different scorers for the Bruins while Guy “Remmington” Shaver continued to nik his way into the SCOHA record books with his offensive prowess, adding 3 goals and an assist to his totals. A few Bruins defencemen spoke about Shaver’s speed, “It’s like we are skating in pickle jars when he skates around us and we all know it is impossible to skate in pickle jars.” Dale “Cuba Vacation” Brons kept pace atop the scoring leaders with a goal and 2 apples.

KINGS 3 BLACKHAWKS 2 – Henry Marfisi lured in 2 goals and an assist to help Kings squeak by the Blackhawks 3-2. Paul “Quick Draw” McGraw scored his first of the season for the Hawks, as well as Ken Zrobok, congrats guys! The Kings’ Charles “Hot Stove” Hostovsky made the score sheet for the first time this year, despite being for a slashing minor.

Plenty of close races in all three divisions as we skate head down into November. Rivalries are starting to form and more players are hanging out up at the bar for some good laughs. Gotta love hockey season...

That’s all from this end of the ice...

Chris Marttila


This Week in SCOHA - Oct.30th, 2018

Before puck drop, let’s hope the guy who broke his femur this past weekend is feeling a bit better and knows we were all worried about him. 

With Halloween less than a day away, several players brought out their special broomsticks, showed some tricks, and treated themselves to their first goal of the season. Stick tap to all 10 of you who scored. More firsts than Grade 8 prom night for crying out loud.

PENGUINS 3 REDWINGS 2: The Haslam brothers did the heavy lifting for the Penguino’s as they rallied past the Redwings 3-2. Dale Scott had some pre-Halloween sugar and scored a goal and an assist for the Redwings in a losing cause. Both teams are fighting for 2nd place trying to catch the Oilers for the division lead.

BLACKHAWKS 4 BRUINS 4: Dino LaPorta earned the construction helmet in the locker room after the game as he helped his Blackhawks tie the Bruins 4-4. LaPorta notched 2 goals and an assist while Justin Mol filled the net like a crab expedition on Deadliest Catch with 4 goals on the night.

OILERS 7 FLYERS 4: Jacob Denobriga had more luck than a 2-time Lottomax winner, firing home 4 goals for the winners. Flyers had 4 different goal scorers, who dip to 3-4-1 on the season. Flyers had the Nickelback tunes blaring in the room pre-game but that didn’t make a difference on this night.

PENGUINS 4 BRUINS 3: If you think the Penguins are about to slow down their pace, clearly it is time to pay your tab and leave the bar. Troy Izlakar drove the guys home with a goal and 2 assists while Bruins’ Wayne Sliwinski reminds us of a swiss army knife, he’s several parts to his game we would all want, adding 2 goals and an apple. Bruins are sitting in the basement but will get some more nails in the roof and be ready for next week. Bruins’ Tim Pettitt post game, “Well we can’t let our slow start get to us, we need to get more shots on goal and drive the net more. It’s still early, so stop asking me these ridiculous questions.” Bruins’ Denis Martin is still smiling like he slept with a hanger in his mouth after his 1st of the season.

FLYERS 4 BLACKHAWKS 2: For the Blackhawks, the cheese fell off the cracker on this night as the Flyers doubled up the Hawks 4-2. Brock “Nifty Mitts” Hotrum scored a goal and added 2 apples while Veljko try and pronounce his last name is still hanging off the glass after scoring a beaut for his 1st. Hawks’ Gary Poole put the winter cover on his 1st goal of this long season as well. The injury bug is going through the Flyers room like a redneck’s tooth through a cob of corn, but as team captain Dave Wichman adds, “My foot feels like the size of a vacuum cleaner right now but once I can get a damn skate on, I will be back in the best shape ever.”

CANADIENS 2 LEAFS 1: A Hockey Night in Canada slugfest had hockey fans smiling like a butcher’s dog waiting for this one. Habs’ Rob Baker was running the arena stairs before the game but got lost in the north end stairwell. Once he emerged, he found the net for the game winner. He is playing some king size kit kat hockey right now and has his team skating like they mean it. The Leafs offense got tangled up like a bag of Christmas lights but will find their stride next week. Both goalie’s stood on their ear lobes on this night.

STARS 6 BLACKHAWKS 3: Guy Shaver is the Chevy Silverado of the league right now. He racked up a hattie and an assist to spearhead the Stars over the Hawks 6-3. Stars’ goalkeeper Brian Deanes new pre-game yoga routine seems to be working wonders as he is knocking off each team one by one. Larry Litzgus also threw his hat into the circle, adding 3 assists for the Stars. Looks like ghosts scored 2 of the 3 Hawk goals as the scoresheet was left blank on 2 occasions. When Hawks forward Ed Walton was approached by reporters post-game, he added, “We telegraphed a few passes like it was 1837...” Brad Kinnear scored a “spook-tacular” goal for his first of the year.

FLYERS 2 FLAMES 2: Both teams played a solid 200 foot game as fans went home either happy or sad thanks to a 2-2 draw. Enzo Giammichele (say that fast 3 times) scored a pretty sweet goal for his 1st of the year, going end to end like our old buddy, Bobby Orr once did. Words fail me on what else to say about this game... Zamboni missed a spot, i dunno....

KINGS 7 REDWINGS 1: A real saliva test for the Redwings went south in a hurry as the Wings got folded up like a used picnic blanket 7-1 by the Kings. Jim Marfisi and Rob “chicken and cheese” Nacha led the way with 3 points each while the Kings defence was tighter than a snare drum. Another 2 goals for Joe “thank you very” Muchynski, great game fellas. Redwings remained on the ice post-game for a no-puck intense practice, they are promising a solid effort next week.

BRUINS 3 SHARKS 2: Mike Martini poured himself his 1st of the season but it wasn’t enough as the Bruins harpooned the Sharks 3-2 in front of a small crowd Sunday night. The 50/50 winner took home 3 bucks, but someone shorted a dime. Thanks to Joe LoCicero for donating the losing amount. Bruins Gary Guthro, back after a few weeks, went bar down with a nifty goal to lead the winners. Mike Archer did his part, setting up 2 goals for the Sharks.

That’s all from this end of the ice...

Chris Marttila