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This Week in SCOHA – December 11th, 2018


No games this week but I had a chance to chat with Bruins goalkeeper Roman Bratovz up at the Hot Stove Lounge and we chatted about his past SCOHA achievements and had some laughs over a few Carlsberg’s. Roman’s resume boasts 2 league MVP awards and 2-time Bruins MVP trophies. His skin is still peeling from his trip to the Dominican where he signed autographs at the local school where he handed out pencils like they were going out of style. He is well known at that resort’s swim-up bar where miraculously, he didn’t have to leave the pool all afternoon to relieve himself in the bathroom. Great job, Roman, have a great 2nd half of the season and thanks for stopping by to chat.



CANADIENS 4 FLYERS 2: Appears both refs missed out on the Hamilton Santa Clause parade so they had one themselves over at rink 4. A total of 12 minor penalties were called as the parade to the box slowed the game down to a crawl. More whistles than Pamela Anderson jogging past a construction site. Habs’ Dave Braid and Rob Baker chipped in with 2 points each while Flyers Veljko “Maverick” Gavric scored his 2nd of the year, going bottom left corner on a snipe.

Most of us got a chance to talk to the penalty box scorekeeper and thanked her for her hard work and dedication this year.


BRUINS 3 BLACKHAWKS 2: Bruins’ Dino “Good Job” Guidice found the net for the short-handed game winner as the Bruins won a thriller 3-2 over arch-rival Blackhawks. Wayne Slewinski also helped out the winners with a goal and a shiny apple as the Brew Crew continue to climb the standings. I took the “over” on my Proline ticket on this game, that was 10 bucks not well spent. Hawks’ John Hewitt did his part, scoring 2 but his team just couldn’t solve the Bruins smoldering defence, like running into a buzzsaw.


PENGUINS 8 LEAFS 2: Pens’ Dave Armstrong gets the gold star of the week to stick on his hockey helmet after notching 4 goals as they won a squeeker 8-2 over the Leafs. This guy is money. They had to open the roof on the team bus on the way home.  If this guy sits on his wallet, he’ll break the ceiling he is so money. In Leafs defence, they were missing 5 guys including goalie Bill “Temple of Doom” Templeman and scoring hero Bob Tenison. Players held a closed door meeting afterwards. Guy Romeo emerged first but refused comment with the media.



BRUINS 7 REDWINGS 1: Bruins John Toth skated circles around the ice like he was playing with a Spirograph set. Him and teammate Jimmy Bartlett both went top cheese for their 2ng goals of the season for the win. John “Get in the” Carvalho added 3 assists for the winners. Redwings got a goal from Vince Mercuri who is playing out of this world this year.


FLAMES 3 BLACKHAWKS 1: Flames’ Frank “the Tank” Jambrosich’s name barely fits on the back of his jersey but the puck certainly fills the net as he scored 2 big league goals in a 3-1 victory. What a game as the rest of us watched from the bar. Fans are starting to invest in this Flames team, the landscape has shifted and these guys are thinking championship, look out masters division!


KINGS 4 FLYERS 3: Kings’ Henry “Quick Release” Marfisi continues to pick up loose change and throw it into the Coinstar machine. 2 more goals for this guy who is playing on a different playing field right now. Joe “thank you very” Muchynski is also having a banner campaign for the Kings, also scoring 2 as they snuck by the Flyers 4-3. Flyers goal scoring machine John Annibale was held to 2 goals as he was all over the place like moths on a porchlight. Great game by both teams.


SHARKS 6 STARS 4: Mike Archer spearheaded the drive with 2 roof jobs as the Sharks forward went around defencemen like they were grandma’s in the left lane. Stars’ Guy Shaver with another 2 goals, wow. The only way to stop this guy is if his car runs out of gas on the way to the damn rink. This game had everything, should’ve seen Stars’ Chris Baratto’s saucer pass over 5 sticks for the ripest apple of the season on their 4th goal of the game. Bar staff are still cleaning up all the popcorn off the floor after that one.


Anyways, that’s all from this end of the ice. Heads up, if you are thinking about flooring it up at the bar after the game, ride program is all over the place like white on rice. Don’t want to see anyone in hot water. Full player stats will be posted on our website and there are a few masters schedule changes posted on their also.


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA – Dec. 4th, 2018

Another action-packed week of SCOHA hockey that has many fans sitting on the edge of their sofa’s.  Just a heads up, message your team rep if you detect any gamesheet errors and have them email me before the 8pm Monday deadline so I can fix it before posting the weekly update. That being said, let’s dive in and take a closer look at this past week’s results before I forget all these cheesy one-liners...



BRUINS 6 BLACKHAWKS 2: Glenn Erskine handed out 3 apples and Andrew Clark tucked away 2 goals as the Bruins took care of the Blackhawks 6-2 on Friday night while the rest of us were home putting up the tree. 3 wins in a row for the B’s as they are hitting their stride at the right time. 2 points now separate 2nd and 5th place in a jammed up Junior Division race. Blackhawks’ Mike Troback had his work boots on, collecting 2 goals for the Hawks who had a modest 4 game winning streak snapped.


OILERS 6 FLYERS 5: Oilers subbed in Dino LaPorta (backyarda) and it paid dividends as he scored 2, grabbed an apple on the way out and even sat in the box for 2 to make his presence felt on the ol’ game sheet. Dennis “Heradactal” Haradyn fired home his 1st goal of the season and celebrated like he just won a spiral ham at the Christmas bizarre. Steve Ditta nother great job, scoring 2 and adding 2 helpers for the Oilers who get back into the winning column after a couple losses. Flyers played with a depleted lineup as the sniffles are running rampid throughout their locker room. Ron “Good Grief” Vankleaf tallied a pair for the Flyers while Carlo Greco notched a productive 3 point night.


PENGUINS 6 REDWINGS 5: it was a typical #68 and #87 Penguin show down at the igloo as these guys continue to bulldoze their way through the schedule as the Pens slid past the Redwings 6-5. The Wings made things interesting with 2 late goals but couldn’t get the equalizer, making it 6 straight defeats but are keeping their chins up in the dressing room. “We are still having a fun season, the wins will come, the effort is there, we are just running in to some hot goaltenders”, said Ryan “my back is still” Aikens after the game. “Let’s load up the bus and get a good sleep before practice tomorrow”, he added.



PENGUINS 4 BRUINS 3: Bruins played alot of the game with no goalie, not even a rubber boot or a jersey hanging off the cross bar! This game should’ve been 84-2. Pens’ Dave Armstrong scored a goal and added an assist. This guy keeps it so damn simple out there, he loves books. Also on the penguins side of the sheet, Mike “Electric” Guitard had a solid game. He is so smooth out there, twists an Oreo open and all the cream is always perfectly on the one side! Golf clap as he scored his 1st of the season. Bruins Wayne Slewinski did his part, scoring a hat show but that backfired like a 73 Dodge Monaco as the Brew Crew lost a big game.


FLYERS 4 BLACKHAWKS 3: Flyers Mike “Hagandaas” Hawes aka the Green Hornet, lit the lantern for his 1st of the year then celebrated until the wee hours as the Flyers held off the Hawks 4-3. This game went back and forth like fans were watching a tennis match, but the Flyers hung on to erase a 2 game losing streak. Flyers dman Ryan “Long Branch” Maybrey went through the Hawks team a few times, did everything but bonk them all on the head with an empty wrapping paper tube.  Hawks were led by Walt Blagdon who is your typical apple machine, adding another 2 assists to his basket. Strong games by bother tenders but Flyers squeeked out the W. Flyers welcomed back gritty forward Ryan “Hall Monitor” Hall after being absent for 10 games. Turns out he still had last year’s schedule under the gino’s pizza fridge magnet.


CANADIENS 4 LEAFS 1: Habs’ Rob Baker scored his 10th and finally got an assist! Hey goalies here’s a tip, he’s shooting.

Rob continues his romaine lettuce off-ice regiment and despite the constant trips to the bathroom, is feeling a heck of alot better out there. Canadiens’ promising young upstart Alfonso “Tinman” Tinebro chipped in with a sweet goal that would make Guy Lafleur raise a brow. Leafs were missing 9 foot 3 goalie Bill Templeman this week but their fill-in played a solid game despite the loss.



FLYERS 7 BLACKHAWKS 2: Look out league, the John Annibale freight train is back on track. 2 goals helped lift the Flyers off the ground, beating the Hawks 7-2. Flyers are runway is wide open and they are ready for takeoff after hanging low for a few weeks. These guys are for real. Robert Jacobs gingle-heimered the Flyers with a pair of beauts for the winners and Bill Pauhl grabbed 3 apples off the shelf.


STARS 6 FLAMES 2: Stars’ Kelly Rintjema is always in the right spot at the right time. Grabbing points like they are going out of style. Another 2 assists for him in this game. He is a lot like my cat, Nuffers, always has eyes wide open for anything to jump at and is all over it like a moth on a porch light. 2 wins and a tie for the Stars in their past 3 games. Good job, fellas. Stars’ Guy “Remington” Shaver continued his smooth play of late, scoring 2 for the winners. Sub goalie Alex Greychuck filled in admirably in Brian Deanes’ absence.


SHARKS 3 REDWINGS 3: While the rest of us were roped in to a hot chocolate and a drive around to look at Christmas light date night, these 2 teams were battling it out on the ice. Sharks’ Mark “Slim” Shadwell with 2 goals while Danny DiGiacinto (took me 8 tries to type that name right) was on Shark Patrol on this night, scoring his first 2 goals of the year.


KINGS 2 BRUINS 2: For those fans clammering for a high scoring affair, good luck with that. A defensive battle where things were tighter  than a snare drum. Not many chances but hey, let’s still give the goalies a high 5 for their effort. Bruins tied the thing up with only 25 ticks left on the clock. Kings’ Munish Baranowski put his whistle away and scored a sweet goal. Kings’ Mike Vanderzee was buzzing around the ice like he was on a mission. I mean this guy drinks dirt bike juice before the game.


At any rate, that was the week in a nutshell. Fans are starting to fill the seats, concession sales are booming, and TSN is looking at adding SCOHA to their broadcast schedule. Special thanks to Masters Whirling Dervish Jimmy Albanese for stopping by our table Sunday night for some nostalgic stories about the league.  And oh ya, ask for bacon on your teams’ free pizza, you will thank me later. That’s all from this end of the ice..


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA – Nov. 27th, 2018

Another weekend in the books as the SCOHA season starts to ramp up, just in time for everyone to gain 12 pounds over the holidays. Junior Blackhawks are the hottest team right now, having won 4 straight and with a few ties before that, haven’t tasted defeat since Oct.12th for crying out loud. These guys are hotter than Judy Jetson right now. On the flipside, Junior Redwings are getting their losing streak out of the way before 2019 comes, dropping 5 in a row but are keeping it fun in the room. Keep an eye on Intermediate Bruins who are all having pre-game naps after a sluggish start. They are now inching closer to the logjam in the standings. Masters Kings won 5 straight but have a loss and a tie in their past 2. Intermediate standings see 4 points separating 1st to 5th, just bananas!



BRUINS 5 OILERS 2: In a rematch of the 1990 Stanley Cup Final, the Bruins, led by Kirk “All Work” Blancher’s 2 goals, clawed past the Oilers 5-2. Andrew Clark was all over the game sheet with a goal and 3 assists for the winners. Oilers were missing their leading scorer, Mark Powell and 3 others which explained their power outage. Oilers have dropped 2 straight but refuse to hit the panic button. Oilers Dennis Haradyn post game, “We were missing a lot of guys, we are as tired as a pair of dentures after a cold buffet. Hopefully we will have a full team next week and get this back on track.” Steve Ditta fired home his 10th of the season in a losing cause.


BLACKHAWKS 6 PENGUINS 3: Someone call the damn fire department because hawks’ Ron Cybalski is on fire. 2 goals gives him 19 on the year as his team doubled up the Penguins 6-3. Legend has it, Ron got pulled over for driving with his head out the sunroof. He didn’t realize it, told the cop sorry, I was sitting on all my highlight dvd’s . He got off without a ticket. Hawks were missing 4 players but they sucked back some Jolt cola’s, went out there and got the job done. Game sheet said Penguins #24 had 2 assists so whoever you are, good game.


FLYERS 4 REDWINGS 1: Redwings were short 7 guys!!! Stick tap to Dino LaPorta (Backyarda) who subbed in. Must’ve been the Hallmark Christmas movies that kept half the team away. At any rate, Flyers win 4-1 and they were missing 4 guys. Doug Moulton was red hot, tallying 3 assists while Dave Holmes on Holmes scored a beauty for the Flyers. I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Walter Blagdon sniped his 19th of the year. This guy took his hands off the handlebars this season and it riding roughshot over every goalie in the league. His new nickname is the Bulldozer, you saw it here first, kids.



CANADIENS 7 PENGUINS 4: Cheers to Mike Norman who notched his first 2 points of the season. Now everybody knows his name. (Bad Cheers tv pun). Mike Miscio had a few Red Bulls in the room then went out there and scored a hatty to lift the Habs to a 7-4 victoire over the Penguino’s. Paul Allain celebrated his 9th and 10th goals of the season but it wasn’t enough. Pens were missing workhorse Dave Armstrong, who trenches through the muck game in and game out. Call him the bus driver, and he loads up the gear for the team.


LEAFS 7 BLACKHAWKS 3: Leafs Guy Romeo hopped the glass to celebrate his 1st of the season while Bob Tenison continues his hall of fame season with 4 more goals as the Leafs folded up the Blackhawks like a used picnic blanket. Tension now has 16 goals while defenceman Paul McGraw can see the game from back home in his living room. You want to play a tough game, he can bring it too. He says get off his lawn, you better get the hell off his lawn. Miss having him on our team. Hawks’ Scott Maki scored his 1st of the year. Hope he got the game puck.


BRUINS 6 FLYERS 3: Someone tipped over the outhouse, there were some snarkiness out there with a steady parade to the penalty box. Bruins’ newcomer Randy Roubus loomed large on the blueline. Flyers didn’t mail this one in because the mailman was still on strike. Bruins’ Wayne Slewinski said screw the subtle complexity of the game and took the bull by the horns, scored 2 goals, added a helper, went into the corners like there was only one slice of bacon left at a truck stop diner, and got his team fired up for the win. Flyers’ Glenn “Goodfella” Mannella spoke to media after the game,” Well we let them control the game, that’s usually our job. Coach Wichman canceled our day off tomorrow so we aren’t looking forward to a hard practice.”



BLACKHAWKS 2 SHARKS 2: Some fans said this one was as exciting as a cauliflower crust pizza. Not many chances out there as the defencemen played tighter than a jar of peanut butter at a squirrel convention. Hawks’ Len “Downtown” Brown saucered a pass across the ice for a highlight reel goal and Jim Albanese also feathered a pass 48 feet in the air for a key assist in the game. 4 minors for the Hawks who must’ve like chatting up the time keeper.


STARS 8 REDWINGS 2: Holy Mackinaw! Pro Stars cereal was the pre game meal as the Stars, led by captain Chris “Meet Me at the” Baratto scored a mid-air Savardian spin-o-rama for a possible goal of the year candidate. Rode his stick back to the faceoff dot like Tiger Williams afterwards. Larry Hot Mitts” Litzgus had a hatty and 2 assists and Tony Montgomery had 3 apples for the winners. Wing’s Bob “No Panic” Turanic lit the lamp twice in a losing cause.


BRUINS 5 FLYERS 2: Bruins’ John “Just get in the” Carvalho scored 3 amazing goals and Alastair Kermack (and cheese) added his 10th of the season as the Bruins took care of the Flyers like Rosie O’Donnell on a tray of éclairs. Dale Brons set up 2 goals for the B’s while Bill Pauhl with an h scored a dandy for the Flyers.


FLAMES 5 KINGS 3: Jay Anderson (no relation to Pam) scored 3 and now sits at 10 for the year and Bob Tiranic added a goal and 4 assists as the Flames ran rampage over the Kings. Joe “Thank you Very” Muchynski tallied twice for the Kings while his netminder,  Joe DeFaria,  received a minor for throwing his stick. Anyone catch the distance on that toss? We will have to catch up with Joe for his thoughts on how that all unfolded.


Well that’s all from this end of the ice. Back to untangling these damn lights....


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA – Nov. 20th, 2018

What a week of action! Thanks to the team reps who did their part in crossing off players scratched from the lineup. Besides a few phantom jersey numbers getting points, things went as smooth as a double crown and coke on a Friday evening. Let’s check out some highlights (and low lights) ....



BRUINS 3 REDWINGS 2: Justin “Eastgate” Mol scored the eventual game winner with only 51 ticks left on the clock as the Bruins snuck by the Redwings 3-2. Fans got their money’s worth as both teams went up and down like a fiddler’s elbow all night. Captain Greg Lintott also added a goal and a hamburger helper for the winners. Wayne Sliwinski stayed out of the box long enough to score for the Redwings who’s elevator brought them to the bottom floor of the standings with the loss.


BLACKHAWKS 5 OILERS 2: Is this a typo? No it’s not because I am typing it. The Oilers actually lost. Ron Cybalski, whose heroics this year doesn’t grow on trees, sawed his way through the Oilers, scoring 3 and adding an assist. Nick Troback and Kyle Oswald can treat themselves to a Denny’s grand slam breakfast after scoring their 1st goals of the season for the winners. On the other side of the ice, Oilers’ Ted MacKenzie and Mark Powell both registered their first penalties of the season. They sat in the box, felt shame, and then they were free. Powell pulled up his pants and tallied a goal and an assist but it was too late.


FLYERS 6 PENGUINS 3: Walter Blagdon continued his dominance, scoring a pair and adding an apple as the Flyers uncapped the Pens and chewed up a 6-3 victory. I get nervous when I see Blagdon shoot a beef meatball toward a defenceman’s shinpad, this guy has a canon of a shot. Tom Mitchell lit the lamp twice for the Flyers while John Mogford  (minus the Sons) scored a beauty of a goal in the opening period.  Both teams are now tied in the standing with 11 points each.



CANADIENS 3 BRUINS 3:  Pregame media scrum turned sour when Canadiens’ Rob Baker was asked what his teams game plan was going in. Baker snarled, looked the camera right in the eye and said, “No one’s talking...  now get lost!” 9:26 later, he found the back of the net to give Les Habitants the lead. Bruins Jon Williamson and John Cvijajovich (say that fast 3 times) both scored their 1st goal of the season while Bruins’ welcomed Randy Roubos into the fold, signing him to a lucrative deal full of performance incentives. Roubos tallied an  assist in his Bruins debut. I would venture to say the Bruins won’t be in the league basement for long. Captain Wayne Sliwinski runs a tight ship and we all know his squad will be ready for playoffs when games mean a lot more...


PENGUINS 6 BLACKHAWKS 4: Penguins Paul Allain is a sniper. I bet when he goes down east, lobsters holding cilantro and lemons jump right out of the damn water onto his plate and say “help yourself, buddy”.  A hat trick by Allain helped the Pens get past the Hawks in an entertaining 6-4 win. Walter Blagdon, speaking of snipers, notched a goal and an assist for the Hawks who give up 1st place in the division to the Penguins. Arena staff are still cleaning up the popcorn, there were so many people watching.


LEAFS 4 FLYERS 3: Leafs goaltender Bill Templeman fought through a battle zone for the last few minutes of this one. Flyers were pressing harder than double grill cheese in a Panini press but Templeman had the Berlin wall set up.

Bob Tenison has his foot floored on the gas yet again, racking up another 3 points while Brock Hotrum snuck 2 past the Leaf goalie before exiting the game with a grade double zed groin pull. He is day-to-day but is looking forward to massage therapy this week, until he realizes it will cost 20 bucks a song. Flyers were also missing Ryan “Lakeshore West Go Train” Maybrey, who will be back in the lineup this weekend. Leafs are now sniffing the division leaders and are poised to take over as contenders. Guy Romeo was unavailable for comment post game.....



FLYERS 2 REDWINGS 1: Robert Jacobs was in the market for a game winning goal and he did just that as the Flyers snuck by the Redwings 2-1 in front of a boisterous crowd. Joe “The Show” Venditti scored a Savardian Spinorama goal for the Flyers while Bill “The Webmaster” Curran replied for the Redwings. After the final horn, both teams complimented each other’s game. Wings Terry Gudgeon made himself available to the media postgame, “Well, the thing is... they have active sticks breaking up our rush and they are quick to move the puck out of their own end..”  Flyers stalward defenceman Gregg Hutchinson played a solid game on the blue line, swatting away any Wings player that came near him, causing nightmares for the opposition.


FLAMES 8 SHARKS 3: Good grief, the scorekeeper went through 3 pens before this was all said and done. Stick tap to Flames’ Dave Jarvis who scored his 1st 2 goals of the season. The Flames passed the puck around like Cheech and Chong passing a giggler around at a campfire. For the Sharks, who are now 5-5 on the season, Mike Archer spearheaded his team with 2 goals while Jimmy Albanese tore up the ice like Brian Boitano after a espresso, scoring a goal in a losing cause.


BLACKHAWKS 4 BRUINS 1: With head coach Bob Schweyer behind the Hawks bench wearing his signature SCOHA fedora, he watched his team trounce the Bruins 4-1. Ed “Shaky” Walton had the moves like Jagr and smiled all the way back to centre ice like he just won Lottario for the 2nd time. Sad news is that Walton will miss a considerabl amount of time with knee rehab. Maybe he can meet up with Intermediate Flyers’ Brock Hotrum at the massage therapist.  Hawks Frank Bortolin fired home his 1st and Len “Downtown” Brown notched his 1st assist of the season for the winners.

Bruins’ Terry Hughes must’ve had Red Bull in his water bottle as he was flying out there like a tsunami was behind him. Meanwhile, Bruins’ Gord Bryce who I am told was called “Sunwing” after the game by his teammates. 2 penalties in the game, both for “trips”.


STARS 2 KINGS 2: Kings’ Ken “Not my Fault” Nault scored his 1st of the season and Stars’ Kelly Rintjema hit the sheets for 2 goals as the Kings and Stars finished up tied 2-2. Stars’ Chris Baratto spoke to reporters after the game, “Both goalies played great but our goalie was gooder. Bill Nye the Science guy has nothing on our keeper.” We were all hoping Kings’ Munish Baranowski would’ve scored a game winner in this game, headline would’ve read MUNISH LIGHTS UP THE STARS, oh well maybe next time.....


That’s all from this end of the ice. Special shout out to some past SCOHA hockey heroes who stopped by the bar on Sunday night for some good laughs. Dave Wichman and yours truly had about 8 guests sit down with us and share some old stories from the league and tournaments. Hope they come back to see everyone again soon!


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA - Nov.14th 2018


PENGUINS 6 BRUINS 1: The Bruins game plan to get out of their 5 game winless slump got eaten by their dog. Mike Haslam fired home a pair of goals and an assist to slide the Penguins to a convincing 6-1 victory. Kevin Clark also added two goals for the winners who move to 2nd place but miles away from the Oilers.


OILERS 4 REDWINGS 2: Redwings Steve North, no relation to adult film star Peter, exploded for his 1st goal of the season in a losing cause, as the Oilers continued their winning ways. Mark Powell was all over the ice, skating so fast we couldn’t read the ads on the boards, scoring a deuce for the winners. Oilers are the first SCOHA team to score 50 this season and have alot more in their can of whoopass. They haven’t lost since we were all in shorts around the pool on September 28th for crying out loud. Someone topple the division leaders!


BLACKHAWKS 9 FLYERS 1: The Flyers were thrown into Hell’s Kitchen where the Blackhawks were cooking up a pot of old fashioned drubbings. Dennis Cybalski led the pack with 4 goals and 2 assists for the game’s first star. Some fans overheard the Harlem Globetrotters whistle song while the Hawks cycled the puck down deep. Ron Cybalski chipped in with a goal and 4 helpers as the Hawks have a point in 4 straight.



BLACKHAWKS 3 CANADIENS 2: Walter Blagdon was all over the ice like flies on a rib roast, collecting 2 goals and adding a helper as the Hawks won a barn burner 3-2 over the struggling Canadiens, who have but one win in their past 4 games. Rob Baker post game, “This Blackhawk team is rolling, there’s not enough mustard for those hotdogs. We were tired, our ligaments in our knees feel like pastrami.”


Canadiens’ Dave Braid scored his 1st of the season in a losing cause but took the game puck home for the mantle.

FLYERS 5 PENGUINS 5: With plenty of scouts in the crowd, the Flyers tied the game with one second left on the clock to grab a point against the surging Penguins. Flyers’ Dave Wichman, showing no ill effects from nagging foot injuries, fired home a goal and 2 apples. Dan Chapados isn’t no slouch either, also scoring a goal and 2 assists for the Flyers.  Al Granata scored his 1st of the year and Luc Guillemette dangled for a pair of goals on the Pens side of the gamesheet.


LEAFS 6 BRUINS 1: The Leafs went to Walmart, picked up a Swiffer Wetjet and cleaned up the Bruins 6-1. With William Nylander still not signed, the Leafs are powering on. A picture perfect game as Jason Aguanno and Chris Scott split the game puck for their 1st goals of the year. Paul Clearly saw the net well, scoring 2 goals for the winners.  Another solid game on the Leafs blueline for Paul McGraw. He skates like a deer out there. Wash the cheese off your Doritos fingers and watch Leafs goalie Bill Templeman play, he has a glove hand that could slice tomatos.



REDWINGS 4 BLACKHAWKS 4: Steady Eddie Walton showed off some crazy skills with a goal and an assist. I mean, this guy’s moves are greasier than the Bacon Bacon box set from little Caesar’s Pizza. Hawks callup Steve Cromwell filled in admirably with 2 goals, hope they bought hima beveridge after the game. Redwings Danny Gabriele was like an angry hornet out there, buzzing around then getting his 1st goal of the season and Vince “Dont call me Freddie” Mercuri scored a hatty and an assist.


BRUINS 4 FLAMES 2: Bruce MacDonald notched his 1st of the season and Dale Brons added a pair as the Bruins won their 3rd straight over the Flames. Bruins are not 2 point out of 1st place, 2 behind the powerhouse Kings.


KINGS 4 SHARKS 2: Charles “Hot Stove” Hostovsky and Al “Just call me Al” Angelone both scored their 1st goals of the season as the Kings won their 5th in a row. Sharks had Jim Albanese back in the lineup after sitting on a beach for 89 days. He set up the Sharks 1st goal with more saucer passes than a 50’s diner.


FLYERS 7 STARS 5: Flyers Gregg Hutchinson’s hammered home his first 2 goals of the season along with 2 assists as the Flyers flew by the Stars 7-5. Stars’ Larry Litzgus dug in his skates, scoring a hat trick and an assist in a losing cause. Stars Chris “Meet me at the” Barratto scored a dandy then showed off his Mike Foligno goal leap, banging his head on the score clock above. He is day to day with a sore noggin.


Well that’s all from this end of the ice... check out the website for all the players stats and come on up to the bar after the game for some good laughs with all your SCOHA hockey heroes...


Chris Marttila

This Week in SCOHA - Nov.6th 2018


OILERS 2 PENGUINS 2 – Quite the battle between the top 2 teams in the division, ending up in a 2-2 saw off. Both teams matched each other’s speed, giving the 5 fans something to cheer about at more than one occasion. Both goalies made some beauty saves, worthy of the front page if we had a league newspaper. Steve Ditta great job collecting a goal and an assist for the Oil while the Haslam brothers sandwiched together a goal each for the Penguins. The tie snapped a damn swell 4 game winning streak by the Oilers.

FLYERS 7 BRUINS 2 – Holy hockey sticks, the Flyers fired up the cappuccino machine before the game and skated for miles, upending the Bruins 7-2. Walt Blagdon has a plastic bag of hats thanks to his 3 goals and all the fans showering the ice with ball caps. Stick tap to Tom Mitchell for notching his first 2 goals of the season. Chris Piche was as cool as the other side of the pillow in the Flyers net. Shawn Rowell had the saucer passes flying with 3 assists for the winners who snapped a 3 game losing streak.

BLACKHAWKS 5 REDWINGS 2 – Dennis Cybalski (aka Johnny Hustle) chipped in with a 4 point night, Rick Clark fired home a pair as the Blackhawks took care of the Redwings 5-2. Dave Kat, who admitted his team was dog tired, scored for the Wings who look to get back in the win column this week.


FLYERS 6 CANADIENS 0 – The Flyers played a Canadiens team more tired than a pair of dentures after a cold buffet, folding up the habs like a lawnchair by the score of 6-0. Canadiens were missing their sniper, Rob Baker, who was out in Welland attending a holiday card painting workshop. Mike Miscio was nursing a sore leg , gave it a go but exited the game after a few shifts. We hope he is back out there soon. The Flyers took the leash off and let the dog run as Jay Hoffman scored a hatty while Conrad and Brock “Hot Wheels” Hotrum continued to play an excellent brand of hockey. Ryan “Go Train” Maybrey carried on his defensive play as a Canadien was overhead saying it’s like trying to skateboard around the CN tower for f sake... Dave “Coach” Wichman threw on the twirlers and rejoined the lineup after his foot was more bruised than Donald Trump’s ego after a pep rally.

PENGUINS 1 LEAFS 0 – March of the Penguins continues as they waddled away with a 1-0 win and now boast a modest 3 game winning streak. Garnet Wilson stopped all 48 shots he faced in the penguins net, crumbling up pucks and putting them on a salad for all to see. Leafs played with more call ups than Bell Canada has ever seen. “No one knew half the guy’s names out there, we were all Buddy”, Leafs Guy Romeo said after the game. Both goalies played great, complimented each other’s game afterwards, and shared a glass of milk up at the bar afterwards. A lot of Proline tickets for the “over” were seen wrapped up in the arena lobby after this defensive battle.

BLACKHAWKS 4 BRUINS 2 – John Hewitt iced 3 goals as the Hawks creamed the Bruins 4-2 to retain first place in their division. The Hawks can feel teams breathing down their necks so snapping their 2 game losing streak came at a good time. Tim Pettitt sacked a goal and an assist for the Bruins who were pressing for the equalizer late but Jeff Davis scored an empty netter for the victors.


SHARKS 4 FLYERS 1 – Mike Laing blasted his 1st of the season and Richard Paquet dusted off 21 saves as the Sharks dismembered the Flyers 4-1 . The Sharks really tightened the screws defensively, something player coach Ron Cooper praised after the game. “We are here to win, not to entertain the fans with a 9-8 game. Defense is our style, and defense wins championships. Side note: the 50/50 for 3 bucks still has not been claimed, winnings will be doubled for next game, bring the kids.

FLAMES 2 REDWINGS 2 – The Flames have more crazy ties than Don Cherry this year, recording their 4th in a row. Redwings picked up 2 goals from Vince Mercuri, who played out of this world all night, while teammate Terry kept Gudgeon along, adding 2 assists. Marc Verrier and Bob Tirnanic sunk a goal each for the Flames. Let’s cheer these fellas on in hopes of a win this weekend, not another tie...

BRUINS 5 STARS 4 – If you were home sorting socks, you missed one hell of a hockey game. The Bruins and Stars provided an entertaining game, eventually won by the Big Bad Bruins 5-4. 5 different scorers for the Bruins while Guy “Remmington” Shaver continued to nik his way into the SCOHA record books with his offensive prowess, adding 3 goals and an assist to his totals. A few Bruins defencemen spoke about Shaver’s speed, “It’s like we are skating in pickle jars when he skates around us and we all know it is impossible to skate in pickle jars.” Dale “Cuba Vacation” Brons kept pace atop the scoring leaders with a goal and 2 apples.

KINGS 3 BLACKHAWKS 2 – Henry Marfisi lured in 2 goals and an assist to help Kings squeak by the Blackhawks 3-2. Paul “Quick Draw” McGraw scored his first of the season for the Hawks, as well as Ken Zrobok, congrats guys! The Kings’ Charles “Hot Stove” Hostovsky made the score sheet for the first time this year, despite being for a slashing minor.

Plenty of close races in all three divisions as we skate head down into November. Rivalries are starting to form and more players are hanging out up at the bar for some good laughs. Gotta love hockey season...

That’s all from this end of the ice...

Chris Marttila


This Week in SCOHA - Oct.30th, 2018

Before puck drop, let’s hope the guy who broke his femur this past weekend is feeling a bit better and knows we were all worried about him. 

With Halloween less than a day away, several players brought out their special broomsticks, showed some tricks, and treated themselves to their first goal of the season. Stick tap to all 10 of you who scored. More firsts than Grade 8 prom night for crying out loud.

PENGUINS 3 REDWINGS 2: The Haslam brothers did the heavy lifting for the Penguino’s as they rallied past the Redwings 3-2. Dale Scott had some pre-Halloween sugar and scored a goal and an assist for the Redwings in a losing cause. Both teams are fighting for 2nd place trying to catch the Oilers for the division lead.

BLACKHAWKS 4 BRUINS 4: Dino LaPorta earned the construction helmet in the locker room after the game as he helped his Blackhawks tie the Bruins 4-4. LaPorta notched 2 goals and an assist while Justin Mol filled the net like a crab expedition on Deadliest Catch with 4 goals on the night.

OILERS 7 FLYERS 4: Jacob Denobriga had more luck than a 2-time Lottomax winner, firing home 4 goals for the winners. Flyers had 4 different goal scorers, who dip to 3-4-1 on the season. Flyers had the Nickelback tunes blaring in the room pre-game but that didn’t make a difference on this night.

PENGUINS 4 BRUINS 3: If you think the Penguins are about to slow down their pace, clearly it is time to pay your tab and leave the bar. Troy Izlakar drove the guys home with a goal and 2 assists while Bruins’ Wayne Sliwinski reminds us of a swiss army knife, he’s several parts to his game we would all want, adding 2 goals and an apple. Bruins are sitting in the basement but will get some more nails in the roof and be ready for next week. Bruins’ Tim Pettitt post game, “Well we can’t let our slow start get to us, we need to get more shots on goal and drive the net more. It’s still early, so stop asking me these ridiculous questions.” Bruins’ Denis Martin is still smiling like he slept with a hanger in his mouth after his 1st of the season.

FLYERS 4 BLACKHAWKS 2: For the Blackhawks, the cheese fell off the cracker on this night as the Flyers doubled up the Hawks 4-2. Brock “Nifty Mitts” Hotrum scored a goal and added 2 apples while Veljko try and pronounce his last name is still hanging off the glass after scoring a beaut for his 1st. Hawks’ Gary Poole put the winter cover on his 1st goal of this long season as well. The injury bug is going through the Flyers room like a redneck’s tooth through a cob of corn, but as team captain Dave Wichman adds, “My foot feels like the size of a vacuum cleaner right now but once I can get a damn skate on, I will be back in the best shape ever.”

CANADIENS 2 LEAFS 1: A Hockey Night in Canada slugfest had hockey fans smiling like a butcher’s dog waiting for this one. Habs’ Rob Baker was running the arena stairs before the game but got lost in the north end stairwell. Once he emerged, he found the net for the game winner. He is playing some king size kit kat hockey right now and has his team skating like they mean it. The Leafs offense got tangled up like a bag of Christmas lights but will find their stride next week. Both goalie’s stood on their ear lobes on this night.

STARS 6 BLACKHAWKS 3: Guy Shaver is the Chevy Silverado of the league right now. He racked up a hattie and an assist to spearhead the Stars over the Hawks 6-3. Stars’ goalkeeper Brian Deanes new pre-game yoga routine seems to be working wonders as he is knocking off each team one by one. Larry Litzgus also threw his hat into the circle, adding 3 assists for the Stars. Looks like ghosts scored 2 of the 3 Hawk goals as the scoresheet was left blank on 2 occasions. When Hawks forward Ed Walton was approached by reporters post-game, he added, “We telegraphed a few passes like it was 1837...” Brad Kinnear scored a “spook-tacular” goal for his first of the year.

FLYERS 2 FLAMES 2: Both teams played a solid 200 foot game as fans went home either happy or sad thanks to a 2-2 draw. Enzo Giammichele (say that fast 3 times) scored a pretty sweet goal for his 1st of the year, going end to end like our old buddy, Bobby Orr once did. Words fail me on what else to say about this game... Zamboni missed a spot, i dunno....

KINGS 7 REDWINGS 1: A real saliva test for the Redwings went south in a hurry as the Wings got folded up like a used picnic blanket 7-1 by the Kings. Jim Marfisi and Rob “chicken and cheese” Nacha led the way with 3 points each while the Kings defence was tighter than a snare drum. Another 2 goals for Joe “thank you very” Muchynski, great game fellas. Redwings remained on the ice post-game for a no-puck intense practice, they are promising a solid effort next week.

BRUINS 3 SHARKS 2: Mike Martini poured himself his 1st of the season but it wasn’t enough as the Bruins harpooned the Sharks 3-2 in front of a small crowd Sunday night. The 50/50 winner took home 3 bucks, but someone shorted a dime. Thanks to Joe LoCicero for donating the losing amount. Bruins Gary Guthro, back after a few weeks, went bar down with a nifty goal to lead the winners. Mike Archer did his part, setting up 2 goals for the Sharks.

That’s all from this end of the ice...

Chris Marttila

CARHA Insurance

New Forms

A new Navigation menu option Insurance has been created on the left hand side below the Jim Mercanti option and above the Replacement Players option.

This is a pull-down menu with the following selections :

Accident Claim Form - print this form and submit a claim

Printable Insurance Card - print this personal card

Certificate of Insurance - copy of our league insurance certificate

These are all in PDF format - you will require a PDF reader to view/print.



This Week in SCOHA - Oct.22nd 2018

Live from Sick Bay, here is this week’s blog.  Stick tap to the team reps using the game sheet labels. There are a few player stats pending, they will be updated for next week. This Week’s “Shout Out”  goes to our league referee’s who could be home with their wives watching pvr reruns of This is Us with their significant other but are helping us out at the rink and doing a great job. Thanks guys!


2 points separate 2nd from 6th... quite the logjam as teams try to catch the league leading Oilers...

PENGUINS 6 BLACKHAWKS 6:  Both teams threw everything into the air on this night. Mike Troback and Ron Cybalski potted 3 points each for the Hawks while Mike Haslam fired home the hatty and an assists for the Penguins.  Defense in this game had more holes than a lawn dart game at Stevie Wonder’s house.

OILERS 5 BRUINS 3: Oilers sniper Mark Powell had a point outage on this night, but his teammates came through with a 5-3 triumph over the Bruins to build their division lead. Steve Ditta continues to impress scouts with 2 goals for the Oil while Justin Mol was slicker than two steel wheels in a bucket of lard, firing home 2 for the Bruins.

REDWINGS 3 FLYERS 2: Ryan “a5-35” Aikens scored a goal and added a helper as the Redwings grounded the Flyers 3-2 in front of an announced crowd of 4. Walt Blagdon has 2 apples for the Flyers who remain in the hunt in a tight division race.


4 points from 1st to last as all 6 teams are closer than Ernie & Bert on Valentine’s Day.

PENGUINS 3 CANADIENS 1: Peter Subar notched his 1st goal of the season and Steve Paglie saucer passed a few helpers as the Penguins beat up “Rob Baker’s Dozen” by a score of 3-1. Dave Armstrong powered the winning troops with a goal and an assist for the happy Penguins as they move within 2 points of the division lead.

LEAFS 5 BLACKHAWKS 1: Bob Tenison is getting more ink on the spreadsheet than Axl Rose’s arms, adding to his point totals with 2 more goals and an assist as Leaf Nation knocked off the Blackhawks 5-1. Leafs defenceman Guy Romeo post game, “This was a measuring stick for our hockey club. Blackhawks are the team to beat, their goaltender has been standing on his ear lobes all year and we grabbed the 2 points. Let’s load up the bus and get ready for next week, things are going good for us right now.”  Hawks Walter Blagdon added a goal to keep his torrid scoring pace rolling, currently in 2nd with 11 points, 2 back of Tenison. Blackhawks 13 goals against as a team is the best of all 3 divisions, well done, gang.

BRUINS 9 FLYERS 6: A shootout at the stampede corral as the Bruins folded up the Flyers like a used picnic blanket. Missing 3 key spokes in their tire, the Flyers, led by Brock Hotrum’s 5 point night, ran out of gas. Richard Forester with 5 points, Wayne Sliwinski added 3 points and Tim Pettitt picked up 2 points for the Bruins, who were the friendly giants to start the year but are shaking the rust off, making their move up the standings.  Subbing in for the Flyers, stick tap to Dave Langille sniping 2 goals.


3 points separate 1st from 7th as the masters Division starts to heat up.

STARS 4 SHARKS 1: Stars’ Chris Baratto with the goal of the year candidate, scoring his 1st of the season and celebrating like a hula dancer with the hiccups. Big win for the Stars as they creep within 2 points of 1st place. Brian Deanes kept the Sharks in their cage with several key stops throughout the game. Baratto post game scrum was interrupted by Morgana the kissing bandit, who just wanted to help share in his jubilation.  Sharks need to pick up the dust and get ready for next week.

REDWINGS 2 BRUINS 1: Quite the defensive battle as the Redwings squeeked by the Bruins 2-1 on Terry Gudgeon bobble head night. The score was indicative of the play, as there were several chances on goal. Scott Johnson and sub Alex Greychuck played well. Players were left wondering if there was cellophane across the nets. Huge win for the Wings!

BLACKHAWKS 3 FLAMES 3: The Blackhawks will take the point and run with it back to the airport as they tied the Flames 3-3 on a chilly Sunday night. 2 goals and an assist for Flames’ Peter Fantauzzo while teammate Jason Anderson fired home a goal and 1 helpers for the Flames. Bill Jircos has a can of pop pre-game, went out there and scored a goal and an assist, so did Ed “Shaky” Walton who’s skating is as smooth as a stucco bathtub but he continues to impress on the game sheet.

KINGS 7 FLYERS 1: just best to get one of these games out of the way and move on. The Flyers aren’t about to use a toaster and a radio for bath toys but they were man handled (inset your own pun here) on this night by an eager and waiting Kings team 7-1 Missing some key players, the Flyers D was shakier than my all night espresso bender. Bruce Gunby found the range on 3 goals, added an assist while Joe “Thank you Very” Muchynski added 2 goals and 2 assists for the winning side. Joe Venditti after the game, “Disappointing loss. We left our goalie out to dry. We will go over some game films if we can get our betamax working again, and be ready for next week, I am guaranteeing our fans a W next week!”

That’s all from this end of the ice...

Chris Marttila



This Week in SCOHA - Oct 16th 2018


OILERS 7 BLACKHAWKS 1: The Oilers just keep on rolling, trouncing the Blackhawks 7-1. A team effort as several different players scored for the division leaders. This game was more overmatched than Mike Tyson trying to recite the alphabet. Blackhawks refuse to let this game ruin a great room. Towering Hawks player Pat Robb post game, “We just have to hit the gym again tomorrow, stay positive, and come back to the rink next week and get a W.”

PENGUINS 6 FLYERS 2: Michael Haslam all wondering who that guy was out there! #87 scored 3 times for the Pens as they wrote up a 6-2 win against their arch rivals, the Flyers. Flyers vow to play some rock music before next game to get the energy levels up a bit higher after this loss that has them 3 point out of first place. “We let this one get away, give them credit, they showed up at the rink with their work boots on, we didn’t”, a somber Carlo Greco explained.

BRUINS 3 REDWINGS 3: Justin Mol and Bob Tenison both had a pair of goals for their respective teams as the game ended in a 3-3 saw-off. Defense was tighter than a snare drum on this night as both teams seemed to execute the trap better than Captain Highliner.


CANADIENS 4 BRUINS 1: Rob Baker had a can of Jolt Cola before the game which gave him enough energy to score 2 goals for the Habs. Alfonso Tinebro canned 2 assists for the winners while Wayne Sliwinski tallied the lone marker for the Bruins who are off to a slow start. Rumours are starting to swirl about a coaching replacement for the 1-4 Bruins but it’s still early...

BLACKHAWKS 3 PENGUINS 0: The first place Blackhawks cooled off the Penguins 3-0 thanks to goaltender Steve Cuthbert’s shutout. The Penguins offense folded up like an Ontario map but they fired a ton of pucks at Cuthbert. Back to the drawing board for the Penguins next week.

LEAFS 6 FLYERS 3: Bob Tenison put a bandage on this one with a pair of goals while Paul Cleary saw the ice well on this night, adding 3 assists. Flyers were down a couple key players as Dave Wichman and Jason Hoffman missed the game due to injury. Both are lower body, team refused comment after the game. Bill Templeman made more saves than a Baywatch lifeguard, making some key stops as the Flyers began to surge in the second period.


KINGS 2 BRUINS 1: Henry Marfisi and Bob Wallace each potted 2 points each, rolling up a key win, as the Kings skated all over the joint in a 2-1 win over the Bruins. Cheesy cannabis puns aside, this defensive battle was a throwback to the old days.  Bruins goalie Joe Locicero made several dazzling saves, looking like Animal from the Muppets behind the drums with quick hands throughout the game.

SHARKS 3 REDWINGS 1: Mark Shadwell wasn’t tired from all the turkey as he helped the Sharks put a bite into the Redwings 3-1 in front of a packed crowd. Mike Archer spearheaded the win with 2 assists while Brian McNamara found the twine for the Redwings who sit in the middle of a log jam in the standings.

BLACKHAWKS 6 FLYERS 2: Bill Kircos napped for 4 hours before the game, grabbed a triple double en route to the rink and played the game of his life, scoring 2 goals for the Hawks in a 6-2 win over the Flyers. Tony Vastano chipped in with 3 points to get the Hawks their first win of the season. Arena staff stayed late to sweep up all the wripped up Pro Line tickets after this one. Hawks Danny Wilde began singing we are the champions in the locker room post game but was quickly reminded about more than ¾ of the schedule remains. Congrats on the win, fellas!

STARS 5 FLAMES 4: Larry Litzgus must’ve liked the scorekeepers perfume as he made his way to the box twice but Stars goalie Brian Deanes shut the door helping the Stars outshine the Flames 5-4. Pat McAleese notched a 3 point night while Bob Tirnanic found the net twice for the Flames who slipped to 2-3 on the year. Plenty of time left guys.

That’s all from this end of the ice...

PS: stick tap to the teams using the pre-printed roster labels!!!!! Makes things alot easier for me....

Chris Marttila