This Week in SCOHA - Nov.14th 2018


JUNIOR DIVISION:

PENGUINS 6 BRUINS 1: The Bruins game plan to get out of their 5 game winless slump got eaten by their dog. Mike Haslam fired home a pair of goals and an assist to slide the Penguins to a convincing 6-1 victory. Kevin Clark also added two goals for the winners who move to 2nd place but miles away from the Oilers.

 

OILERS 4 REDWINGS 2: Redwings Steve North, no relation to adult film star Peter, exploded for his 1st goal of the season in a losing cause, as the Oilers continued their winning ways. Mark Powell was all over the ice, skating so fast we couldn’t read the ads on the boards, scoring a deuce for the winners. Oilers are the first SCOHA team to score 50 this season and have alot more in their can of whoopass. They haven’t lost since we were all in shorts around the pool on September 28th for crying out loud. Someone topple the division leaders!

 

BLACKHAWKS 9 FLYERS 1: The Flyers were thrown into Hell’s Kitchen where the Blackhawks were cooking up a pot of old fashioned drubbings. Dennis Cybalski led the pack with 4 goals and 2 assists for the game’s first star. Some fans overheard the Harlem Globetrotters whistle song while the Hawks cycled the puck down deep. Ron Cybalski chipped in with a goal and 4 helpers as the Hawks have a point in 4 straight.

 

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

BLACKHAWKS 3 CANADIENS 2: Walter Blagdon was all over the ice like flies on a rib roast, collecting 2 goals and adding a helper as the Hawks won a barn burner 3-2 over the struggling Canadiens, who have but one win in their past 4 games. Rob Baker post game, “This Blackhawk team is rolling, there’s not enough mustard for those hotdogs. We were tired, our ligaments in our knees feel like pastrami.”

 

Canadiens’ Dave Braid scored his 1st of the season in a losing cause but took the game puck home for the mantle.

FLYERS 5 PENGUINS 5: With plenty of scouts in the crowd, the Flyers tied the game with one second left on the clock to grab a point against the surging Penguins. Flyers’ Dave Wichman, showing no ill effects from nagging foot injuries, fired home a goal and 2 apples. Dan Chapados isn’t no slouch either, also scoring a goal and 2 assists for the Flyers.  Al Granata scored his 1st of the year and Luc Guillemette dangled for a pair of goals on the Pens side of the gamesheet.

 

LEAFS 6 BRUINS 1: The Leafs went to Walmart, picked up a Swiffer Wetjet and cleaned up the Bruins 6-1. With William Nylander still not signed, the Leafs are powering on. A picture perfect game as Jason Aguanno and Chris Scott split the game puck for their 1st goals of the year. Paul Clearly saw the net well, scoring 2 goals for the winners.  Another solid game on the Leafs blueline for Paul McGraw. He skates like a deer out there. Wash the cheese off your Doritos fingers and watch Leafs goalie Bill Templeman play, he has a glove hand that could slice tomatos.

 

MASTERS DIVISION:

REDWINGS 4 BLACKHAWKS 4: Steady Eddie Walton showed off some crazy skills with a goal and an assist. I mean, this guy’s moves are greasier than the Bacon Bacon box set from little Caesar’s Pizza. Hawks callup Steve Cromwell filled in admirably with 2 goals, hope they bought hima beveridge after the game. Redwings Danny Gabriele was like an angry hornet out there, buzzing around then getting his 1st goal of the season and Vince “Dont call me Freddie” Mercuri scored a hatty and an assist.

 

BRUINS 4 FLAMES 2: Bruce MacDonald notched his 1st of the season and Dale Brons added a pair as the Bruins won their 3rd straight over the Flames. Bruins are not 2 point out of 1st place, 2 behind the powerhouse Kings.

 

KINGS 4 SHARKS 2: Charles “Hot Stove” Hostovsky and Al “Just call me Al” Angelone both scored their 1st goals of the season as the Kings won their 5th in a row. Sharks had Jim Albanese back in the lineup after sitting on a beach for 89 days. He set up the Sharks 1st goal with more saucer passes than a 50’s diner.

 

FLYERS 7 STARS 5: Flyers Gregg Hutchinson’s hammered home his first 2 goals of the season along with 2 assists as the Flyers flew by the Stars 7-5. Stars’ Larry Litzgus dug in his skates, scoring a hat trick and an assist in a losing cause. Stars Chris “Meet me at the” Barratto scored a dandy then showed off his Mike Foligno goal leap, banging his head on the score clock above. He is day to day with a sore noggin.

 

Well that’s all from this end of the ice... check out the website for all the players stats and come on up to the bar after the game for some good laughs with all your SCOHA hockey heroes...

 

Chris Marttila

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