Tuesday, September 23rd, 2025

Elbow’s up, fellas, it’s the season premiere of this silly blog. This year, we welcome the Grand Masters Kraken as a team. What’s a Kraken? No, it’s not the view you get when the plumber is bent over trying to unclog the kitchen sink.

A Kraken is a legendary sea monster of enormous size, per its etymology something akin to a cephalopod, said to appear in the Norwegian Sea off the coast of Norway. Ya… just as I thought.

United Division:

These fellas get underway this weekend. Lots of new players, should be an exciting year of fast hockey. Catch all the action with the new SCHOHA+ tv package, just send me $399.99 via e-transfer and you are good to go.

 Masters Division:

A few players made the leap from United to Masters because they can. Senators Marc “taco” Bellhumeur is a fast, sneaky player out there. Rumour is he once cut through Sears to get to the mall without buying anything and he often stops the microwave with 1 second left.

Senators 5 Leafs 3: The aforementioned Marc Bellhumeur, along with Brock Hotrum both scored a pair of goals as the Sens defeated the Leafs 5-3. Some Chris Marttila character also scored on a breakaway from his own blueline to get the ball rolling for the Sens. Scott Mlekuz turned aside 18 shots for the victory, his first in SCOHA. Scott took the puck home and put it on his mantle for everyone to see. For the Leafs, wiley veteran Nick Miscione, Larry Litzgus and Bob “happy” Ballantyne lit the lamp in a losing cause. Stick-tap to Leaf goalkeeper Sandro Morrone who made about eight 5-star saves to keep his team in it. Rumour has it Sandro stopped Hurricane Gabrille by holding up his blocker last month. On a serious note, 9 seconds into this game, Mike Archer sustained a pretty bad shoulder injury and we are all hoping Mike is ok and gets better soon. Hate to see an injury any time but the first game makes it even more upsetting. We are thinking about you, Mike!

Sharks 3 Bruins 3: DiGiacinto to Manella… sounds like a train ticket in Itay. These two grizzly veterans worked damn hard in the off season to make this team and sure enough… they did. Dave Langille dodged a huge gout scare from eating too many steaks and is ready to duplicate his strong season he had last year. Saulnier dropped a deuce and Jason Hoffman added another as the Sharks tied the pesky Bruins 3-3. For the Bruins, Captain and the nicest guy in organized sports, Richard Forster scored a pair while Bill “aluminum” Foley also found the twine. Foley, apparently apologized to media for his comments toward Chinese food in the summer. He came into the rink about 30 pounds lighter and is poised to regain his scoring prowess of the late 80’s when he led the Milton Mallards to a championship.

Grand Masters Division:

Sharks 4 Flyers 0: Brian Deanes turned aside 22 shots for the goose egg as the Sharks took a bite out of the Flyers 4-nil in their season opener. Talk about a cockroach on a birthday cake, the Flyers with their amazing looking jerseys, took this one hard as they wanted to win it for their 6 returning season-ticket holders. Don’t sell the furniture just yet, guys, it’s a long season. Guy “Remington” Shaver is still a good hockey player, smoother than a bowl of Hungarian onion soup. He scored a hatty for the winners and is now only 613 goals back of Islander great Brian Trottier in the all-time list. That #16 kid on the Flyers, Jim Albanese. He is a symbol of resiliency, strength and enduring spirit on and off the ice. Great seeing Jimmy back in our damn league. Oh ya, Mike Vanderzee had 3 breakaways but hit the glass twice and took out the Zamboni drivers light switch to sound the buzzer...

Blackhawks 4 Stars 1: Nathan Seepersaud knows how to score goals. He is a definite beacon of hope for this Blackhawk team looking to take the next step this season and win a cup for their fanbase. Nathan scored a pair of beauties while Steph Rioux and Serge Santinon added singles for the W. Stars were a bit slow out of the gate but captain, GM and all-around nice guy Chris Baratto told media afterwards that this game smelled like a wet sidewalk but he is guaranteeing a solid effort this upcoming weekend. I trust Chris and I will take the Stars on my proline ticket. Steve MacDonald had the lone Stars snipe for those keeping track at home.

Kraken 2 Bruins 0: Joe DeFaria stopped 19 pucks for the bagel as the Kraken got past the Bruins 2-0 in front of an announced crowd of.. well no one but still. Marc Ayotte and Frank Jambrosich scored for the Krack. Frank Jambrosich is back for his 24th season. His tireless leadership on the ice is second to none and he even puts sun chips in his sandwiches. Anyone see Al Angelone out there? Good luck trying to get around this guy, he did arm stretches all summer to get a longer reach. Kraken were missing 4 players who missed the team bus but still managed to stave off the Bruins.

Premium Plus players of the Week:

United Division: No one because they didn’t play.

Masters Division: Steve Saulnier (Sharks)

Grand Masters: Guy Shaver (Sharks)

That’s all from this end of the ice. For those who are feeling like they got ran over by the Barton #2 bus after last night’s game, rest up, we are back at it soon.

Heads up, the Hockey Pool sheets are available, season starts 1st week of October. I emailed the sheet out to everyone, message me if you need a copy. I will also have some printed off for this weekend. Have a great rest of the week.

Chris Marttila

SCOHA Blog Guy