This Week in SCOHA – December 14th, 2022
The Pre-Storm Edition
Well folks, Shelley from CHCH news is warning us of a winter ice storm on Thursday but lucky for us, we Scohaians know how to maneuver on slippery terrain. Bring it on. But first, let’s take a dive into last week’s action before things freeze up on us.
UNITED DIVISION:
Sun. Dec.11th:
BLACKHAWKS 5 FLYERS 1: What in the name of Lanny MacDonald happened here? The Flyers were ready to rock and roll with most of their players back in the lineup but they got folded up like an origami swan 5-1 courtesy of the surging Blackhawks. I don’t know about you but I think these Hawks are starting to find their stride. By the end of January they will be sniffing at top place, you heard it here first and it is NUFD (not up for discussion). Dave “magic” Johnson dropped a deuce for the hawks and Andrew “I can see for” Miles also scored for Chicago and added a helper for good measure. Xavier “thriller” Jackson turned away 31 shots for the win as a spare while workhorse Paul Davis replied for the Flyers. Trust me, fellas, the Flyers will be ready this week, they are not happy with this loss.
OILERS 4 BRUINS 2: The Oilers are slicker than two steel wheels in a bucket of lard. The train kept rolling as they doubled up the Bruins 4-2. Jason “hugh” Hoffman scores goals while in mid-nap. He has learned to be more patient with the puck and utilize his leg strength along the dasher boards. Hoffman scored a pair (one on a penalty shot) and added an assist for the winners. Jim DaSilva started eating a meatball sub before games and is on a modest 2 game scoring streak now. He tipped home a missile by Ken “giraffe” Hutchinson to keep the streak alive. Leafs’ Mitch Marner has him beat by 21 games but a streak is a streak. The giraffe also scored and added 2 assists for the game puck.
CANADIENS 4 SHARKS 2: This game was nuts. Sharks were down 5 guys and the Canadiens had 3 scratches but this one was pretty intense, just like camping. 4 different Habs lit the lamp and Jonas Scott, filling in for Bruno Santanato, made several 5-alarm saves. The game winner came off the stick of Bill “aluminum” Foley, an absolute roof job that will most definitely come with a guaranteed 25-year warranty which will cover all materials, installation and defects. What a shot!
MASTERS DIVISION:
Fri. Dec.9th:
STARS 3 REDWINGS 1: These Redwings were certainly fired up for this one despite missing 5 guys due to either illness or having to sit through “Oh No Will He Come Back For Christmas” on the W-network. At any rate, the Stars held off the Wings 3-1 and continued their pursuit of 1st place, currently occupied by the red-hot Flames. Alfonso “timberrrrr!” Tinebra scored the game winner and followed that up with a short-handed goal to top things off. For the Redwings, Max “McCain Rising Crust” Pizzingrilli scored the lone goal in a losing cause, assisted by Eric “stop guzzling it, we have plenty of time” Sippel.
FLYERS 3 BLACKHAWKS 2: If we had our names on the back of our jerseys, would Enzo Giammichele’s name fit on his? They might have to go with a smaller font but anyways, Enzo scored the game winning goal which is more important. Here’s a shocker, Dave Armstrong scored a couple more goals. I bet he could score top corner while sitting at the bubble hockey game up at the bar with a pint of Belgian Moon in his hand and that useless slice of orange in the other. Hawks got a snipe from Brunce Gunby (and the range) that the guys were still talking about this morning at practice.
PENGUINS 5 SHARKS 3: Sharks John Elter jogged to the rink he had so much energy to burn. He ended up scoring a hatty but the Sharks fell 5-3 to the Penguins. Steve Kivell continued his point a game pace, scoring 2 for the winners. Captain Steve Smith only comes to the rink to win. None of this fun before and after the game nonsense. Just to win. He scored a goal and set up another for the W.
Sun. Dec.11th:
STARS 2 FLAMES 2: this was a showdown of the Master’s two hottest team. Flames and Stars have a rivalry that dates back to the old WHA days where tube skates and goggles were mainstays in players hockey bags. I think Stars Chris Barratto played in those games but has since discarded his goggles for a more modern look, one that attracts the ladies but anyways… Flames Rick “tic tok” Estok scored on a spin-o-rama then leaped the glass to celebrate. He fell through and had to be held up by the Zamboni driver but still. Stars Frank “borderline” Bortolin scored a beaut to preserve the tie.
REDWINGS 11 SHARKS 3: Like I said, these Redwings are playing some damn entertaining hockey of late. John “it’s late, just get in the” Carvalho, Grant Voisin, Paul Buzzelli and a determined Wing club beat the Sharks 11-3. Let’s pause for a few minutes and turn the spotlight onto Shark defenceman and powerplay catalyst Len “downtown” Brown, the galloping gourmet of SCOHA. This guy can dish a pass off three legs to get to his intended recipient out there without a blink of an eye. His work ethic is second to none and his garage door has more dents than Metallica’s drum set. We all better hope Brown keeps registering for hockey because fans drive in from out of town each week to watch him skate. This player spotlight was brought to you by Esso, going that extra mile for over 85 years.
BLACKHAWKS 7 BRUINS 5: Larry Litzgus likes to light the lamp. Say that fast 5 times because the Larrinator had 5 more goals to lift the hawks to a 7-5 win over Gord Bryce’s Bruins. It was Gord’s 28th birthday but the Hawks could’ve cared less. Steve Horner scored a pair of goals for the Bruins in a losing cause. Hawks Bob Wallace scored a crazy goal that keeps making the rounds on the Instagram and that twitter thing. Over 10 views so far, way to go, Bob! Dave Langille, the setup guy. If you are looking to find a lady, take Dave with you to the bar, he always gets assists and is there to help out his teammates.
FLYERS 5 PENGUINS 2: The guys in orange came to play. No clowning around, it was strictly business for the Flyers as they ransacked the penguins 5-2 things could’ve got worse but Brian Deanes playes a fantastic game and was rewarded with the Molson Cup third star of the game. In the other net was Steve Cuthbert who rarely lets in a goal, even in warmup. Nick Miscione scored a pair of goals to lift the Flyers to victory. Watch out for these guys in the playoffs. Yes I understand playoffs are 81 months away but I just want to say it now before I forget. Also, stick tap to Frank “power” Sergi, a SCOHA future hall of famer who assisted on 2 goals for the winners. This guy has hands like the opposite of cement, folks.
Well that just about puts red and green wrapping paper on the week that was in Scohaville. Just a heads up, it’s SCOHA night at the Toronto Rock lacrosse game this Saturday night at Copps Coliseum. Meet up in the lobby before 5:30, we will get tickets in a group then have a great time watching the Rock take on their arch-rival Buffalo Bandits. See you there!
Ps: someone post another old SCOHA team photo onto the facebook page so we can try and identify the players, it’s great to see the old photos!
Chris Marttila
SCOHA Blogologist / A.A.N.G. (all-around nice guy)