This Week in SCOHA - April 22, 2020

Earth Day Edition

What on earth is going on? While the Covid19 cases are rising more than a Chris Barratto low blocker-side wrister, some SCOHA heroes have been spotted keeping their skills sharp overseas in Sweden. They are all waiting for the green light to finish off our season but we are all still waiting for the lights to get turned on at the quad pad. Every store there is like an Ikea. The national tool is an allan key. Swedish meatballs are just called meatballs. No one has a clue who the Swedish Chef is…  I can go on…..
Some rumours swirling around the water cooler this week had our season continuing in late-July at a neutral arena in South Florida so get your swimming trunks ready and make sure your will is updated.

For some players who are more seasoned than a cedar-plank salmon, getting back to the norm will be a smooth and welcome transition. Others will wear out the conveyor belt on the tread mill once the virus cases start to lower in our city. I don’t know about your neck of the woods but looking outside my window at the park, I see more fivesomes than a Ron Jeremy video. If our mayor, who by the way has the most tired eyes I have ever seen since Cheech & Chong went up in smoke back in ’82, doesn’t clamp down on the social distancing, we will definitely not be getting back to the arena until winter.
While league news has been few and far between lately, word leaked out that the Master’s Flames fans have been illegally recording the opposition. Sign stealing will definitely be addressed at the next league meeting and the Flames may be penalized by taking away their 10th round draft pick. We reached out to several Flame players and staff but they refuse to comment.
Stars Dale Brons was accused of swearing at a referee while at a nearby park but surveillance video was found to be useless because Dale was wearing a mask. He was given a warning by league president Terry Gudgeon and he promised to keep a minimum of 60 feet from any referee until play resumes.
Thank heavens the sports channels are replaying great games. TSN (The Scoha Network) will be airing an old Intermediate playoff beauty over the weekend. A young and clean-shaven Joe Lociccero between the pipes facing off against a budding superstar by the name of Dennis Dion. There isn’t enough popcorn and orange Fanta to go around to watch this one.
So that’s about all she wrote for this week. Thanks for the guys who posted vintage SCOHA photos a few weeks back, it definitely brought back some memories for many. Also, if there is any league news, you will be notified. Have a great rest of the week, fellas!

Chris Marttila

Stoney Creek Oldtimers Hockey Association