This Week in SCOHA – December 11th, 2018

JUNIOR DIVISION:

No games this week but I had a chance to chat with Bruins goalkeeper Roman Bratovz up at the Hot Stove Lounge and we chatted about his past SCOHA achievements and had some laughs over a few Carlsberg’s. Roman’s resume boasts 2 league MVP awards and 2-time Bruins MVP trophies. His skin is still peeling from his trip to the Dominican where he signed autographs at the local school where he handed out pencils like they were going out of style. He is well known at that resort’s swim-up bar where miraculously, he didn’t have to leave the pool all afternoon to relieve himself in the bathroom. Great job, Roman, have a great 2nd half of the season and thanks for stopping by to chat.

INTERMEDIATE DIVISION:

CANADIENS 4 FLYERS 2: Appears both refs missed out on the Hamilton Santa Clause parade so they had one themselves over at rink 4. A total of 12 minor penalties were called as the parade to the box slowed the game down to a crawl. More whistles than Pamela Anderson jogging past a construction site. Habs’ Dave Braid and Rob Baker chipped in with 2 points each while Flyers Veljko “Maverick” Gavric scored his 2nd of the year, going bottom left corner on a snipe.

Most of us got a chance to talk to the penalty box scorekeeper and thanked her for her hard work and dedication this year.

BRUINS 3 BLACKHAWKS 2: Bruins’ Dino “Good Job” Guidice found the net for the short-handed game winner as the Bruins won a thriller 3-2 over arch-rival Blackhawks. Wayne Slewinski also helped out the winners with a goal and a shiny apple as the Brew Crew continue to climb the standings. I took the “over” on my Proline ticket on this game, that was 10 bucks not well spent. Hawks’ John Hewitt did his part, scoring 2 but his team just couldn’t solve the Bruins smoldering defence, like running into a buzzsaw.

PENGUINS 8 LEAFS 2: Pens’ Dave Armstrong gets the gold star of the week to stick on his hockey helmet after notching 4 goals as they won a squeeker 8-2 over the Leafs. This guy is money. They had to open the roof on the team bus on the way home.  If this guy sits on his wallet, he’ll break the ceiling he is so money. In Leafs defence, they were missing 5 guys including goalie Bill “Temple of Doom” Templeman and scoring hero Bob Tenison. Players held a closed door meeting afterwards. Guy Romeo emerged first but refused comment with the media.

MASTERS DIVISION:

BRUINS 7 REDWINGS 1: Bruins John Toth skated circles around the ice like he was playing with a Spirograph set. Him and teammate Jimmy Bartlett both went top cheese for their 2ng goals of the season for the win. John “Get in the” Carvalho added 3 assists for the winners. Redwings got a goal from Vince Mercuri who is playing out of this world this year.

FLAMES 3 BLACKHAWKS 1: Flames’ Frank “the Tank” Jambrosich’s name barely fits on the back of his jersey but the puck certainly fills the net as he scored 2 big league goals in a 3-1 victory. What a game as the rest of us watched from the bar. Fans are starting to invest in this Flames team, the landscape has shifted and these guys are thinking championship, look out masters division!

KINGS 4 FLYERS 3: Kings’ Henry “Quick Release” Marfisi continues to pick up loose change and throw it into the Coinstar machine. 2 more goals for this guy who is playing on a different playing field right now. Joe “thank you very” Muchynski is also having a banner campaign for the Kings, also scoring 2 as they snuck by the Flyers 4-3. Flyers goal scoring machine John Annibale was held to 2 goals as he was all over the place like moths on a porchlight. Great game by both teams.

SHARKS 6 STARS 4: Mike Archer spearheaded the drive with 2 roof jobs as the Sharks forward went around defencemen like they were grandma’s in the left lane. Stars’ Guy Shaver with another 2 goals, wow. The only way to stop this guy is if his car runs out of gas on the way to the damn rink. This game had everything, should’ve seen Stars’ Chris Baratto’s saucer pass over 5 sticks for the ripest apple of the season on their 4th goal of the game. Bar staff are still cleaning up all the popcorn off the floor after that one.

Anyways, that’s all from this end of the ice. Heads up, if you are thinking about flooring it up at the bar after the game, ride program is all over the place like white on rice. Don’t want to see anyone in hot water. Full player stats will be posted on our website and there are a few masters schedule changes posted on their also.

Chris Marttila